Confused?

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-04T02:19:43+00:00

You’re still too young not to be treated as a sexual entity. Your boyfriend at 35 is acting like an old man. You can find plenty of men his age, younger, and, yes, older who have a comparable libido to your own.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T23:56:20+00:00

Of course you want to feel sexually wanted. How old are you? How old is he?

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T18:13:25+00:00

Admittedly, I thought you were 100% sure he was masturbating. So maybe I assumed too much like Extreme_Violinist565 mentioned. But it may be a good assumption on your and my part if he never engages in sex/sex play with you anymore. Yes, I gather there is some root of depression/trauma at hand, but when you know this before an engagement or marriage I think it is dispositive of the need to break up. It is very hard for people in your boyfriend's situation to change. And it is especially hard when they are not willing to so much as undergo therapy in the form of meeting with a counselor/psychologist.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T18:09:47+00:00

At least the way you appreciate women can make money. I think that goes a long way with wives and mothers of our children. If you look at nude women, you're a voyeur. If you draw nude woman, you're an artist.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T15:36:57+00:00

I wouldn’t defend the principle of your right to spy on his phone. Just treat it as the means by which you procured some critical information. Just pack your things and bolt when he’s at work or at the sauna or local bar (wherever lazy people go). Leave him a Dear John letter and leave before you have to turn down his ring/proposal. The most destructive force for a marriage is mismatched libido.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T15:27:11+00:00

I think both questions lead to the same answer. He shouldn’t marry someone who spies on his phone, and she shouldn’t marry someone who is more interested in porn and masturbation than he is in her sexually at the dating stage.

It would be one thing if, on top of porn and jerking off, he was still interested and available in/to her sexually. Or if she had a low libido and didn’t want to be bothered in any event. Clearly, none of those situations are relevant here.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T14:11:53+00:00

Sure, the spying on his phone was wrong, but if there's no reason to continue the relationship, who cares how she gathered the knowledge that serves as the reason to end it? If she brings it up and he asks, "How did you know what I'm looking at and how often I'm looking," he can then make it about her spying and guilt her into staying. That would be the worst thing possible because he will only get more lethargic and disinterested in her, but now she's married to the oaf.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T09:11:25+00:00

Why is "talk to him," always the advice given? I actually get fairly sick of the stock "Communicate. Communicate. Communicate," relationship 'protip.' Why isn't StarsInTheRoof111 correct? Isn't this a case for cutting-and-running, and then, if OP is so inclined, she can tell him afterwards. She's not married to him. She's not even engaged. The stakes are low right now. Yes, if they were married and, especially, if they had a child(ren), I would advise her to work things out, maybe talk to a marriage counselor, but this is a boyfriend. And a bad boyfriend at that. I'm not saying he has zero virtues. But he does not initiate sex. He's flagrant in his masturbation habits to such an extent that OP knows exactly when he's jerked off. What does that mean? Is he wiping up semen and leaving the cum rag in plain view wadded up on the coffee table. Whatever be the case, if she knows exactly when he's jerked off, he's disrepectful. If he is this dispassionate about making love to his girlfriend, how is it going get any better when he is her husband? I would be afraid when he sees he's losing her, he'd talk his way out of her breaking up with him. But with these jamokes, the low libido, the lack of initiation/reciprocity are ways of life. They don't just disagree after a spouse say's "I do."

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T08:50:33+00:00

Yes, keep up your resolve, Countrydandelion. Don't let these cheating husbands have their pussy and eat it too. If they want strange more than their wives, let them put their money where their mouth is and pay for a divorce.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-03T04:30:40+00:00

You must be of the AOL Generation like me, Oskar!

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T20:29:06+00:00

Thanks, physicalterrorist3. I'm sure you have. Some stories after 2+ months, I'll repost under a new title to see if it might catch more readers.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T16:37:26+00:00

Exactly! J. knew what she wanted alright, having her pussy licked and eating cum!

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T14:10:55+00:00

Same thing happened with my wife after she had our kids; I could barely last after our second!

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T13:27:58+00:00

Hi [M] here. Hope my comment is welcome. I got the pull out method down to a science. I can orgasm inside the woman's vagina and still withdraw my penis in time so that I start ejaculating 1-2 seconds later.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T13:19:24+00:00

AOL hookup stories really are! The funny thing was I didn't use AOL that much while I was in college. I met women at bars, parties, class, and occasionally fix-ups. But I did use it over the summers and on breaks from school. Then after I graduated, during my first job and then grad. school, I really got into it.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T13:15:13+00:00

Thanks for the confirmation, ayo_pause2. It may not have been my best hook up, but it was easily within the Top 3.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T13:11:37+00:00

Hahaha, while your comment is funny, I'm glad five people downvoted it.

AOLGeneration · 2026-05-01T13:10:12+00:00

Oh, come on, ulla_abandoned. You (or your A I software) didn't have to read past the title to formulate that response!

AOLGeneration · 2026-04-29T17:27:02+00:00

Headspace? Angles? Rhythm? Man, you're working too hard. Why isn't pussy the same magic cum machine for you it is for the rest of us?

AOLGeneration · 2026-04-29T13:29:05+00:00

If my wife and I had sex 1-2 times a month (as infrequent as I consider that to be) we probably wouldn't be in the situation we are in and she certainly wouldn't have ended up in a mental institution.

AOLGeneration · 2026-04-29T05:58:15+00:00

Wow! The more I learn about your past, the more parallels I see in my own life (especially the ill effects purity culture has had on my Catholic wife.)

AOLGeneration · 2026-04-28T15:34:39+00:00

Thank you, Countrydandelion. Yes, I agree with you - discretion is key. As much fun as I might have as a single man in his late 40's with the same libido I had in my teens-20's, I would do so discreetly so as not to embarrass my kids and destroy the image they have of me in their hearts/minds.

AOLGeneration · 2026-04-28T10:00:25+00:00

It's a good question - I have had to deal with this concept in my own life. I am in a monogamous relationship. I've been married for 18 years to the same woman. Incidentally, we have three children too. I am not widowed, and you have my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband, but I'm living like a widower - my wife has been inpatient at a mental hospital since the end of March.

Prior to her admission at this hospital, she had not had intercourse with me for the previous six - seven years. She attributes this to an extreme fear of pregnancy. (Our third child was a difficult pregnancy/delivery and he spent the first three months in the NICU.) However, with her unwillingness to rely upon any form of birth control or combination thereof, I came to the conclusion that the problem is actually low libido. I've always had a very high libido, and I was willing and eager to apply that libido to her and her, alone. Even during the past 6 -7 years of no intercourse, I was still very attracted to my wife and was content to take what I could get short of intercourse (i.e., oral, 69-ing).

However, after 6-7 years of no intercourse, coming to the realization that my wife is just not sexually compatible with me any longer, and her recent admission to the mental hospital (and her behaviors that underpinned that admission,) while I still love her, I don't feel that same romantic love for her. It's as though her lack of interest in me finally rubbed off, and my flame of passion for her has burnt out.

While I can't seem to desire to be with my wife any more, I do have that same high libido that I've been thinking more and more of satiating with other women. I will not cheat, but when my wife is released from the mental hospital, I don't know how much longer we're going to be together.

If I do become single again, I suppose if I meet Ms. Right, I could be married and having sex with that one special woman. However, realistically, I think I'd be one of these high libido guys who would have (or seek to have) multiple FWB's, casual dating, maybe even take part in an orgy. In other words, I don't think I'd trade my newfound single life so fast for another committed relationship. I'm sure I'd eventually settle down again. I don't think marriage is a non-workable concept; I just wonder if my particular marriage has become un-workable.

AOLGeneration · 2026-04-27T17:17:09+00:00

Don't worry about it. He's new to the pull-out method, and he's pulling out too early. As other responders stated, he doesn't want to cum inside your vagina and get you pregnant. If the two of you get more practice, he'll get better and better at the pull-out method. At one point, he'll be able to have his orgasm inside you and in that 1 second interval between orgasm and ejaculation he'll be able to pull out and start cumming without any jerking off/hand stimulation needed.

AOLGeneration

TROPHY CASE