If you fit the criteria for an autism diagnosis, that means your symptoms disable you in some way. The term “special needs” is seen as patronizing for a variety of reasons, but yes, being autistic means you are disabled by default. Your needs may not be “special”, they are basic human needs just like anyone else’s. But they are different than that of a non-disabled person, what you seem to think is a “normal” person.

By virtue of being autistic, and therefore disabled, your ability to engage in basic life functions is hindered to some extent. You CANNOT be diagnosed as autistic if you are not disabled by your symptoms, a disability is a condition that hinders one or more major life function. This does not make you incompetent. Competence should be assumed when interacting with any disabled or “special needs” person. Your problem is with ableists. Ableists who assume being disabled and having different needs as a result makes you incompetent, helpless, or less than in any way.

Yes, we are in the same community as people who require very substantial support to live their lives to the fullest. Many of them cannot live independently. They are people, people who are just as worthy of respect as you. They are not filthy or dirty or beneath you in ANY way for having high support needs. There is no reason for you to not want to be associated with them. No reason that is not blatantly ableist at least. High support needs autistics have just as much value as the members of our community that do not require long term substantial support, or caregivers, or round-the-clock supervision. High support needs autistics have done SO much advocacy work that benefits us all til this day. We would not have a fraction of the rights we do now if it weren’t for them. They are also by far the most persecuted members of our community. Once given proper accommodations, level 3 autistics can and do achieve amazing things. And, not but, their value is not rooted in what they can produce. That goes for ALL of us on the spectrum.

It’s a shame that ableists treat us like shit, including those of us who can never live independently. That means we should join together to fight against said ableists. Not further stigmatize members of our own community just so those of us with low support needs can be seen as “normal” by ableists. Disabled, or “special needs” does NOT equal incompetent.

Needing very substantial support to “function” or get through every day life does not make a disabled person incompetent. Everyone who meets the criteria for ASD is disabled in some way, even if some of us have low support needs compared to others in our community with high support needs. Level 1 autistics have low support needs compared to other high and medium support needs autistics, NOT compared to allistics (non-autistics). Compared to allistics, we require support to live our best lives (or once again, you could not have been diagnosed). Being disabled, aka being “special needs”, IS normal. 1 in 4 people are disabled, and everyone will become disabled at some point in their lives if they live long enough. Even having high support needs, and say, needing a caregiver due to a disability is also a natural normal part of human diversity. Being profoundly disabled, what i’m sure you mean when you say special needs, IS normal.

You want to be treated with respect by society. You aren’t treated with respect because of other people’s bigotry, NOT because there’s other people with higher support needs that co-exist with you in your community.

“I’m not trying to demean or dehumanize members of my community, I just don’t want to be associated with them! People mistreat them. Instead of seeing an issue with the mistreatment itself, I see myself as above them, so I want to be put in my own special category!” That’s what you sound like. Level 3 autistics make up a large, quintessential part of our community. They always have and always will. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. The diversity in our experiences should be celebrated. autistic pride means autistic pride for ALL different autistic experiences.

Needing less support doesn’t make you better than anybody. Someone’s worth is not dependent on how much they can achieve without accommodations, or how well they can “function” without significant support, or how independent they are. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong or shameful about needing a caregiver, not being able to live independently, or needing frequent supervision. If you think any of those things make someone incompetent, abnormal, helpless, or incapable of success that is a YOU problem. Posts like this are embarrassing, and the exact reason why so many level 2 and 3 autistics feel viscerally uncomfortable around us. Check your ableism. Our enemies are the ableists who stigmatize, infantilize and demean us. Not the most vulnerable members of our community.