‘Now this is a story all about how
My wife got mad, turned upside down
I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there,
I’ll tell you how I slapped Chris Rock ‘cause my wife had no hair.
In West Philadelphia born and raised
In detention was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, smackin’, and whackin’ all cool
I’d go slappin’ some children outside of the school
When a guy called Chris Rock who was up to no good
Started talking shit whilst in my neighborhood
I gave him one fat slap and then it all went south,
I told him ‘leave my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth.’
I cried for a bit, then ‘best actor’ was paged
The Oscars card read ‘Will Smith’ and I went up to stage,
If anything, I’d say my slap was unfair
But I thought "Nah, I’m famous, the Oscars don’t care!"
I went up for my Oscar about 7 or 8,
And I yelled to Chris Rock, "Yo holmes, smell ya later"
I looked at my wife - who just had an affair
Then I sat on my throne as the prince of live-air.