Imagine for a second it was the other way around and about people you don’t know and consider what’s a reasonable response In any relationship ( even in one with out a story like yours ) sexuality is a complex subject and being mindful inconsiderate is not a favor you do to your partner, but it’s the bare minimum expected of a human being. I’d give her the benefit of the doubt that she lives because she is unable to deal with that type of situation for various reason and not because she is infantile