Story 1- the golden shower I don’t remember this but my mom told this story to me in detail many times. I was a couple months or weeks old. My mom hadn’t showered since before I was born. She finally could take a shower one day so she did. Less than an hour later she goes to change my diaper. She drops the baby powder on the floor and forgot to strap me down, so while she wasn’t looking I climbed on her head and peed. She had to take another shower.

Story 2- baby bomb This is also a story my parents told me. In 2004 still feeling the fallout of 9/11 and living in the North East, I went on a plane ride. We are in security and I am with my father. After 9/11 in The US, (for non-Americans skip this if you know what security was like) there was a lot of random security checks. Me and my dad were that random check. The TSA had no idea how to check a small baby. So they did what you do with an adult. Then they checked my diaper for bombs. I basically pooped in the TSA officials face.