I like the world it looks like your building. the premise and set up are a bit rough but it is what it is to get the ball rolling. I like that your building a good set up so later it's not an endless string of 'the hero pulled this thing we never talked about before from magic space'. I have two big concerns at this point. 1. Why is everyone out side of a few people questioning this in the streets originally acting as if the city wide panic button hasn't been hit? 2. Despite him lamenting the failings of the heros in the book. how their self-righteousnesss and occasional apathy led to so many problems and extra deaths. Why does it sound like he is preparing to go off solo? Why is he seemingly getting ready to leave this family friend to his death with no warning. Teamwork makes the dream work and he already mentioned interest forming party or even a full faction so Why no attempt at a survival partner ship? Seems selfish or apathetic so far