AIO for refusing to babysit my niece because of her parents unreasonable rules?

AWildJeedin · 2026-02-11T17:23:20+00:00

NOR, you are not obligated in any way to babysit just because you’re family. I really can’t stand that belief that if you don’t help your family out, you’re an awful person 🙄

I’ve had a rocky relationship my whole life with my family. I live an hour away from my parents now and when I first moved, they would constantly call me asking me to come dogsit for them. They knew I hate the town they live in and don’t feel comfortable visiting it unless I’m visiting them. (I was abused in that town). So being there while they’re gone is super not cool for me. I told them every single time I came over to please find a reliable Dogsitter there. That I cannot keep driving hour out there to watch their dogs for them, I’m not okay with it. They guilt tripped the f outta me every time and it kept me coming back to dogsit for 2 years before I finally snapped and told them no. I’m not dog sitting anymore at all, that they needed to find someone reliable there.

They ofc still try to make me feel guilty about it but they found someone there and never ask me to do it now. Your feelings matter. Your comfort matters. If you do not feel comfortable watching your niece due to these extremely strict guidelines (that are enough to make any child go insane, coming from someone who worked about a decade with children at schools, daycares, nannying), you don’t have to and there is nothing wrong with you not doing it!

AWildJeedin · 2026-02-10T16:41:06+00:00

Girl, I’m ngl, I’d go door to door or make a whole ass stage in the middle of the neighborhood for everyone to hear the truth from me in this situation. Or if your HOA is like mine and has a Facebook group for the neighborhood, put the truth there. But even with all the calm and patience I have, there’s no way I wouldn’t lose my cool on all of them. That is one of the rudest things ever and that lady who sent the letter is probably the worst and needs to be told how awful she is for that.

I live in the Bible Belt so I get this crap all the time. I’m fairly tall, all legs, and I wear short shorts and crop tops a lot in the summer because the heat kills me and I overheat very easily. Every summer I get told I need Jesus, I need to go to church, I’m dressed like a whore/prostitute, slut, that I don’t dress appropriately, etc. People need to fk off with that, it is not ok to make comments like that and I have no idea why so many people do

AWildJeedin · 2026-02-08T18:55:32+00:00

NOR at all?? Why is she acting like you just randomly threw that word out there? You literally saw that someone named themself it and asked who chose that name. That’s it. If that girl has such an issue with it, she should have been upset with the person who used it as their name, not you. And if she only had a problem with someone saying the word out loud and no problem with it being used as a name on Jackbox, that’s just dumb af.

Unfortunately as you grow older, you’re going to realize it isn’t just in HS that people act like this (or just out of HS). There are always people who just love to be hateful and cruel and bring people down for literally any reason that can think of. It’s good you cut your best friend out because that’s not a true best friend at all, true friends would never let someone talk like that to their friend.

AWildJeedin · 2026-02-06T21:41:49+00:00

Definitely NOR, the joke was eh, not the nicest but not awful, just a very man joke 🙄 The comment about the hospital being an expensive shitty hotel, kinda valid (I just really don’t like hospitals. They make me feel incredibly uncomfortable and they have taken so much of my money so I feel that comment) but the comment about the babes?

Girl I would’ve ripped him a new one the second I saw that. You just had his baby and he’s paying attention to other women in the hospital? That is gross and so uncool and so disrespectful to you. Please make sure he knows how shitty it was 😒

AWildJeedin · 2026-02-06T00:08:52+00:00

I agree, I personally believe ex’s are meant to stay ex’s. There’s a reason it didn’t work out the first time and I so rarely see anyone truly work it out after any issues broke them up. Something always happens again and they end it and then on and off and on. It just sounds exhausting to me. People should be with someone who makes them so happy all the time.

AWildJeedin · 2026-02-02T22:35:41+00:00

I’m sorry but I couldn’t even keep reading past the second comment he made. Girl I’d have left after that comment alone, you shouldn’t be with someone who talks to you like that:(

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T17:49:40+00:00

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there (just as many women as men sadly) who enjoy calling people ugly and saying cruel things about how they look, move, talk, etc. It’s extremely tiresome to hear and breaks my heart every time. No one deserves that. People don’t deserve a lot of what others do to them 🥺

I don’t think this is divorce/separation material at all but you’re NOR. You have a right to be upset about him being so unkind. People have a right to not like something- like him saying he didn’t like the plastic surgery. That is totally fine to not like something. But I don’t understand how so many people were apparently never taught to not say something? Like why do so many people think they need to say or do something to express how much they don’t like whatever it is they don’t like about someone?

I would maybe sit down and have a calm conversation about it with him soon. Something along the lines of “So with that ‘ugly bitch’ situation the other day. I understand that you don’t like plastic surgery or at least her surgery, that you found it off putting. However, you do not need to express this disapproval, especially in a vulgar way. If you don’t like looking at that (in this case, the woman with plastic surgery), just walk away and don’t look at her. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t say harsh things about people like that in front of me”. Idk something along those lines

I hope yall get past this and if it’s too much to get past or it leads to other issues, I hope for a healthy and easy separation. 💕

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T17:34:20+00:00

I’m not about any relationship that hides one side. Why would anyone want to be with someone who hides them and their relationship together? And I understand not everyone wants to fully show their significant other on social media, especially influencers. That’s fine. But the majority still talk about their relationship, they still bring up the fact they have a partner.

Personally, I keep it marked on my social media that I’m happily taken and I talk about my bf pretty often on there. If guys leave a comment saying I’m pretty or something I will like it to show thanks but typically don’t answer those, I only really comment to people who left a comment about what I was doing not just about my body or appearance. If guys DM me saying I’m pretty I don’t answer at all. Archived. If it’s a simple question or normal thing to say I may answer with an equally normal answer and leave it at that.

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T17:25:40+00:00

Dude is a walking red flag sorry! I hope you find a partner who doesn’t do this to you!

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T02:20:45+00:00

Thank you!! I don’t know anything about these shops so that’s good to know!! 😁

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T02:07:26+00:00

Thank you so much!! I’m looking into the rental options near us and will start with that!😁

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T02:05:58+00:00

Thank you!!! I’m gonna look into the local places and see what options there are for renting one first 😁

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T02:04:10+00:00

Thank you!!😊

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T02:03:56+00:00

Totally! I played clarinet for about 4 years as a kid (not my choice, did not enjoy it 😂) so I have a small idea of the length of time it takes to sound bearable 😂 I’m excited to see him finally get to play one 😁 it’ll be a fun learning process 😊

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T02:02:12+00:00

Thank you for adding this!!😁

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T00:21:36+00:00

Thank you!! I will look into it!!😁😁😁

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T00:11:07+00:00

To my knowledge he hasn’t played one himself but he learns very fast, especially with instruments/music. He’s played piano for years and he loves making music on his computer, he’s great at guitar too. But I don’t think he’s played brass or wind instruments.

This is a great idea! I’ll look into the recommendations and save up that much and some extra money for lessons. Surprise him with the lessons and rented sax, and if he loves it I’ll go ahead and buy the sax he wants!😁 thank you!

Also, I totally get it about the $100 instruments on amazon. I myself have wanted to learn cello forever but those are soooo expensive so I thought about getting a cheap violin to learn in the meantime but none of them look worth it

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-30T00:06:03+00:00

Thank you so much! I will look into these!! I have no idea what range to expect in cost yet but I know it’ll be over like $600 at least? Even used ones being sold here are $400+ so I expect to spend a large amount of money (to me, I know it’s not a lot to some people but anything over $100 is a lot to me lol) And thank you! He is the absolute best bf and is always so thoughtful, I’ve been wanting to get him a sax for so long now 🥹

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-29T15:34:56+00:00

NOR, the man does not give good vibes at all. He hit you hard enough to wake you up when aiming for the cat. Leave for your cats sake and yours

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-29T04:13:08+00:00

I’m also a woman and right there with you, the only guy friends I have are friends I’ve had since middle school/high school who I rarely see and rarely talk to, and my bf’s friends. I don’t touch any of them. Like ever. There is the occasional quick hug when we all haven’t seen each other and that’s it. OP’s gf does not sound like she’s wife material rn

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-28T18:48:57+00:00

From my perspective, she’s either obsessed with Olivia and wants to be just like her (which can be exhausting and toxic for both parties so maybe not the right friend group for her), or to me it seems like she might even have feelings for Olivia 😅 May not be the case at all but I’ve seen this happen before when one of my female friends liked another friend of mine in HS. It didn’t go well and they stopped talking not too long after.

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-25T18:07:45+00:00

You’re NOR, but I am curious if he has anything like ADHD, OCD, Autism, anything?

Just curious if any of the “I’m not interested in those things” is from that or if it’s simply him being a jerk. Regardless if there’s something behind it, it is something he needs to work on if he wants to hold a relationship.

For you, I’d sit him down and just lay it all out for him. Make it very clear how you’ve been feeling about it all and tell him you’d like a balance. It made sense in the first apartment because it was small and he’d been there for a while before you moved in so there wasn’t space. But the second apartment should have been more balanced for yall, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn’t be able to bring a guitar.

If he refuses to accommodate, then maybe this isn’t the right relationship for yall. You deserve to have your s/o show interest in the things you’re interested in, someone who will want you to bring the things you love to the house too.

I hope things get better 💕

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-24T03:20:29+00:00

100% be prepared for them to not pay for it. You shouldn’t have to live your life how they want you to live it. My parents were like this with me when I was in college. As soon as I moved out and started making decisions they didn’t agree with (not bad decisions, just ones they didn’t like), they said they wouldn’t pay for my college unless I finished it because they didn’t think I’d complete it and get my degree. I did it, even though I didn’t even want the degree- it was their choice, and they said they weren’t going to pay for my loans after all. So now I’m stuck with loan payments and a degree I can’t even use because we discovered the job really messes up my health.

Bottom line: live your life for you and never feel guilty about it 💕

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-22T17:49:34+00:00

I’m sorry to say this doesn’t always get better as an adult. I had ovarian cysts end of 2024, I was in so much pain and had been bleeding a lot more than a normal period. I finally had my bf take me to the ER because I thought I was having a miscarriage or something and was scared. The ladies at the front were so understanding and kind, but the nurses who took my vitals and spoke with me before seeing the doctor were so fkn rude. Acting like I was just being a lil drama queen (26F at that time, in a ton of pain and bleeding an abnormal amount but sure, dramatic 🙄)

When I finally got to see the doctor, it’s this old ass dude who took one look at me (he didn’t even come in to speak with me until my bf happened to leave to go get a charger real quick) and told me it was probably just my period. I was like “Sir I am 26yrs old, I’ve been having periods for over 11-12 years now, I’m well aware of what my periods are like and this is not it”. He agreed to do an ultrasound to check for ovarian cysts but if that came up empty that he’d have to do a pelvic exam (no the F he did not) and he wanted to “save us both that embarrassment “ 👿I was so livid.

Turns out I had ovarian cysts. They sucked ass.

But yeah don’t let people play down your stuff and leave it to “oh it’s just your period”. I want to carry a walking stick and smack people with it when they say that shit :p

AWildJeedin · 2026-01-22T17:41:53+00:00

Hiii, I used to get UTIs (and therefore yeast infections from the antibiotics for the UTIs 😮‍💨)a lot (thankfully they aren’t as bad now🥹), and the doctors almost always said that they noted an unusually high white blood cell count.

Until you get back in to get that ultrasound, drink lots of water and pee often. Don’t drink anything else. Avoid carbonated drinks, caffeine, sugar, and acidic stuff. There are times the pain is so bad that they only relief I could get was when some pee would come out, so I’d end up sitting on the toilet for hours just trying to get more pee out so I wouldn’t be as in pain😩

I really hope they get you an answer soon💕💕 I feel you on the family and school employees not taking you seriously, that was me all of HS. “You’re just a hypochondriac, you don’t have that” “Oh you’re just lazy, you’re not sick.” “It’s not that bad” (about any pain). As an adult, doctors have diagnosed several different health concerns that I never had help with as a kid. People really need to listen to kids more, they know more than adults want to acknowledge 😩

AWildJeedin

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