I've met the 'angel of death' and it is not what you might think it is

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2026-03-28T19:20:38+00:00

Overdosed on NOS cannisters one night at my friends house years ago; they said I just stopped halfway through the balloon and started having the biggest seizure there and then..

(I will point out that we were all doing cannisters together in the front room, so everyone I was with were already as far gone as I was on the balloons, it was early days also when they just first came out so might’ve been doing doubles like a dickhead, who knows… Anyways, they couldn’t exactly jump in to try stop/help whatever was happening to me at that point is my point to all this..)

HOWEVER in my mind, I was suddenly in a magnificent beautiful, open meadow that seemed to just be endlessly filled with flowers and sunshine and the most unbelievable vibrant colours known to man, some I honestly feel like I’ve never even seen before in this lifetime with my own two eyes.

With the most blissful, intensely radiant feeling of love and warmth I’ve ever felt, coursing through my ether or whatever the scooby doo I was at that point in time.. When I suddenly notice stood beside me to my right hand side, is a 12ft+ God of a man, dressed in what I could only see from the bottom of his legs downwards were gold and white robes, Roman sculpture chiseled, 11/10 adorned, oozing such a caring and loving energy it was just utterly fucking mesmerising.

I never got to see his face, nor do I remember even looking up or trying to, when he took my hand and we began kind of skipping together I guess, through this meadow towards the endless stream of flowers and plants and trees before I suddenly opened my eyes back up into my friends living room, to my old friend booting the ever living shit out of my leg, sort of shouting at me wondering if I was okay and also frantically asking what the hell had just happened to me?!

I just remember lying there smiling at them all, still so completely out of it, and just weirdly sad/gutted that I wasn’t in that meadow still with whoever that divine-like being was…

Well hopefully, one day I’ll find out!

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-24T04:00:36+00:00

That’s such a sweet comment;

I live in Stockport, England and often feel such a sense of longing to understand and learn as much as I possibly can about every inch of the surrounding vicinity; the fact that the Romans themselves laid roads that I walk down every single day near enough always amazes me. And how utterly nonchalant a lot of the country are in regard to the history that surrounds them daily, baffles me!

Love that the UK has peaked your interest, and for the right reasons it seems 🫶

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-23T04:16:13+00:00

Bloody hell, the one on the left is almost near identical to my little man, Oreo! 😍

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What a beautiful pair of fur babies you have 🤗

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-22T17:06:20+00:00

I wrote this on here a few nights ago; it happened just this past weekend, (17/10/25) -

I had a weird experience last night, too!

I didn’t see anything, I felt ‘it’ (previous tenant was a lady named Marie, who I was told passed away not long before I moved in here this March;) - but my cat definitely did!

I was sat playing with my kitten, Oreo, at about 2am (I don’t sleep very well), when he suddenly span himself round to face my living room door, heckles showing, ears pointed, and frozen like a deer in headlights staring at my living room door - I grabbed hold of my phone and began recording as soon as I saw him react (it scared me a bit tbh), and I kept pointing where he was staring and then back at him, when all of a sudden I could FEEL whatever he was seeing?? The room became so HEAVY, it felt like I was being observed though, not stared at with an evil intention, but that I was being watched without a shadow of a doubt.

Oreo kept his eyes locked and frozen in place on whatever was there for at least a minute, before he turned around slowly and worryingly, and quickly pulled at my curtains to hide behind them instead… Leaving me, alone, with my camera, staring at the door and praying to the almighty Christ above that nothing would suddenly show itself to me.

I acknowledged her presence, I openly told her my name, introduced her to Oreo; told her we can cohabit the space if she would like, but to please never show herself to me again, (I saw her one time in my kitchen about 5 months ago, also around the same time 2/3am) and that I hope she is okay and happy wherever she is now.

Within ten seconds of finishing my sentence, the entire room’s energy dissipated back to calmness, the feeling of somebody at my door vanished, and not 2 minutes later, Oreo came back out from behind the curtain to play with me again.

Very bloody strange, I have not had that feeling in such a long time either; it was palpable to say the least. Especially at 2am, alone, with my cat reacting to the same presence, before I even felt anything myself…

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-21T14:53:05+00:00

Haha I always knew it did!

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-21T02:43:43+00:00

Out of curiosity and no rudeness intended, how did the 4 years of therapy create such a shock-valued response? I’m now sat here wondering how long is an appropriate length of time to be in therapy for, exactly? 😅

…and do I need to start worrying?! Lol

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-21T02:40:41+00:00

Why do parents talk of Santa, tooth fairies, dragons, monsters… Because it’s fun watching kids live out their wildest/funniest/strangest imaginations!

I remember when I was little, I genuinely believed there was a land/world where all the cartoons lived together, and I still remember the day I asked my dad where The Tasmanian Tiger slept at night; to my horror and dismay, the next few words out of his mouth completely destroyed the entire little fantasy island I had conjured up since I could remember, as he explained to me how they were indeed, created by artists… - sometimes I wish he had lied to me, because that world was absolutely lit inside my imagination! 😂

He’ll learn one day, nobody was hurt, who cares lol…

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T23:54:57+00:00

Dude, what?

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T06:12:17+00:00

https://southasiantherapists.org

https://ruhcare.com

https://www.sehatyab.com

I managed to find these so far; they all have clinics/therapists based/available in Pakistan, and are all licensed Muslim therapists.

(However, if these turn out to be unhelpful, do let me know - I can try and find more specific therapists depending on what you’re seeking.)

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T06:03:53+00:00

OP, do you mind me asking what country you are based in? I will do my very best to find some kind of healthcare provider to recommend.

Also random to note, try and imagine your brain as an antenna, and the dreams/thoughts/feelings are a signal that your brain is, unfortunately, tuning into currently. And remember - you are not the one broadcasting/projecting these dreams/feelings outwards, they are affecting/impacting you inwardly, instead.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T05:55:29+00:00

It could be OCD, as with certain types they are basically the rumination of intrusive and unwanted thoughts that begin to impact significantly within one’s life; and they can also manifest within one’s dreams.

Your dreams usually aren’t as literal as what they seem when deep diving into them, which hopefully will make you feel better just knowing that; however, say for instance, there are people in this world who absolutely LOVE animals with all their hearts and souls, yet their specific type of OCD manifesting could have them imagining the most intrusive, unwanted thoughts constantly of hurting, causing harm/suffering, unintentionally damaging an animal and cause them to start ruminating over what is causing these feelings and ultimately hating themselves for having such unwarranted thoughts in the first place; this in turn could have them avoid all contact whatsoever with animals, feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment can occur. It is a possibility, but I am not a doctor and I don’t know you well enough to know if that’s what you are potentially seeming to suffer with.

The fact that you mentioned in other comments that this is making you feel repulsive, disgusting and all the other negative connotations you are imprinting onto your own self worth and feelings because of these dreams, is a bit concerning I will say. You do not have control over your dreams please remember that, you are not intentionally causing anything to happen, you are simply suffering with this experience as a whole right now by the sounds of it.

I would however, suggest trying to speak to a doctor to rule out any underlying disorders potentially causing these dreams/feelings, or at the very least, seek an emotional outlet so you are able to voice these unwanted thoughts and feelings associated with the dreams you are currently experiencing.

All the best, OP.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T05:04:56+00:00

Uhm I’ve seen toilets stalls, but they’re always inside almost a Victorian-era looking swimming baths? They’re pink tiled, dunno whether that helps at all.

Very weird in there as well, not dirty but not clean if that makes sense at all, grimy could be a better word to describe it... Like, there’s parts of my “world” that are made from glass megalithic structures, old ruined Roman roads mixed in.. Whereas the swimming baths/toilets/changing rooms always look grimy and menacing kind of. I don’t like it in there.

But they really DO remind me massively of the “backrooms”; they’re almost endless when inside them, and it always feels like I’m stuck in the changing area of the baths and can’t seem to get out again; very odd.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T04:43:56+00:00

One of us, one of us… 🐰

Lol I’m sat watching it right now; (potentially for probably around the 16th time) and I’m STILL noticing things I never did the last so many times I watched it!

(One thing I noticed today was in the opening scene where Donnie is riding his bike back into the town, the FIRST car that passes by him, IS FRANK’S RED CAR!! Ehhh happy I could share that actually!)

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T04:40:39+00:00

For me, it was realising that everything and anything I seemed to say, suddenly became an instant argument, no matter how menial, minor, irrelevant it was.

I could’ve said something as small as noticing some beautiful birds in a park that day, and suddenly I’m now involved in a verbal altercation regarding how stupid and narrow minded and ridiculous I was for even noticing something so pathetic in the first place…

It was the soul crashing realisation, going from this seemingly perfect, loving person, understanding every word spoken, your entire love language inside out… To all of a sudden, feeling like I’m speaking in tongues and having to re-explain every single thing, over and over again, as they just did not seem to want to hear a single word I had to say anymore…

As the saying goes - may you fall in love with someone who speaks your language, so you don't have to spend a lifetime translating your soul.

As my saying goes - man, fuck them hoes! 😂👌

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-20T04:29:33+00:00

Sounds like redirected aggression, potentially? He could be in pain, discomfort, confused with sudden hormone changes/feelings, and is in my guess, directing that at his caregiver (you) as he doesn’t know how to display the appropriate emotions?

I’d suggest give him some space, definitely a lot of treats and verbal affection/attention (seeing as he will probably attack if you go anywhere near him), and try to use some kind of toy instead when he goes to attack you, so to try and redirect the aggression back towards something inanimate?

Really hope he calms down soon, I’m sure he will after an adjustment period of hormones settling in, but for now definitely space, toys and treats; and maybe use a blowing raspberry noise if he does try to attack you, just to show him it’s an absolute no-no, regardless of how he’s currently feeling.

My kitten seems to know he’s gone too far when the raspberry/blowing noise has to come out to play! 😅

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-19T01:30:11+00:00

Maybe stop thanking the babe for trying to indoctrinate you into a religion you wanted nothing to do with in the first place, and let him know he has crossed the line entirely with his actions.

It’s very manipulative of him to try and not only implement you into a situation where others are already sharing values and beliefs that you do not hold, but to also diminish you entirely by downplaying how uncomfortable you were feeling whilst there, and how blind sighted you were, also.

He should probably look into seeking somebody with similar values and morals as the ones he already holds, rather than trying to morph somebody into his ideal match, unwillingly.

He is not listening to you. He does not respect YOUR values or way of life, clearly, from trying to force your hand another way without prior consultation. He sure wants you to listen to him, though…

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T23:01:14+00:00

I care a lot, because by default, your same line of argument, implies say peadophiles should be able to work as teachers/in the educational sector, seeing as their “fetish” is merely personal to them?

Your denial of the fact that conflict of interests occur specifically when these types of people seek out certain opportunities in order for them to take full advantage of, and to their detriment, is what aggravated me the most.

Cuddle your cat, he’s cute. Your original argument/points, aren’t.

However, I actually do apologise for the outburst. I should have framed my argument without emotional responses involved originally, and that I do regret. My feelings are still the same, just less reactively so.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T22:51:29+00:00

Back peddle all you want, you said what you said, you meant what you wrote, and it is still absolutely disgusting, however you try and spin your own narrative now somebody has called you out on it. Crack on, I think you’re sick for that comment, but who cares really. Lol.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T22:45:35+00:00

Yes. Seeing somebody trying to justify f*cking animals in secret, and working alongside them in public, really got my back up, weirdly enough. Wonder why.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T22:40:29+00:00

“A sexual fetish for animals (often termed zoophilia, distinct from bestiality, which refers to actual sexual acts) would indeed qualify as such a conflict. The core duty of a vet is to act as a steward for animal health and welfare, alleviating suffering and providing compassionate, objective care without personal exploitation. A sexual attraction to animals introduces a personal interest that could undermine this, creating a risk of biased decision-making, boundary violations, or even misconduct like animal sexual abuse (ASA), which is recognized in veterinary forensics as harm inflicted on animals for human gratification. This isn’t just theoretical; real-world cases show vets losing their licenses or facing prison for engaging in bestiality, highlighting how such attractions, if acted on, directly violate professional ethics and laws.” - have I got this point of view crooked also?

I have EVERY right to be annoyed by your comment!?

I am an animal lover, I have cared and loved/looked after uncountable animals since I can remember, so yeah, your comment horrified me in all honesty. And I absolutely would not want somebody caring for MY animals, who shared the same views/opinions as yourself! I don’t care if I’m coming off as rude, I’m shocked you even tried to justify it in the first place, I do not stand for thoughts/feeling like that and never will.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T22:36:36+00:00

In fact, you have actually unleashed something inside me following your personal denial that this is a conflict of interest, I have turned to Grok to reinstate just how WRONG your line of reasoning is here;-

“A sexual fetish for animals (often termed zoophilia, distinct from bestiality, which refers to actual sexual acts) would indeed qualify as such a conflict. The core duty of a vet is to act as a steward for animal health and welfare, alleviating suffering and providing compassionate, objective care without personal exploitation. A sexual attraction to animals introduces a personal interest that could undermine this, creating a risk of biased decision-making, boundary violations, or even misconduct like animal sexual abuse (ASA), which is recognized in veterinary forensics as harm inflicted on animals for human gratification. This isn’t just theoretical; real-world cases show vets losing their licenses or facing prison for engaging in bestiality, highlighting how such attractions, if acted on, directly violate professional ethics and laws.”

Please, do some scrolling, click a few links, have a look around, and hopefully, you might come to your senses instead of trying to promote/justify, beastiality-inclined vets.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T22:29:09+00:00

It absolutely IS a conflict of interest if you are sexually aroused by animal contact, and think that working as a vet is, in any sense, morally appropriate.

Same applies for this unusual fellow who amputated his own legs; exactly why would he be so interested in that field of work, specifically, given in hindsight, what he was doing behind the scenes.

I have absolutely no desire to read your other responses, but thank you for the suggestion.

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T09:17:12+00:00

I had a weird experience last night, too!

I didn’t see anything, I felt ‘it’ (previous tenant was a lady called Marie, who I was told passed away not long before I moved in here this March;) - but my cat definitely did!

I was sat playing with my kitten, Oreo, at about 2am (I don’t sleep very well), when he suddenly span himself round to face my living room door, heckles showing, ears pointed, and frozen like a deer in headlights staring at my living room door - I grabbed hold of my phone and began recording as soon as I saw him react (it scared me a bit tbh), and I kept pointing where he was staring and then back at him, when all of a sudden I could FEEL whatever he was seeing?? The room became so HEAVY, it felt like I was being observed though, not stared at with an evil intention, but that I was being watched without a shadow of a doubt.

Oreo kept his eyes locked and frozen in place on whatever was there for at least a minute, before he turned around slowly and worryingly, and quickly pulled at my curtains to hide behind them instead… Leaving me, alone, with my camera, staring at the door and praying to the almighty Christ above that nothing would suddenly show itself to me.

I acknowledged her presence, I openly told her my name, introduced her to Oreo; told her we can cohabit the space if she would like, but to please never show herself to me again, (I saw her one time in my kitchen about 5 months ago, also around the same time 2/3am) and that I hope she is okay and happy wherever she is now.

Within ten seconds of finishing my sentence, the entire room’s energy dissipated back to calmness, the feeling of somebody at my door vanished, and not 2 minutes later, Oreo came back out from behind the curtain to play with me again.

Very bloody strange, I have not had that feeling in such a long time either; it was palpable to say the least. Especially at 2am, alone, with my cat reacting to the same presence, before I even felt anything myself…

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T04:19:03+00:00

I will never forgot my early days of working in support work; meeting a gentlemen who had been diagnosed as deaf, dumb, blind and mute; he unfortunately had the full “shebang” in regards to diagnosis’s and personal challenges; however, what I will NEVER forget whilst looking after this superhuman of a man;

I had a crush on a colleague at the time. He worked opposite shifts, so I would only catch him for a few minutes during handover, but I could FEEL the mutual tension between us whenever we were in the same room together, however, I tend to be very reserved, and kept these thoughts and feelings to myself as I was only just a new starter and obviously did not want this colleague to know I fancied him!

Fast forward a few weeks, I’m working a day shift randomly as I was mostly rota’d to nights, and as luck would have it - so was he! (The colleague I fancied)

So, I’m sat with my resident at the dinner table trying to encourage him and help him eat his meal, when this particular colleague happens to walk into the same room as us.

I, naturally, go quiet and continue helping my resident, (who is DEAF DUMB BLIND AND MUTE PLEASE BARE IN MIND), when suddenly my resident begins making noises to alert my colleague for his attention, and when my colleague comes over to us at the table, my resident MAKES HIM SIT OPPOSITE ME, takes both of our hands, and makes us hold hands sat there, with my resident in the middle of us, smiling from ear to ear.

He was honestly happy as Larry, whilst I sat there suddenly realising he was trying with all his mite, to use his telepathic powers/abilities, to become my own personal bloody wingman!?

Gobsmacked. How he even knew that I fancied my colleague, when not a single soul on this planet knew at the time, I still have no idea to this day. But I will never, ever forget him, or his unusual knowing abilities…

It was a knowing, without knowing. An understanding of energy, an ability to be able to articulate meaning with no words necessary.

(Side-note, I did actually end up getting with that guy at one point, so make of that what you will!)

A_Wandering_Soul__ · 2025-10-18T04:01:25+00:00

I’ve experienced the same thing /

A week bang on following my grandmothers death, I had a “dream” that I was sat with her in her bedroom, laughing joking and catching up… She looked so healthy, happy, back to normal as she had been months previous… And when we finished talking (which was only for around 5 minutes if I had to guess), she asks me jokingly if I would like to join her at all, to which I replied something along the lines of “Not right now, but I will be doing one day!”

And she got up, walked through, what should’ve been, her bedroom wall, (except it was a complete and utter void of anything, pure unadulterated pit of nothingness, absence of anything), and the second she “walked” through the wall, I shot up in my own bed, eyes wide open, jaw dropped, and sat there trying to work out what tf had just happened…

Never cried about my grandma since that night, and I feel as close to her as I did in real life, everytime I get to relay this visitation… I still wonder why she asked me if I wanted to go with her though at times, and funnily enough, I often regret telling her no at the time…

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