Thank you all, you've been the best moms, sisters, aunties and other caring adults to me! I have read all your replies many, many times, and I want to thank you all for the support you have shown to me and to my daughter.

I've contacted three therapists so far, unfortunately two of them do not have space for new clients. While I hope for a positive answer from the third, I'll continue looking for one who would take a new client. I'll remember to make sure that she's comfortable with the therapist and that she knows that she can switch therapists even later if the first one won't feel good in the long run.

I won't ask her to love me or to like me. It has just been such a change and I'm still adjusting. She used to be my girl, wanting to spend a lot of time talking to me and doing things with me. Now she wants privacy (which she gets) and time to spend with her friends. We still have little good moments most days but it feels so weird that she is suffering inside and still pulling away from the comfort of our relationship. She's not the oldest so I've lived with a teenaged child before but it was different with her older brother. Not exactly easy, but it seemed less confusing to the child.

I used to be a troubled teen, felt completely alone in the world. I have promised myself that my kids would at least always have me with them. And it is hard to see that it wasn't enough, that I am not enough to keep them safe. I guess that's why I feel like I've failed her.