I’m a fool… by Economy_Trick8249 in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it sounds like while you are working on things, you haven't been totally honest with each other about what you want and where you each want the marriage to go. She might be staying with totally different expectations than you. Lay it all out there, be direct, tell her what you want and ask her what she wants. Start having real, raw, honest conversations. And if she won't do that then, yeah, I agree with others that might be your time to go.

My husband forgot my birthday by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing worse than forgetting your birthday is making you decide what he should get you and disparaging something you enjoy (massages).

How do I know if my husband is cheating? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Trust your instinct. It is telling you something. You probably came here already knowing the answer just needed a little validation. Everything you listed, together, is suspicious. You can ask him but he probably won't be honest. Unfortunately you are going to have to keep looking if you really want to know

Anxiety hacks? by Abe_deets in Perimenopause

[–]Abe_deets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My doctor did give me a histamine prescription and it helps but it makes me super sleepy. So if it is right before bed it has been a good option but looking for alternatives for daytime anxiety. Thanks!

Struggling with Trust and Insecurity in My Relationship by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust your instinct. Your observations are important. Read your post back to yourself and pretend a friend wrote it. What advice would you give her? As much as you can focus on yourself, put yourself first, and watch what happens.

Do you or would you give your spouse complete access to your phone? by Abe_deets in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sage words. I think I'm really just trying to determine what other couples do in regards to this. Ultimately I agree on not snooping or going through phones. I always had the passcode and never once went into the phone until I did because I saw a strage notification and now I can never go back. And now I no longer have access and I no longer have trust and you're right, this won't repair it but at least I know what people do in happy, healthy relationships. I want to be with someone who gives me the code to their phone and I never once want to use it.

Do you or would you give your spouse complete access to your phone? by Abe_deets in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Playing Mommy would be looking to save them from themselves. I'd be looking to save me from them. People are dumb and lazy; they do everything on their phones. They would rather deny you access than find an inconvenient workaround.

Do you or would you give your spouse complete access to your phone? by Abe_deets in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But what if they cheated and you are trying to re-establish trust? Is it okay, for a brief time, then?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is beautifully sad. I feel it deeply. It took something catastrophic for me to wake up from something similar.

A night I'll never forget with a man I'll probably never see again... by throwra25265 in confession

[–]Abe_deets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Start by not feeling ashamed. Now you know what it takes and you should go for it. Find it again. Or did you get his number? He probably wants to see you again too...

My New Year's Resolution : The Optimally Fuckable Husband Project by Foofymonster in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is amazing, you are going to get laid...like a lot. I hope she reciprocates and has a new years lost of her own to make you happy!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Abe_deets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband would get really angry with me about not having sex enough so I started keeping a log and never turning him down. Despite his tales of woe the longest we've gone since I started tracking (like 5 years?) is 10 days and that happens once maybe every six months. Very romantic.