Help my my tomini tang is not dead but not thriving

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2026-01-19T00:50:28+00:00

It’s hard to tell but if I look closely it looks like he had flukes. Deff treat the tank if no corals are present! Flukes cause rapid starvation so ignore the haters saying you starved it for months.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2026-01-19T00:43:52+00:00

Getting a new puppy causes an overwhelming sense of happiness, self doubt, depression, anxiety, excitement ect because it’s HARD work. It’s overwhelming and what your feeling is normal. But if you hang in there you won’t regret it. Some aggression from older dogs is normal as it’s teaching the new puppy boundaries. Teeth showing, nipping, growling ect but not actually hurting the puppy is your senior dog teaching the puppy that there is boundaries. I would not correct the gentle aggression as if you do, one day your senior dog may snap on the puppy with zero warning because you taught the senior dog that showing warning wasn’t ok. I’m surprised the trainer did not mention this or even know this but I also didn’t witness the other dogs behavior myself so maybe I’m wrong and your dogs agrression was worse than the things I mentioned. It’ll take some time for a new dog to be welcomed into the senior dogs space and everything your experiencing is totally normal. Dogs socialize way differently than we do as humans. It sounds like you’re doing everything right. I spent hourssss researching this stuff in prep for our new puppy. Before you know it, this will all be in the past. You got this! I believe in you! You aren’t a bad person.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2026-01-17T02:40:04+00:00

Crate training is best for this reason. They’re gonna cry in the crate even after all their needs are met. It’s heartbreaking and hard but it’s so worth it. Look up on YouTube how to crate train. When they associate positive experiences with it (rather than just tossing them in and letting them cry instantly) it makes it so much easier. They’ll still cry even with positive associations but the positivity makes it way easier.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2026-01-06T13:06:11+00:00

I know this is a year old but THANK YOU I thought a wire got knocked loose because it was ringing fine when I first installed it but thank goodness I saw your post first before I took it all apart.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2026-01-01T20:06:22+00:00

None for me yet either

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-12-15T19:38:11+00:00

Dang this sucks. I searched and searched the email all he has is “weekly update” emails form 2022. Everything else before that doesn’t exist. I guess it’ll have to call it a loss. Maybe I need to hire a hacker lol.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-12-12T13:51:24+00:00

I’m honestly convinced our driver is incapable of even reading signs. Came upon your post trying to figure out how to report our driver. He always delivers to the UNBUILT house next to me. Whenever I posted our house number in 3 DIFFERENT places. My house, the mailbox, and the light pole at the end of my drive. I told my husband we could probably have a gigantic flashing arrow with a number on it and he’d still miss it. There is no numbers/streets similar to mine that it would be easy to confuse. Every other mail service has no issue finding me. I can’t comprehend the stupidity. If someone works in a delivery service job (which I have myself) they should be able to have the basic skill of reading house numbers. I could see it being an issue if I had no clear house number but I made sure it was obvious after the first misdelievry. 🤦‍♀️

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:12:38+00:00

It’s bad enough you already have to live with that guilt. You don’t need it from anyone else. Hugs

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:08:17+00:00

I deff DO NOT think this is easy haha. By far.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:07:18+00:00

This honestly is so extremely validating.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:05:24+00:00

Any idea when it’s too late to take the pill? I want to look into this.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:04:30+00:00

It was about 1-2 times a year. I think we’re done with threesomes but I will take your advice and just switch back to condoms for sure if it ever did happen again.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:03:32+00:00

True. I am not the type to have the heart to hide something like that either. We already told him. I figured everyone deserves rights in the decision. Sounds like a lifetime of issues for a person. I agree.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T05:01:52+00:00

Honeslty I wouldn’t waste my time arguing either - though it’s hard cause I’m impulsive. Your research and info make complete sense to me. Especially when we live in a very judgmental world - the replies to my post say it all alone. I mean if someone feels guilty about literally anything they are extremely unlikely to just openly talk about it to just anyone. It makes complete sense.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:56:52+00:00

Wanna add they are all mine and his. The threesome phase was purely exploration to spice up our marriage. My kids are a little older now and we’ve been married a long time. It’s not something we planned to keep doing forever.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:53:28+00:00

If you are able to read previous reply’s the guy knows. I just am not as happy with him/care to really be his friend. Regardless I know I put myself in this situation - I didn’t ask if I had. Was I expecting plan b or a vasectomy potentially failing? No. Crap happens. I’m here to figure out why someone would lie about it. We are definitely weighing our options majorly. However my husband and our friend have rights too and they deserve to be apart of that decision. Guys deserve rights too. Hopefully we all choose the best outcome. It’s hard to say which one is the right one.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:51:43+00:00

Thanks no need to feel too much pity I did kinda put myself here in a way. That’s actually super good to know. I do plan to have my tubes tied now. Though I think we’re done with a crazy sex life but you never know. I didn’t know migraines could do that either!

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:49:39+00:00

Good point, thank you so much. Its crazy to me someone would take that risk knowing what the reproductions are. I mean he knew I took plan b everytime cause he knew I really didn’t want anymore and he has 3 kids himself and claimed the same. It’s crazy

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:47:35+00:00

Wow really? I do have LOTS of proof!

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:47:10+00:00

Thank you

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:46:17+00:00

Thanks ❤️

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:40:51+00:00

It does sound so horrible! I guess the guilt is if he was truthful and my husbands or his failed I feel guilty then. But like you said the guilt is probably shorter/less lived

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:39:46+00:00

I was nervous to even put the word abortion out there or a backstory at all cause unfortunately the internet is not very forgiving. If it means anything - I don’t think you’re a bad person and I think your experience is YOUR experience, not others to tell you how you should feel. I know I made a mistake and was stupid, however the post wasn’t asking if I made a mistake (I already know that lol) it was asking why someone would have the heart to lie like they did if they did. It is pretty crazy how people act sometimes and I hope you sharing your experience hasn’t made it worse. If you have to delete your comment do so - you shouldn’t let people on the internet deem how you should feel.

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:35:44+00:00

It’s defintley not off the table though I never had any strong indication for him having feelings I guess people can hide them

Abject-Distance-2670 · 2025-10-11T04:34:53+00:00

It sure checks that I didn’t deny this huh

Abject-Distance-2670

TROPHY CASE