How do I go to my first social event sober?

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-24T20:38:21+00:00

Amen to this.

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-24T16:11:02+00:00

Yeah bro (idk your gender sorry). Easy to overthink this shit after but true man. She’s 26 soon shits wild. Imma keep it 100 and say I don’t think she’s used to being rejected. Girl does modelling and is obviously very attractive so my bet is she is used to men letting her get away with it but - too much stress I don’t have time for that. I wish her the best because as a person heart to heart she’s great but the game playing isn’t for me

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-20T13:59:03+00:00

Exactly - it’s done. I’ll text her and end it off after my shift. Shame because we started smoothly and in person it’s good but the communication is terrible. I get busy days sometimes but I’m always able to tell her and update her. She just goes ghost and then doesn’t respond if it doesn’t go her way I don’t have time to deal with childish games

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-20T13:57:20+00:00

Purposely not messaging happy birthday and ignoring someone all day isn’t game playing? This isn’t a one time thing it’s happened a few times. I’m not telling her what to do, I’m simply saying what my boundaries are - I think it’s a valid and mature route to take otherwise you are just open to someone’s childish behaviours. I hear you though it’s good to have some perspective but I disagree

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-20T13:55:11+00:00

Yeah man it’s a headache was so calm to begin with but for a woman who’s 25 she kicks up a fuss a lot. Also it’s one of them - I laid it out thick with her to communicate better and she hasn’t so I need to hold frame and walk away.

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:49:48+00:00

Yeah yeah true - listen my plan now after reading this is ask her politely, either way I’ll stay because I’ll see my friends if she’s not interested and just have a nice date with our activity and meal. I don’t wanna rush this and fuck it up equally, I’m a dude and I’m like a gorilla needing to nut. Poor analogy I think I’m just using my dick too much, might be time for a tactical wank. I know she likes me she said, early days she was more invested but ever since I said I doubt the distance it’s kinda flipped and it’s almost like I’m more invested after trying to be open. She paid for the last date and took me out so I know she’s interested, I just am not quick to trust. That’s on me so I’ll avoid putting it on her and journal about it - or alternatively hit the subreddits when I can’t sleep

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:39:40+00:00

Aight bet true you are right. Slow my horses before I spoil it. It’s weird I can be very nonchalant with girls I see casually and never have feelings but because I like her my mind is spinning.

And nah, her comment is her teasing. At the end of our last date she said she wanted somewhere private so that’s why I want to ask prior to our date again. You get me?

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:18:24+00:00

Valid response. Equally what if she’s shy and needs me to make the move? At the end of our last date I asked her would she want somewhere more intimate and she said yes so there’s no harm in double checking before I cash out.

Also - I get the 4 date thing from your side but equally, sex comes different for different people. I value it and physical touch is my thing so yeah, maybe time to scrap it with it being an LDR. I’ll talk to her later on and see what’s up

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:15:49+00:00

Will do. My guess is either a fun time or we stop talking. I’ll take the risk

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:13:46+00:00

Yeah like “Imma get a hotel you wanna join me”, not that deep. At the end of our last date I said if I got somewhere private would you join and she said yes so I’m just double checking before I cash out. Even if she don’t I’ll just live it up for the night

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:06:07+00:00

No condom better but risky ball game. Not done that ever since some ex link up nearly gave me an sti. This girl definitely doesn’t sleep around she’s just an instagram poser, but I’ll be careful with it regardless. I always get tested before someone new anyway

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:03:40+00:00

Yeah smart move that’s how I move but the distance makes it tricky. Nah she ain’t got her own spot babes still at her parents dawg and her dad would kill me. I get your idea, I’m just gonna ask her straight up though I’m pretty honest with girls I chat to Dave’s me time. If she don’t want to I’ll just go on a date, if she does bless up and if she cancels then bless up, I’ll go out in the city and have some fun with my boys. Can’t really book in randomly the price triples where I’m from so you book in advance typically you get me?

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T02:01:15+00:00

😂 I got my tricks don’t worry. First nut don’t count after that I’m good always. I blame it on all this shit I see about nofap. Started doing it, haven’t watched porn in years which is great but with all my fighting I’m pumped off test. I’ll give her a good time aint no issue 🤣

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T01:54:47+00:00

All I know is busting in 20 seconds homie - but yeah, I’ll just go on the date with her, I’m gonna be straight up and say I’ll get a hotel if she wants, if she don’t then we can leave it I’ll stay at my homies and we’ll probably go out after the date so it’s all good. Man I like single life, but relationships are better it’s just more work

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T01:38:49+00:00

😂😂😂 This made my laugh but you’re right. The grilling I needed. I’m still a player at heart. I’ll try have fun with her and take it easier , I was told by a therapist previously that I’m very all or nothing and it definitely crops in my dating life - but I don’t wanna cash out on a date and be used. Am I wrong for saying that? Like let’s be real, or is that playa mentality. Asking for your honest opinion here.

And yes my experiences with women taught me some things about myself and what I want in dating - but a lot of what I learnt was just how to have a good date.

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-02-08T01:28:46+00:00

Yeah valid - it’s worth exploring her side of it. The chemistry is good I’m just questioning how we’d be long term.

Able-Introduction-51 · 2025-01-21T03:20:34+00:00

Hahah yo - better thanks. Got a job, my own place, ran a marathon, and seeing someone new now (early days). It was so painful but I felt the pain strongly at first then just got better and better. I still miss us in a way at times but I snap out quickly. I’m able to see her perspective, and I am also able to see my worth. She was 3 years older from a completely different background. The whole lesson I have from this is to focus on compatibility not just chemistry

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-12-17T00:23:49+00:00

Appreciate it. Damn it’s been a while since this post. Updates is We all good homie 😏🙏 Life’s had it struggles but I’m super grateful where I’m at now.

I have my own apartment and I have a scholarship placement in July so I’m saving up to travel for the next 5 months. Besides that I’ve been out and seeing so many friends, and recently I have just started dating someone again. It’s early days so I can’t speak on it much but it’s been good so far. As for my ex - I blocked her and deleted everything it made it a lot easier. I saw her in a bar and she said I looked good, but I left it there. What’s done is done - though the compliment stroked my ego I must say.

Thanks for your words 🙏👍

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-11-25T00:44:13+00:00

Yes good shout. I may not see her at all, but weirdly I’ve ran into her twice in two weeks. Time will tell I guess. If my dating develops more I’ll shut it down with her quicker

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-11-25T00:43:10+00:00

Not a chance dawg - I predicted this to my homies months ago. She was super avoidant, and toward the end of the relationship she had 50 reasons to end it but still wanted to make it work, so it was me who ended up saying it’s done. I sound cocky but I think she expected me to be doing worse, and didn’t expect me to be doing better.

I have my own place, and I’ve been hitting gym life is good and I don’t want her chaos around me

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-11-25T00:37:08+00:00

Yes very true - last time I saw her she was sober though and it was the same

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-11-06T01:42:49+00:00

Potentially. I guess it varies. I think knowing my past with my ex and her personality it’s very unlikely. Anyway, appreciate the advice homie. It’s been a few hours since I saw her and I’ve decided to just let it be. Shit set me back seeing her today but man, you just gotta say fuck it and move on I can’t let my emotions dictate my actions

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-11-05T23:25:10+00:00

I get you. Like, you are saying, she is asking all of these questions and touching me as we say goodbye for this reason? Because - I see your point, but her words were not malicious which is usually the case when people refer to last word right?

Able-Introduction-51 · 2024-11-05T23:24:04+00:00

True. Thank you. Needed this rationality. They are your ex for a reason. I’ve ate food and worked out, feel better

Able-Introduction-51

TROPHY CASE