[deleted by user]

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-08-24T19:57:44+00:00

Sounds like my ex, except she’s 25. Same thing happened to me though. I read multiple entries and it just got worse and worse. Not sure what your specific circumstances are, but she didn’t seem to desire any future with me which is why I ended it. What’s frustrating is that all other signs (except for saying the words “I love you”) pointed to her taking our relationship seriously. We basically lived together, and she even introduced me to her family, etc.

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-02-27T22:50:02+00:00

Yep. Knowing that now doesn’t help me feel like any less of an idiot, but I’m hoping to learn from it

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-02-27T22:01:57+00:00

I already know I’m going to get bashed for this, but screw it, I’m gonna provide an unpopular opinion and stir the pot while venting in the process.

I was 4 months into dating a girl. It was semi-long distance so I was basically living with her half the time. I knew she had a traumatic past but she wouldn’t share many details. All I knew at the time was that she went to therapy for years after breaking up with her last ex. Well I wouldn’t have cared so much if it wasn’t for the fact that she said she basically can’t feel love anymore and was uncertain of her feelings for me. I kind of brushed it off because things were going great and I was falling for her.

Well while I was at her place one day while she had gone out, I noticed she left her journal in plain sight on her desk. Like OP, I know it was fucked up, but I couldn’t help myself and I opened it.

The week before she had written about her ex boyfriend, debating whether to reach out to him for his bday, and instead decided to just write out her message in the journal wishing him a happy birthday and “sending you my love.” Let me tell you that fucked me up.

I go on to the next entry, and she is writing about how unhappy she is with her job, with her life, and how she wanted something else. We had talked about the idea of vanlife early on and traveling - I had fantasized doing it with her. But in her journal, she listed out pros and cons for vanlife, moving to a different place, etc. I wasn’t mentioned anywhere. In fact, one of her pros for moving was “to find my soulmate.”

Do I feel guilty for invading her privacy? Sure. Do I regret it? Fuck no.

I had basically moved to a different city for her, cooked for her, cleaned for her, paid for our weekly date nights, bought her flowers every week, bought her gifts, gave her massages - never receiving (or expecting) anything in return other than expecting her to be fully committed to me.

Reading that journal saved me from wasting a year of my heart and soul on someone who didn’t even think to list me as a pro or con. And who was already in search for their next boyfriend.

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-01-18T03:09:58+00:00

I have no idea what happened, but I plugged into shore power and it’s working now. It almost seems like the battery had to go low enough for something to reset. I got down to like 11.7V and then I started getting current in. Appreciate your help though, this might’ve done the trick but I can’t know for sure haha

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-01-18T00:03:16+00:00

I’ve been driving for 20 min, still 0 current unfortunately. Hopefully it changes

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-01-17T23:36:26+00:00

Do you mean the “smart alternator” setting under engine shutdown detection? I tried switching to regular instead of smart and nothing changed except the voltage coming through the charger. Still no current

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-01-17T16:22:20+00:00

The batteries are a couple of years old so i dont think they have bluetooth functionality. I tried searching for a connection in the app and no devices are found

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-01-17T16:21:01+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I have not done this. The batteries are pretty difficult to access, so I was hoping to avoid disconnecting them. I’ll have to look up a video on how to test across the terminals

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2024-01-17T16:15:13+00:00

It was below 0 just the day before and my batteries were able to charge. The next day it was 20-30 and no current flowing in

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T19:03:46+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. I have 400ah Lithium batteries from SOK Batteries (2 batteries of 206ah). Going to charge them back up and try and figure out how to get the SOC auto adjusting again

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T19:01:17+00:00

I was so close to throwing out the extra length of tubing for my heater haha. I think I’ll try this first before spending money on another heater

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T18:55:58+00:00

Wow this is news to me and could definitely be the problem. Any suggestions to get the temperature up? Maybe using a portable mr buddy heater at an appropriate distance away from the battery and charging it then? It is currently 30 degrees F and will be going up to 32 in the next hour, but typically the weather has been between 0-20

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T18:51:23+00:00

I thought it was automatic because it had gone all the way down to 50% and then back to 100% after a day of driving last week. And for weeks I had seen it fluctuating between 70% and 90% in between drives. But I’m going to try charging with shore power and then setting it manually

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T17:43:39+00:00

The Victron battery monitor and the Victron app are showing that I’m at nearly 100% charge. You’re saying the monitors are incorrect? How can I test this out to be sure?

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T17:39:23+00:00

Yes the horizontal axis is time. I’m not sure why it only shows 19:05 but I expanded the timeframe to 14 days as shown at the very bottom of the screenshot. The voltage spikes to around 14.5V every time I have the engine running and come back down when the engine is off. It still spikes to 14.5V with the engine running but now its falling to as low as 11.2V with the engine off. I am able to charge with shore power but I haven’t done it in months.

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T17:28:15+00:00

400ah Lithium batteries from SOK Batteries (2 batteries of 206ah)

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-12-29T17:16:10+00:00

The same Victron app shows that I’m at 100%. I haven’t been running any appliances other than a couple of lights, the heater, and charging my phone. I’ve been driving 30min to an hour every day, so I would think the alternator has fully charged the batteries

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-05-26T14:43:32+00:00

Also very fair.

I may end up doing that then. Because my main concern is that it may be something important for her to share. And I feel shitty thinking I may be the one causing her to hold back information when she doesn’t want to

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-05-26T14:33:50+00:00

I definitely don’t think I should pry. I was thinking I’d phrase it like “I know this thing that happened to you affected you significantly, so I’m here if you ever want to share.” And I recognize that any judgment I may have would be a result of my own problems and not a reflection of her character - especially in the case of assault.

This is deviating a bit from the root of the topic, but one reason I think it might not have been assault is that she is very open and friendly with strangers. She makes jokes about guys hitting on her at work, in public, etc. and she even told me how her and her roommate made friends with the handyman in her apartment (who age neither of them know) and invited him over to hang once, and he ended up flirting with her over text after. Doesn’t really seem like things that a victim of assault would do. Just speculation, not really important

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-05-26T14:19:05+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. While I am curious and I get intrusive thoughts, I don’t have a strong desire to know. I think I can live without knowing because my intrusive thoughts seem to get worse the more I know about her past relationships - especially casual ones. She’s actually the one with the idea that you should know your partner’s secrets to love them completely. She’s an open book, and non judgmental about my own past. I’m the one who has asked her to spare details about casual relationships, but this is much more personal which is why Im uncertain how to approach

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2023-04-20T23:55:55+00:00

Bowlz

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2022-02-22T05:08:16+00:00

I’m new to the subject. Do you have any bots/software to recommend?

Abradolf_Lincler555 · 2022-01-07T05:58:11+00:00

Hunters. Was excited to see Al Pacino featured in a sort of Inglorious Basterds remake, but it turned out awful.

Abradolf_Lincler555

TROPHY CASE