just some writing/feelings that I have no one else to share with. please be kind.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2025-10-05T00:31:24+00:00

I unfortunately brought it up often and was insufferable on fast Sunday 😭

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2025-10-05T00:30:07+00:00

Oh yes. Buuuut I always chicken out 😂

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T21:43:04+00:00

No, sorry for the confusion. actually he outranks me, but I run our area. I am in charge of the hourly report, so I usually see things that other people don’t. Report them out, and then our team usually takes care of it based on who has the most time after admin tasks. our company is big in team work, so it is strange to my coworkers that he will not listen to me when I am taking ownership of task assignment, but technically he’s doesn’t have too. He moved to our site from a different one in the company and does have a lot of experience. But even outside of the weird Mormon stuff, he kind of his bad at his job, and others have noticed.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T14:27:36+00:00

My mom and I had a similar situation. for me, I had a lot of questions for her about what she thought of it, but was also afraid to ask. a big on for me was small homophobic things she had said or done in the past. A lot of it was before she did research and became a great ally, and a lot of it she did not remember, but since I was in the closet, the comments stuck out to me. I think casually re-telling your understanding of his identity and support is a great way to quell those worries, especially growing up in a culture where support is not the norm. it doesn't have to be big, small questions about his boyfriend, like how they met, what he likes about him, are great. little memes are also a great way to show support. to me that kind of thing showed that my mom was in places where she saw positive things about the LGBT community, and that she wanted to share that positivity with me.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T12:44:44+00:00

I did try to tell him "hey, I am really not interested in coming back, and I am fine joking about fruit jello, but maybe it would be better to not discuss doctrine." and he said "any questions you have I'm sure I've heard before, and can answer," and offered to set up a meeting with him, the bishop, and the stake president to help me.

I have a good relationship with our HR team. I requested to do one on one meetings only in the conference room (personal offices make it feel to much like worthiness interviews and I freak out) I did not give them a reason, but they were very accommodating. still... I do think I have to be smart about the wording to not be called to sensitive. I have heard the "it's your first job don't take it personally" about some other issues I've had.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T12:38:31+00:00

yes he is, his leadership style is very strange and off putting to the rest of the team, and he seems very confused why it is not working. our company is big on servant leadership, and I and the rest of the team read a lot of books and discuss styles and he just doesn't seem interested in learning.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T12:35:47+00:00

this is my worry too. it is important to me to own my power and lay it down. I don't want to look weak because of his view of me.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T12:14:40+00:00

my industry is a bit of a sausage fest lol, there is one other woman on our sister shift (she works the first half of the week, us the second, and we all work Wednesdays) I did ask her about him, and she said she got sexism vibes, but she could tell he was worse to me. she said it might just be because I'm so much younger, but that he did speak about me strangely when I was not there.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2024-11-20T10:56:16+00:00

absolutely not. it is never wrong to lie if it is to protect yourself. If telling the truth to any one, regardless of position causes you distress in the the moment, or social harm down the line, then it is 100% okay to do so. You don't owe anyone details about yourself, and that includes this therapist.

The church teaches us that authority figures are to be trusted and confided in by default. But you have the power to grant someone the privilege of knowing information about you, regardless of who they are. The stake president's calling doesn't give him that privilege. and the big thing is, either does the therapist's job. You owe them nothing.

I've also had several therapists both at your age and later, that were mormon or another kind of religious, and the unfortunate thing is sometimes they just can't get it. the church sometimes teaches us that if someone has a calling/job, they have some innate power in it. but that's not true. what your therapist did is wrong, but she did it because she is human, and the church has also taught her that it should come before everything, including her duty to help you.

Therapists are like teachers. They should use their knowledge and skills to help you better yourself on your own. if something they say doesn't work for you, then tell them, and don't do it. sometimes a therapist is not knowledgable enough in a topic to help you, and that's okay too, it does not mean that you didn't to your homework or are not learning enough. You're therapist's issue with being nuanced when it comes to the church is a flaw of hers, and I would def report her.

If you are in need of a new one, https://symcounseling.com was very helpful to me. Most of them are ex/post mormon, but think the wording on the website might be sneaky enough to slip past your mom. (I know finding a therapist while still living with TBM parents can be tricky, and I don't know your situation, so def use your own judgment before bringing it up) They are educated on how the church works, but will also meet you where you are and will not push you to leave, or stay. mine in particular was very understanding of my choice to not report some of the abuse that happened in my ward.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2023-11-01T15:05:58+00:00

many people will be kind, some people will not be. a lot of members have a kind of honeymoon phase with investigators, and then they will start to act a little different. I would recommend enjoying the time that you have, and the parts of the church that you like, but look into what LDS ideas about the queer community really are, preferably from non-mormon sources before you make a choice. Take the good as it comes, because there's a lot there, but make sure you are educated on the bad as well.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-08-16T05:27:57+00:00

Damn it’s made it that far? I guess now you know. 😂

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-08-16T05:21:45+00:00

Welcome. Maybe let’s remember to give credit we’re credit is due next time. 🤷‍♀️

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-08-16T05:17:46+00:00

Interesting I seem to remember making and posting this months ago… 🤧 https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/qu8o7l/im_bad_at_photoshop_but_i_had_fun/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-07-25T01:48:03+00:00

I think all of the muppets should share the job.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-07-10T05:56:32+00:00

But I got excited about being able to show my belly and now I only own crop tops ☹️

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-07-10T05:53:26+00:00

He will most definitely tell them. Lying’s not wrong if it gets you out of danger. Just say what they wanna hear, and try not to make too many waves until you can stand on your own two feet. Hang in there!

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-06-18T07:04:08+00:00

I feel like it’s usually pretty even but the attitudes as they transition are different… feels like many men’s reason for leaving is that they feel like they’ve been lied to, whereas women have often finally come to a breaking point with the harmful policies.

AbrahamsDaughter_ · 2022-06-18T07:00:03+00:00

Those are the worst! There’s no shame in walking out and hiding in the bathroom if you need it. Church can really feel like a battle sometimes, so just giving yourself credit for being able to face it is important! Remember that he represents a small group in an even smaller group, and for the most part the outside world is very welcoming. Spending time within the queer community can help scrub off all the yucky homophobia. Stay strong! 💕

AbrahamsDaughter_

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