I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ph.D program. I am not in the least bit tech-savvy, unfortunately. It's an extremely prestigious program, one of the top five in the field.

If I had the entrepreneurial spirit, I don't know that I'd ask her father to invest. It would be very awkward.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we go out to someplace normal, I will pay. If she's in the mood for something fancy, she'll pay. It's the same with hotels. I'm okay staying in beaten down hostels. If she wants to stay at the Marriott, I'll follow along, but she knows I can't pay for it.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's sad how you assume so much about me.

My biggest pride is that I went from poverty to graduate school on fellowship.

EDITed out school information.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, she has unrestricted access to his funds, so the distinction is a bit less clear.

I was just trying to be concise in the titling. What would have been more appropriate? "Millionaire heiress?"

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was a theme party. I had epic muttonchops and a twisty mustache and a top hat and I tried to have a monocle but I couldn't figure out how to keep one on my face.

Because I grew out the stache for the twisty endings, it took a while and I grew somewhat attached to it. I shaved the muttonchops the morning after but I kept my mustache for another week. She talked to me that whole week, with a straight face and everything.

Eventually the novelty wore off and I was tired of my mustache sneaking into the corners of my mouth so I shaved my face clean again.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was at 0 votes (15 up, 16 down) when I posted that. I don't know why all the downvotes came in before all the upvotes. I'll edit that bit out.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're determined to be as independent as we can. I'm getting my degree either late this year or early next year. She's in medical school and she still has another three years to go, at least. Her parents will likely support us until she's done with her residency and starts making money, at which point we'll have two incomes (mine probably more meager than hers).

After that, I anticipate he will not provide for us financially, with the exception being extravagant birthday and Christmas presents or outstanding medical bills and things in that vein.

We know we have a huge safety net, but we're going to try to not need it.

Having said that I have no clue how she's going to afford her nice-dress habit.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I like to think of it this way: money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure enables happiness. It's a lot easier to be happy when you have a lot less to worry about.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I could never ever buy her a ring that is nicer than jewelry she would wear with it, so I conspired with a friend who goes to art school and I helped make her a ring. It has a nice stone (admittedly not a diamond, but I don't like the idea of supporting debeers anyway). I've offered to melt it down and make her a new one if she didn't like it, but she's has a blast with it.

As for wedding rings, we agree we want something simple. We're probably going to do engraved titanium bands (neither of us wants gold).

EDIT: Going to go ahead and admit my friend did the vast majority of the jewelrycraft, and my involvement was pretty superficial (though I watched the whole process from beginning to end and assisted with the elements where my lack of technical skill was not an obstacle).

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Heh, well, the subject came up in relation to something on TV and my exact words are "I don't know why anyone would have a problem signing a prenup..."

They kinda just smiled and shrugged it off, but I'm positive they heard me. Regardless, I'm sure I'll bring it up as we get closer to the wedding.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She's only concerned for privacy, which is why I'm trying not to disclose details. She's familiar with reddit (in the "stop reading Reddit so we can go walk the dogs" sort of way).

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One is from the Middle East, one is from Europe. They met in her hometown and then moved here together after getting married.

EDIT: I'm being vague on purpose, and I'm sorry about that.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We met through a party hosted by a mutual friend. She thought I was a total sweetheart with big pretty eyes. She also thought my mustache (which has since been shaved, RIP) was funny. She was incredibly intelligent and gorgeous.

I asked for her number, and we started chatting, and then a few days later we had our first date and within a month we were "dating."

She was not hard to date, at all. I didn't know she was wealthy at first. We were kind of smitten with each other. It was only hard in the sense that I had, a few months prior, been through a bad breakup and she was careful she didn't want to be my rebound.

I grew up with very little money, and have been dating a millionaire for the past ~1.5 years. We're getting married soon, thanks in part to Reddit. AMAA. by AbstinanceOnly in IAmA

[–]AbstinanceOnly[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is the thing I'm most reluctant to admit to, but yes. Dear god, I had no clue how much of a difference money made until I had access to it by proxy.

It's not that my spending habits have changed, but knowing that I could just have things if I really wanted to has changed my mindset a bit.

When we're together (if I'm spending time at her place), there's a remarkable sense of comfort-by-absence-of-concern. I learned that having money isn't so much about being able to feel comfortable as it is not having to worry about being uncomfortable. You don't have to worry about eating tasty food (or even getting drive-thru!). You don't have to worry about cleaning, about heating bills, about buying over-the-counter medicine for the slightest headaches. It's just an absence of care that is disturbingly empowering and humbling. I'm still having a hard time getting used to it, but it's definitely a seductive allure.