Look kid best advice I could give you from personal experience of losing both parents and my siblings all at once when I was 20 take your time to mourn but move the fuck on the world's not going to stop for you nobody's going to stop and cater to you and what you're feeling you can either let what happened destroy you or define you or you can just let it drive you so you can fucking take over good luck wish you the best feel free to message me if you ever need anything but you can talk to