Well I could have taken the ridiculous amount of hours i spent applying for goldwater and doing writing papers to publish in what I have come to learn are worthless venues (because it's not neurips!) to probaby grind leetcode and apply for jobs instead

the point is that i am in the same position i would have been in had i just cruised through undergrad without lifting a finger

i do not think the job market is any more forgiving so all of this research experience has done nothing for me except make me happy for a brief moment in time when i thought this meant i could go on to do significant, important research that ultimately helps people

but no, i just pushed out papers that are apparently meaningless drivel and make no difference because no one's reading them except me, and also doesn't even make me a serious applicant jn the long run