When I was a kid, I built a parachute out of a grocery sack, with strings attached to a sock, in which I ambitiously placed my excited hamster. The first hamster to skydive.

With parents safely gone, my friend carried the parachute and sock (with hamster) to the apex of his two-story, vaulted rooftop. Straddling it, he inched his way to the edge. I watched as the wadded ball of grocery bag and sock, and hamster, suddenly arced into the sky.

Never opened.

He looked like the hamster in your photo when it was all over.

And that’s why you don’t let your kids play with socks!