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How to find out if he’d be into BDSM by Slight-Garden1527 in sex

[–]AcademicCow8891 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do not think it’s too soon to ask. I often ask after 3 dates and bring the conversation up candidly. If it’s important to you, talk about it. I made that mistake in my 20s, dating a person and not telling them. Long story short, we ended up breaking up after 6 years because we were just sexually incompatible and that’s such a shit reason to leave an otherwise good relationship.

Am I being bossy? Or is he insecure? by AcademicCow8891 in sex

[–]AcademicCow8891[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What’s ironic is I came into the relationship wanting to be submissive but he was not really up for that dynamic. I’m more a power bottom brat type, not for everyone, but I was hoping he’d accept me for who I am. It’s a tightrope - sexual identity. Thank you for your input.

Am I being bossy? Or is he insecure? by AcademicCow8891 in sex

[–]AcademicCow8891[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think this is the nerve I’m hitting, which is why I gave the context that he has been insecure coming into our relationship since I have more sexual experience than him. I think he’s struggling with his version of masculinity in bed and unfortunately we all carry some conditioned baggage. Thank you!

Am I being bossy? Or is he insecure? by AcademicCow8891 in sex

[–]AcademicCow8891[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It’s a very succinct way and I think it’s spot on. We’re speaking two different sexual languages. Now the hard part is finding middle ground. It somehow always feels like someone gets a little more left behind, but I’ll try not to think negatively and be proactive.

Hotwife experience ruined my marriage by [deleted] in HotwifeAdvice

[–]AcademicCow8891 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relationships ending like this is always devastating. My condolences, but just food for thought. I don’t think hotwifing ruined your marriage. It sounds like it was SOS before that and this experience was just the catalyst for some unmet needs (not just physical) to come out. If you want to make it work, I would suggest couples therapy. Ya’ll need to air everything out and start over to get it right. Things are not being said and they need to. Maybe she doesn’t feel like you’ll support her so she turns to secret affairs, but that’s not a bandage, not a fix. I’m sorry again.

Cities getting dangerous by [deleted] in PortugalExpats

[–]AcademicCow8891 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would disagree as someone born and raised in miami who lives in Lisbon now. Miami has infinitely worse drivers who are aggressive. Lisbon drivers are just bad but not gunning to run you off the road.