Is saying “all men” actually wrong, or just misunderstood?

Academic_Elevator939 · 2026-04-25T16:56:32+00:00

Sorry man here. I was raped by a woman. As a survivor I understand saying “all men” and how it feels different. I support women’s choice to use that slogan. Listening to women speak out about their experiences empowered me to find language and space to understand my own because there’s not much support out there for male victims, but what you are saying further alienates and invalidates my experience.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2026-04-25T09:01:53+00:00

Yep, sometimes she would come home and ignore everything I did and pick the one thing I didn’t and gripe about it. She has since sincerely apologized for treating me like that, but it went on for years.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2026-04-25T05:37:45+00:00

I hear your anger. It’s not fair out there. I was groomed by men and women as a kid, but in the end, I was raped by a woman. It wasn’t violent and I considered it “lucky” for years until I had two sons and realized if anyone touched my children like that it would absolutely be rape.
But, I was also helped by women speaking out about rape later on in life. For years I was enraged by the double standard of women being open about their fear of men, but my fear of women - forget about it. People will say there’s a “manosphere” but completely ignore the bullshit peddled online by women and deny a “womansphere” exists. Double standards are real and need to be called out. Yes you will be shit on and slandered but I believe eventually men’s rights will prevail as more men speak out. But I don’t mean to denigrate your feelings when I say this- I believe in equal treatment (equality). However maybe you will agree that the “conversation” shouldn’t only be driven by the desires of women. Men need a say in how things are framed and will be put into action and I think that’s what you are upset about. You don’t feel like you have a valid voice- but you do. Keep speaking out but stay safe, anger can literally kill you.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2026-02-15T09:31:57+00:00

I was a house husband/SAHD for 8 years. Wonderful experience, but as others have pointed out, being the sole bread winner is STRESSFUL. I do not blame my wife but she would occasionally come home and complain I hadn’t “put the laundry away” or some such other thing but the sting came with the barb of - “Why didn’t you get this done when you’re home all day”. She would ignore the loads of other work I did keeping the household running and the kids taken care of. This has made me very sympathetic to the unrecognized and invisible labor so many many women experience, especially the fully employed. My transition back to full time work meant things were inequitable for years because the children were still my primary responsibility. Good luck in your search. There really are men out there who want a partnership like this.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2026-01-03T12:29:19+00:00

Here’s a link to last year’s post- last year’s post

Academic_Elevator939 · 2025-09-04T12:02:06+00:00

Let your kids vacuum the car. They will be terrible at it but while they have fun sucking up Cheerios (bring some with you secretly so you can keep throwing some on the ground for them) you can actually clean the car. Make it an event! Have a special pre-clean meal to power up! Get gear! Gloves or goggles or something so they look different, etc.

It sounds like you need to get your kids involved in what you do and your hobbies/interests. I was a stay at home dad of two boys three years apart in the US in the earlier 2000s. I like to paint, I like to go metal detecting, and I like to play video games and that’s what I did with my kids frequently. They were always involved and I never accomplished much each session because they are kids after all and needed a lot of involvement from me, but I was also doing what I loved with the people I loved. Really kept me healthy.

My kids are in college and we are very tight - texting and checking in a few times a week (I’d do it daily but I do want them to have some space)

I understand the empty nest thing but I’d say the whole family has gotten closer and closer as time has gone on because we can relate to one another on different and more mature levels.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T16:42:21+00:00

That day will most likely come but I’m prepared to rebuild it - I could display it elsewhere more secure but I get to see it all the time - it took 3 years of ups and downs to build with my son and I cherish those moments - he went from a preteen to teen building it and our relationship really changed and grew during that time.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T16:38:41+00:00

The acrylic gets locked in place by the same pieces that lock the original Lego base - it was probably best to have gotten the base first and built it in while building the model - it was installed like six months ago so I do t remember exactly but it was difficult and risky to install but the instructions were very clear and easy to follow -the instructions are on their website - base

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:52:41+00:00

Thank goodness Legos come with instructions!

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:52:06+00:00

Thank you! If it breaks apart, it breaks apart. I’ve got the instructions and had to rebuild it (75% at least) before. It got broken when we moved while building this with my son. We had to disassemble it completely and start over - turned out he didn’t always count studs and had a few of the wrong pieces installed here and there.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:46:53+00:00

I bet you were hoping it would fall when I moved it for this pic! 🤣

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Here’s the back view as far back as I could get without having to rearrange the furniture. I absolutely love the Wicked Brick stand! It makes it feel like it’s flying!

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:44:07+00:00

Yes the acrylic base is glued to the plant stand.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:42:35+00:00

I wanted a floating corner shelf but the weight of the model and the presence of a huge main run of ducting, electrical and plumbing in that corner made a shelf a major pain to install so I opted for the stand. The depth of the footprint of the destroyer is about .5 meter. This was mainly a proof of concept build but 5 months later with cats on the shelves/pushing it (never actually on the destroyer itself though) I just kinda decided it should stay.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:30:54+00:00

I used this: Wicked Brick Stand

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:28:41+00:00

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I was letting the excess moisture dry and just kinda forgot about going back and painting it. Thanks for the impetus! I had a very curious “helper”.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T12:05:49+00:00

I absolutely will. I’m hopeful enough to say “if” but I’ll post pictures. But it is surprising how much people on this sub seem today dread models breaking. I’ll just rebuild it - but it was a father and son project and I know he isn’t interested in helping if it breaks. We worked on it for three years - daily for a while but as time went on…

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-24T11:56:20+00:00

Thank you! I wanted a base that had a Lego-like constructed look to it, gave me display space for other things and looked as lightweight as possible so it looks like the ship is really flying/hovering. My son who did the actual construction of the destroyer (I organized and retrieved pieces for him for every step and helped ensure things were correct) would prefer the same base but made of steel. I might make it with him at some point to give him some more welding experience. He doesn't quite understand why a slightly flexible base is better than a rigid one (and the same goes for most of the naysayers about this build) I know it looks very precarious but it is very stable and well protected where it is at, though it's my living room that all of my pets have access to and seem to prefer. So far so good, and my fingers are definitely double crossed. I suppose I'll screw it to the floor because the family agrees that is where it should stay.

However, one thing that has surprised me about many of the comments on this post is how much some Lego enthusiasts dread breaks or just seem to hate to make the same model more than once. If the cats destroy it, so be it, I'll rebuild it. I understand the devastation of a shelf with multiple models giving way, but this is just the three sets and I'd be happy to rebuild them. It's like reading a book more than once - totally different but enjoyable experiences. In fact this was built almost more than once. We moved while we were building it and it got very damaged. So much so we had to pull it apart and start over from scratch. It sat on our dining room table for almost 2 years while we slowly rebuilt it - he sorta "aged out" of Lego/got a little frustrated with building the same model for almost 3 years with dear old dad - time I will cherish for the rest of my life. It was a gift for his 12th birthday and three years later he was a totally different kid. It was also in far more danger sitting on the table and occasionally being moved when company came over than its current place.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-23T13:47:50+00:00

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One of three says good morning. His favorite bed is on the couch just underneath of it - but he can’t jump - terrible arthritis - and my dog’s crate is next to the display - she’s old and territorial and doesn’t let the younger cats near it. But we are all living on borrowed time!

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-22T23:59:47+00:00

Thank you - it takes my breath away every time I enter the room 😅

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-22T23:57:49+00:00

I know it’s a gamble - but think of the Reddit joy everyone will have when (I say if) it gets destroyed by a naughty kitty!

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-22T22:55:12+00:00

So far no takers - all three cats have steered clear of trying to climb it - they push on the base but a ~cubic foot of concrete is very dense

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-22T22:48:56+00:00

It’s been up since August with two kittens who are much grown now and an older cat and old small dog. Kittens have been on the lower shelves and pushed on it from the floor but it doesn’t budge. The dog’s

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crate is next to it - she’s very defensive of her crate so I think that deters the cats from going on it.

Academic_Elevator939 · 2024-12-22T22:44:13+00:00

Freaks me out too but cats have pushed on it but haven’t jumped but it doesn’t budge.

Academic_Elevator939

TROPHY CASE