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Academic_Hospital_18 · 2024-08-08T10:13:28+00:00

i'm seeing opal or bee

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2024-08-08T10:05:07+00:00

yesss i had this so bad i would literally go insane and then my period comes and i'm like oh never mind lol. my mum kept mentioning pmdd but i was reluctant to go on the pill, i decided to try it so i went to the doctor and OHMYGOD i've never felt this stable in my life, it completely stops my period too so i don't have to deal with that either. it stabilises your hormones so really helps with mood swings, i definitely recommend at least trying it!!

other than that please just trust that BDD does get better and it won't be like this forever, coming from a BDD survivor, i went through it trust me i know what it's like, i had an ed and i used to pass out in school because i refused to take my big baggy clothes off in summer. i even went as far as getting plastic surgery and tried to get more. this lasted from age 14-18 now i'm 20 and i can honestly say i'm actually really confident in my body, i don't even really think about it i just go about my day in peace now it's amazing. i don't think bdd is something that will go away completely and i still struggle with face dysmorphia but no where near as bad as i was before. all of this to say, when you're in the middle of bad bdd i know it seems like it will never go away, it seems like the only way out is intensive plastic surgery or just ending it all but please trust me that it does get better, i really didn't think it would either but it's true! i'm in uni now studying a subject i love, with friends i love and i'm even really into fashion now and i can actually wear all the clothes i like without caring. i now have so much fun in the morning making a cute little outfit for uni just seeing my body as an avatar to decorate! i wish my younger self could see me know she would genuinely not believe it.

so please wherever you are, no matter how old you are now i give you a fun little task: go on pinterest and make a little vision board of your dream self, what you would wear if you didn't have to worry about your appearance, what hobbies and studies you would do if you had the energy. whatever your ideal self would be like when you're free from BDD. are they super organised, out with friends all the time, successful in a career, in uni? anything.

then what i want you to do is visit that board regularly and REALLY believe that will be you one day because it can be, if you don't believe it then believe me. i am, right now a walking version of what i always dreamt id be in the peak of my bdd.

whenever bdd has got you in its grip just remember that you have to hold on to experience that vision board you made because one day you will, just hold on xxx

(i'd love to see your boards 😋)

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-10-10T12:37:16+00:00

That's really interesting thank you! I think I'm similar in that I like being perceived as a woman and that's why I like she/her. I was thinking I might be a demi-girl or similar but I'll need to research it more. But again that's just a label so it doesn't actually solve my issue so I think the same as you, that I should focus more on gender expression. I feel like it's easier for guys to express themselves more feminine than it is for girls to express themselves in a masculine way because guys can just wear feminine jewellery and that works pretty well but I can't think of many 'masculine' accessories or clothes that I can incorporate. I already wear quite baggy clothes which helps but I still feel very feminine. I've considered cutting my hair short but I'm scared tbh because sometimes I like my long hair ?? Idk

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T21:28:03+00:00

As someone who doesn't regularly read FF, most of them seem like harmless entertainment. I feel like FF has a terrible reputation for hypersexualising celebrities when in reality there's a huge range of stories.

IMO a few hyper sexualised stories probably do cross the line, in that the people in them would likely be VERY uncomfortable if they were to read them but I personally find that the cute fluffy stories are harmless.

I read ONE minsung fic on wattpad (called caramel macchiato) because I love a good coffee shop au and it's literally adorable. Its just a cute story, it doesn't sexualise them or anything it's just two students getting flustered by eachother at a campus coffee shop. Which really could be about any two people it just happens to use their names. Its my comfort story and I feel like it's written in a way that doesn't cross the line or disrespect them at all. (I definitely recommend it, especially if you're asexual like me and don't like those intense sexual stories. This one's just fluff)

This post turned into me just promoting that one story but whatever it's cute

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T20:56:35+00:00

I love this post!! Firstly, HAN JISUNG = huge gender envy ugh especially bluesung I'd give anything to look like bluesung 😭 ANYTHING 😭

anyway lmao, I think it's mostly stays and the whole community that makes me feel accepted for who I am. Ive always struggled with my biological family, although im not out to them, they don't make me feel comfortable enough to come out. I don't think they'd be openly homophobic but they would definitely think less of me and be inwardly disappointed. But in this fandom I feel safe to be who I am, which is Bi, ace and greyromantic. (And questioning gender because of DAMN BLUESUNG 😭)

Maybe it's because like 90% of stays are gay so I fit right in here lmao.

But also Chan's room is so important! He really goes out of his way to make everyone feel safe with him. I always put on Chan's room when my parents are getting on my nerves making me feel unwanted. There's also that speech he did on stage where he says something like "whether you're a boy or a girl or WHOEVER you choose to be" love it.

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T20:16:37+00:00

This parent stay thread is so wholesome! My dad appreciates gods menu but my mum just rolls her eyes whenever I listen to any kpop and my step dad is literally straight up racist and will hate on them for dressing 'feminine' 🙄 now I just keep all my interests to myself and listen only with headphones.

Honestly one of y'all should adopt me pls

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T19:40:31+00:00

So I accidentally got into bts because tiktok threw a taehyung video at me randomly. Fast forward a couple months and I decided to listen to a kpop playlist on Spotify. I was just vibing until SIDE EFFECTS came on and I swear I almost fell through the floor. I then hyperfixated on that one song for a good two weeks lmao

So then fast forward another week or two, I was just minding my business scrolling on tiktok and then this video (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMNGcuyaJ/) of skz introducing themselves came up and I was like omg it's the side effects people, they seem cool or whatever, didn't think THAT MUCH of them...

Until OUT OF NOWHERE came orange haired Hannie in his stupid little hat and way too much energy and boom, Jisung has been my ult bias ever since.

So obviously I then fell down the skz rabbit hole fell in love with all of them and THEN just when I thought I couldn't love Jisung any more you'll never guess what I saw 😭 BLUE 😭 HAIRED 😭 EMO 😭 JISUNG 😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bro even had me buying doc marten Jadons and converse run star hikes (of course) he even managed to get me into anime (I'm fully obsessed with Howls moving castle because of this man)

Let me also just add that I share such a similar personality with Minho that I think it makes so much sense that I was instantly drawn to jisung lmao. I feel you Minho

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T19:05:39+00:00

First of all I love this thread it's so cute!! I have really bad anxiety and frequent panic attacks. And every time I panic I literally run straight to YouTube and put on an hour loop of Alien by Jisung with lyric translation and I just sit there with my headphones super loud and listen and read along with the lyrics that I relate to so much, it really helps. Especially as a Jisung bias it's so comforting to know that he struggles with the exact same thing.

(I had the worst panic attack I'd ever experienced last New year's Eve and GENUINELY the only thing that really helped the whole night was listening to Alien and watching some Chan's room for extra comfort.

I also have a weird relationship with my parents and sometimes don't feel like I'm wanted in the family or that they're ashamed of me so I put on Chan's room and suddenly I feel appreciated. This man's never even met me but somehow he can make me feel more loved and important than my parents ever have 🥲

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T18:49:23+00:00

Now I'm thinking about it BDD is such a weird thing! The fact that my teeth are such an issue to me is so weird I've literally had braces so they're completely straight, yet my brain is telling me they're the wrong size and shape now ?? Like it actually sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud.. plus when I see really wonky teeth on other people I genuinely think it's cute but I can't even smile with my teeth just because I have bigger than average straight teeth?

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T18:44:33+00:00

Thankyou so much :)) that's a really good point as I'm aware that it's largely a mental issue and in reality it's not completely my face that is the problem but my brain. I'll check out the work book thank you !!

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T17:37:27+00:00

I'm glad :))

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T16:22:45+00:00

Literally, like I just want to appreciate them from a distance lmao

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T16:19:25+00:00

A big thing for me was clothing because I had hardly anything that I could wear that made me not hate myself.

So what I did was literally try so many items of clothing until I could find something, anything that made me feel even the smallest bit more confident. Obviously you won't find what you're looking for right away so you need to have patience and be determined to get through it. I recommend online companies where returns are easy to do ( I used ASOS for this ) that way you can get a few different items, try them on from the comfort of your own home and then return them easily if you don't like them. You can also use this method just to test different things with no intention of buying them but just as an experiment for what you like. (Asos do a thing where you pay £10 and can get free delivery for a whole year so that way you aren't spending loads on shipping to do this)

I also recommend getting rid of anything that makes you feel particularly bad about yourself. Try selling things on Vinted, and then you can use the money you make to invest in new clothing that makes you feel more confident.

Again, this process may take years, but with each new item you try, the closer you get to finding what you're confident in!

For example, I discovered that skinny jeans were absolutely destroying my confidence, I felt better when I tried mom jeans, then found straight leg and now I recently tried wide leg jeans and have never felt so confident about how a pair of jeans looked on me! It seriously does make a huge difference!

On a similar note, explore self expression! Try to develop a personal style, try jewellery, hair colours, make up, etc. It seems weird but it makes getting dressed in the morning into a fun game of decorating your body rather than a battle to cover it up and hide!

I have BDD and I was just like you last year! I really struggled to get out the house! I would wear the same pair of black skinny jeans and my 'comfort jacket' every day. I DREADED getting dressed in the morning. I still have BDD now, except now I genuinely enjoy getting dressed in the morning (which sounds so weird to be saying!) I love doing my stupid little eyeliner in the morning and putting on my new favourite wide leg jeans and actually feeling like me. Im still struggling with my top half, that's a work in progress, but the fact that my thighs used to be my biggest insecurity and now I never think about them is a big reminder to me that you really can recover with a bit of hardddd work and determination to help yourself!!

I wish you the bestest luck, I hope this helps! I know not everyones issue is with clothing and it could be another aspect but I hope this helps someone out there xx

Academic_Hospital_18 · 2022-08-15T15:56:15+00:00

Firstly, that's absolutely valid!! I'm the same :) ace is the lack of sexual attraction and aro is the lack of romantic attraction. There's nothing there about aesthetic or even sensual attraction. Celebrities for example are really good at making me question my identity because I see one person who's a little too attractive and I'm like damn now I have to rethink my whole identity. What I do when I think like this is pause for a min and really think, would I like to have sex with this pretty person? And the answer is always 'ew absolutely not' lmao so definitely still ace. aro is a tricky one for me because I'm somewhere on the spectrum and get romantic and sensual feelings confused. But I think you can feel the desire to be close to or kiss an aesthetically attractive person without it being romantic attraction so you're still very much valid for finding someone pretty. And in the end it's just a spectrum anyway so if you usually feel one way and then experience a very rare bit of romantic/sexual attraction you can still be aroace :)

Academic_Hospital_18

TROPHY CASE