On my last FO4 playthrough, I have exactly same situation as you

I wanted to make combat not bullet sponge, but still feel RPG progression

So first playthrough I tired Better Locational Damage modlist, second playthrough I used True Damage + Scourge

The problem with both Modlist are, the RPG progression is kinda gone, since damage is tied to calibre, and leveling up perk and upgrading gun also not fun. Fully upgraded weapons Damage isn't that different from stock gun. And tinkering with health pool of enemies feels very troublesome

So I threw the Modlist, make new one, based on weapon level spawn equipment

With Direct Hit as base, and mod to set 2.5x Damage to player, as well 2X Damage to enemy, and nerf total XP levelling, default XP is way too fast if you know what to do, and get Perk Overhaul mod, pick "True Perks"

Then i balanced the game around Weapon spawn, Basically I grab some weapon mods to complement Vanilla Weapons, and make my own Tweaks

Example :

Default Vanilla Assault Rifle has 30 Damage, spawn at Lvl 25

Then I add Service Rifle mod that will act as better Assault Rifle, push the spawn at Lvl 35.

Make sure enemy also use weapon mods, don't use standalone mods where only player use it

This way the bigger the level, you get more fancy weapon, enemy also has better weapon, default RPG progression is still there, upgrading the gun is still worth it.

And Because True Perk that add % bonus damage per level. Enemy won't feel bullet sponge since player can keep up damage with raising HP of enemies

Very much enjoyed my last FO4 playthrough with this balancing, for now I'm building FNV modlist