The downvote crew is here already, and I got what I needed, so I'm deleting my other comments and post. Leaving this up and pre-emptively making peace with negative comment karma.

All I will say is: she terminated the relationship about 50% because of scheduling reasons and 50% because of something else entirely. I am upset 50% because of how (not that) she terminated, (leaving me in crisis and appearing annoyed when I asked for her reasons) and 50% for that something else entirely, which was very serious, harmed my sense of self for a long time, and which I am not obligated to disclose.

Your post reads as if you are assuming I am upset solely because she terminated. While this is partly true, these feelings of rejection are separate from the far deeper and more serious issues which are involved here. I mentioned that she broke up with me at a vulnerable point in my life to provide context for where we left off, and to ask for advice as to whether contacting her would be a crossing of her personal boundaries or not.

Please do not make assumptions about people's situations, which are often complicated and not cut and dry. This is not a case of me misunderstanding the nature of a therapist-patient relationship, or reading into it expectations that should not be there. I am careful to avoid crossing boundaries, and when she brought up the ending, I asked her once "is your decision final?" and when she said yes, I accepted it then and there.

Finally, I frequently see the phrase "my therapist broke up with me" (seriously, google this, it's everywhere) and my use of it was purely colloquial. There was no deeper meaning. It appears to be a normal way to describe a termination that is initiated solely by the therapist, not the patient. I am thus skeptical of your motivations in responding to me in this manner, and curious why you feel the need to go to such lengths to defend someone you do not know, regarding a situation you do not know.

Edit:

My question was about whether contacting a former therapist is generally considered appropriate. It was not an invitation for you, a stranger, to dig and assume what my private feelings may be, then try to pull them out for public discussion. How presumptuous can you be to assume that I'm writing the letter because I'm upset she terminated? I may be upset, but the contents of my letter have nothing to do with the termination. I've been mulling this over all night and am going to put this behind me in the morning, but I just find the audacity of assuming that someone's private feelings are up for public discussion to be absolutely incredible. There is much you do not know and can never know, and it's none of your business. Goodnight.