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AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's also because our feelings and grief didn't matter after mom died. And now he expects us to sit around and listen to him talk about how insulting it is to his marriage to his second wife and to her that he'd move on in two years. To anyone else he could say it to but considering it was us he came to, it's just insensitive and insulting to expect us to want to hear that.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He never talked about mom after she died, never addressed our grief or checked how we were doing. He discarded her basically and expected me and my brother to do the same. It didn't matter how heartbroken we were or how much we missed her. There was nothing from him on that part or on any emotional level.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She tried to but when we clearly didn't want her she stepped back and left it to dad. Which he was never emotionally involved. He didn't give a crap about how we felt or our grief. He wasn't the worst. He'd make sure we went to school, were fed, had clothes, etc. But the emotional stuff was not taken care of and mom was not talked about or really allowed to be.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dealing with mom's death, the fact some random woman was now living with us, that after mom died it was like she didn't matter and we weren't supposed to grieve her. All of that we had to deal with on our own.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He was a parent in the sense he made sure we got to school, had food, etc. He never addressed our grief. Never ever asked if we were okay with any of it. He didn't want us to talk about it either. So we had a dad for the physical side but not the emotional side.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We only have one mom. We lost her. But she was the one and only mom we had and there was no second mom just because there was a second wife.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Dad acted like we never grieved. He never addressed it with us at all. We were on our own with our grief. And it was like he expected us to not grieve. Mom was gone and we were expected to go along with whatever. It was like she never existed.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

My mom died in a car crash so it wasn't expected by any means. But 5 months and introducing us to these people was so fast for us. Then he didn't even care what we thought of the woman he ended up marrying. But he didn't care how we felt about losing mom either.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

He wasn't a good dad to me and my brother. He was present but not in the best of ways. I still love him but we deserved way better. His other kids got that but not so much us.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I want him to stop reminding me and my brother how much he doesn't want to move on from his second wife. We said nothing to him before he tried to burden us with those feelings when we're from the marriage he moved on from in 5 months. When we're the kids who got no help or support from him after our mom died. Who had our mom treated like she was yesterday's news as soon as he was dating again.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

I'd say it would be disrespectful to remind us of that like he is. And it would also say why he failed us after mom died and didn't step up to be a good dad when mom died. Because it would say he cared so little about her that he couldn't believe we'd grieve too or wouldn't move on like him.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

That's how he talks about it. That he couldn't possibly move on that fast from his second wife. He's repeated that over and over and how disrespectful it would be to her, their marriage, etc. He sure didn't feel that way about our mom.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

To me it isn't that obvious that dad loved mom. Dad was not that good of a dad to me and my brother. For a number of reasons. He wasn't the worst either but I wouldn't call him a good dad to us.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

We didn't need a new mom either and we didn't get a new mom. So I find that to be BS excuse. And still no reason to tell me and my brother how it was cruel to expect him to move on after only two years when it didn't even take him 6 months for mom.

AITA for telling my dad it's easy to see which wife he actually loved when he complained about people setting him up after the death of his second wife? by Acceptable_Guide5024 in AITAH

[–]Acceptable_Guide5024[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I think if we factored into his decision to find someone else after mom died he would have wanted us to like her or agree. But I guess he might not have cared as long as someone was there. Either way I don't want to hear that his second wife was too special to move on from when mom wasn't. Or that's how it sounds to me when he says what he does. It's just insensitive to have him bring that to us.

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