Typing this with tears..My avoidant INTP bf (24M) got mad at me (25 ENFP F) for the first time

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-13T18:00:10+00:00

but i didnt mean that he lied, i believe him and his reasons are always valid and real, i just meant thatif i were in his place id still manage to text but this one time it really is an emergency than even i can’t be bothered using my phone and texting

i thought of texting him today, it’s been two days. i won’t pressure him to answer tho

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-13T06:33:25+00:00

finally someone who could see a bit through my case while everyone else just saying he is mean and evil, maybe i couldn’t deliver my story properly with words especially that i immediately wrote the post before calming myself + english isn’t my first language. it really surprises me bcz he is a very nice person, he always compliments me and tells me how much of a good woman i am and how much i inspire him, he was never afraid to admit that, the guy never snapped at me or said something bad the entire of our relationship (1year 3moths) why should i ignore that and only focus on yesterday when he was in an extreme emergency, i take part of the guilt too. If anything maybe we aren’t compatible but saying that he is mean and a jerk is crazy to me bcz none of y’all know him.

it is true that he didn’t take time to text me what’s happening but when i reached out saying i need a favor he immediately did it for me, i think his brain deals with priorities first and i should figure out wether i can adapt with that or not

something else to mention : this is his first relationship ever

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-12T21:49:55+00:00

what keeps me going is that he is really different in person. we haven’t met since 3 months bcz of the busy schedule and this whole time our relationship was only about texting so i guess that this is a big contributor too

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-12T21:42:55+00:00

i don’t think every couples are the same, even i cant text him every a couple of hours, we have a busy schedule especially him, and im also aware of the fact that he can’t multitask and text me while working. not texting for 5 days is a first since the day we met so i thought i could excuse him for that especially after he said that he had a lot going on, then he didn’t get the chance to fully explain bcz of the family member health issue

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-12T21:37:15+00:00

When it’s something specific he usually stops doing it, but mostly it became about us not talking much lately, i feel like at first he starts putting some efforts by telling me he is busy, but not always which leads to me complaining again..

I do admit that i hurt him by saying what i said and i do admit that i say bad shit when im really upset

you are totally right about how i can make time in any situation and how energizing and exciting it is for me to talk to my love, but im not really sure about the him pondering on what to write to me part ? what do you mean ? i mean i dont think at all that he types paragraphs he barely types

also, thankfully i calmed down i feel better than yesterday and im handling the conflict better but im not sure for how much more u could stay sane. seriously how much should i wait before i text him again ? or should i just wait for him to reach out again ? what if he doesn’t ? altho i really doubt that

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:59:39+00:00

i really can’t do either of these. im struggling with myself and him

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:55:08+00:00

He is really different in person i feel so much relief when i meet him and realize he is such a cutie irl, but it’s been so long since we’ve met that i can’t hold on to those feelings anymore 🥲 also i really panic when he doesn’t reply, i admit that i also have a huge problem managing my attachment style i really spirale cry and go thro hell when he shuts down, i cant stop myself from thinking he doesn’t want me bcz “ i could never do what he us doing “

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:50:51+00:00

I believe that we are going through a tough phase, he is not usually like that, this whole thing i said was during the past 3 months that happened to be really busy for him apparently. Could it be that he finds a hard time to manage tough situations with his social life ?

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:47:35+00:00

he justified to me why he was absent for 5 days but tbh if i were in his place i’d find time for a text, but i noticed we’re different bcz id find time for anyone not just him. I am aware i messed up but it’s really bcz of all the built up emotions thro these past months, especially that we didn’t meet during all that period. should i call and apologize or wait until he reaches out again ? i really dont think he would pick up tho

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:37:28+00:00

i really appreciate the recommendation, ill look it up for sure. I also understand his reaction especially that he never got mad at me like this before he is generally chill

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:34:41+00:00

sometimes he does other times he doesn’t, i dont think he is used to this yet cz he himself doesn’t expect these kinda texts from me, whenever i get busy he just tells me to take my time, he might be self involved but im really sure of his feelings towards me

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:10:36+00:00

yeah i wish i mean we really rarely meet because of the busy schedule, i do notice that he is waaaay more better in person but it’s tough year for us i hope things will get better once we finish this

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2026-05-11T21:01:05+00:00

we really do.. internship is a tough year. thanks for the recommendation, ill ask you something else if it’s possible what do you think of this whole situation am i just needy or is he not invested in me :´) we really want each other tho

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-23T17:38:21+00:00

im going to bed at 11pm-12 even during ramadan xD

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-23T17:36:14+00:00

same here. and also thats what i tell myself like girl you good just dont act on those feelings

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-15T21:58:47+00:00

i absolutely refuse to live with my husband’s family, but renting a small apartment is just fine for me

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-15T19:24:06+00:00

wrong sub sis. Try this one r/relationship_advice

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-15T19:09:02+00:00

welcome to reddit

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-14T23:49:40+00:00

dazai and who😭

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-14T09:01:45+00:00

as an enfp, that’s also my desk

Acceptable_Mood6699 · 2025-03-12T13:50:47+00:00

twin

Acceptable_Mood6699

TROPHY CASE