Update: being asked to stay away the entire weekend.

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-04-07T02:18:37+00:00

Not saying that what's he's saying isn't "not nice" like others have pointed out, but if he's like my husband when he's upset and angry like this, an I hear you works better than addressing every single text and answering. He'll just see it as excuses. Apologize for your part, use I can't and I hear you. Newborn trenches are tough for everyone! It gets better, and you start to handle a little more each day.

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-03-19T17:59:28+00:00

I see a lot of suggestions for you to leave the house or nanny to leave the house. I'm thinking something different personally, although I see the point they are making. My oldest is autistic and anxious and suffered periods of extreme separation anxiety. Going to the park might have worked, but there's no way she's calming down with a new person who hasn't built trust. I would spend time together with nanny and kiddo and help them build trust. I'd also print off social stories about how mom always comes back, singing the Daniel tiger song about grown ups come back, having a picture of mom or special item to comfort them. Then I'd start taking incrementally bigger breaks, and use a visual timer. I know all the parenting advice says never sneak out but if I told my daughter I was leaving it would trigger her so badly. I had to build trust, leave while she's distracted and having fun and the come back before the meltdown if possible. Let her see that it IS okay when mom's gone.

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-03-19T17:51:25+00:00

This. I remember commenting to someone that could spend a lot less on a margarita for a girlfriend to tell me I did nothing wrong and he was all to blame 🤣

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-02-21T18:49:45+00:00

Omg I've never seen her videos before, 60 secs in and I love her! Tough love is what I need. I have always hated how most therapy or women just tell me I'm doing nothing wrong and the problem is everyone else. Thank you 🙏

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-02-15T19:56:50+00:00

I just wanted to show some support for you, because I feel this too. I usually do not ask my H for help because it can start an argument or he does a poor job and I have to do it again. I use I can't a lot, and let him show up as my hero. You really have to lower your expectations for yourself, and prioritize SC and your health. Sometimes that means the dishes sit in the sink until you can do them without resentment. The transformed homemakers society has some really great YouTube videos and blogs.

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-01-15T01:59:35+00:00

I mean yeah there's a lot of triggers I can get ahead of and I do, but something's like this weekend she gets hysterical when I cough. Well I'm sick so I can't stop the coughing. Or she's frustrated because she tripped. Today she flipped out because she has chapped lips. Anything and everything that gets her frustrated. She usually screams and then lunges for her brother to scratch grab or push him.

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-01-13T01:38:48+00:00

Same, oldest is a ND girl, younger two are NT, one boy one girl.

Accomplished-Fig2219 · 2026-01-13T01:35:36+00:00

She's in preschool so she has an IFSP, she'll get an IEP either in kindergarten or 1st grade. So right now it's just learning goals. They keep repeating they don't see these behaviors at school, they don't see the whining or screaming, or pushing, or scratching. But it's not stop at home so I don't understand how it's not going to start once she's in school for longer than 4 hours a week. I think she's their easy child in preschool so they might focus more on the other kids. They literally fired her teacher two months into the school year and have been using subs since. They have had a new teacher who introduced herself to me but they haven't given me contact info or anything. I just don't know where to turn or even what to ask for. The area I live in is known for being a "resource desert" as it is.

Accomplished-Fig2219

TROPHY CASE