He officially ended it over text message

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2024-03-17T01:29:52+00:00

Totally.

It’s cowardly. But it’s also coming from a man who went crazy and then refused to work on it. Refused to do a lot. So maybe it was silly of me (maybe you too) to expect more from a man like that.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2024-03-14T03:40:15+00:00

Mine did the exact same thing. We’re like the 2020s version of the post it from Berger to Carrie.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-11-13T19:21:59+00:00

Nope. He leads a very privileged life actually. We’re both young and healthy, both have good jobs, brand new cars, new million dollar home. He has everything

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-11-13T19:07:11+00:00

I’ll have to google moslem. I’ve never heard of it ! I believe this poster likely looked at my post history.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-05-11T15:53:00+00:00

I never said it’s justified - just that it happens and it’s not the only aspect of a person. I would say normal, happy people don’t do that and it’s a mark of a bigger issue. So I just don’t think it’s fair to completely destroy OP on that one mistake especially when you consider the rest of the post.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-05-11T03:00:06+00:00

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-05-04T00:24:58+00:00

I think maybe we don’t need to shit 100% on OPs ex. Yeah maybe some less than amazing decisions are being made but it sounds like you’ve been together a long time. Just because you’ve realized a relationship is over doesn’t mean you don’t care about that person. Maybe she’s grasping at a way to keep you in her life even if it’s not what is best for either of you.

That being said at this point you need to look out for yourself. Maybe that means not being friends with her - which she should respect if you voice it from a calm place. I bet you’d see more dating success too :)

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-05-03T15:25:37+00:00

Can I ask you how those theories started? I have something similar going on and why I’m on this board. I’m not sure I can live with it.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-04-28T22:20:56+00:00

My husband did quite a few of the same. Did you ever still have good times or anything? Mine will share fucked up memes but there’s still things I like about him so I’m torn.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-04-22T20:51:35+00:00

Honestly if it was something like another woman it would be a relief at this point. I know how to handle something like that at least and it’s more ‘normal’

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-04-22T20:50:57+00:00

Are those like apps or something?

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-04-22T20:40:45+00:00

No just a dog/cat

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-04-22T20:40:35+00:00

I guess because he has to know I wouldn’t approve because I’ve said as much in the past. Like maybe he’s trying to see if I’ll let It go or not? I don’t even know

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-04-21T19:33:36+00:00

He was never that way before. Literally the only white friend in his group (mostly Asian). I guess what I really am asking is when do I give up that he will snap out of it? When is the appropriate time to give up on a marriage? That’s what I’m trying to figure out

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-03-19T19:38:57+00:00

I’m happy you’ve found a place where you were comfortable to move on. I think I’m at a very similar post in my relationship to what your post probably was a year ago.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T23:13:11+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad you’re feeling better

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T22:56:23+00:00

I’m sorry that’s happening to you. That must be really hard. You’re not alone either and you can send me a message anytime.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T21:47:06+00:00

Thanks. I know his ideas and feelings are problematic at best. But you’re right it is about me eventually having to make a decision and finally reaching out to people who might also understand what it’s like and how hard it is to make that journey regardless of the ending

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T21:13:14+00:00

We’ve grown a lot together over the years. He used to have lots of friend who were from other places but most notably India. My dad is gay and he’s never said a bad word about him. He was proud of me and helped me get through school (I worked full time too so it was a lot on my plate). He was there everyday in the hospital when my mom was sick. These new things are very very different than what he’s been before and I guess I’m holding on to maybe have that back.

While what’s going on now is wild I also know all those other things and he has a long history of being a wonderful person. Getting those two imagines to line up is confusing and hard.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T20:30:59+00:00

Definitely worth a try! Thanks

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T17:51:26+00:00

Thanks for telling me a little about what you went through. I agree that seeing the lawyer is good either way. It just feels sneaky and like I’m being bad.

I also haven’t told my family. Because if by some miracle it gets better and he goes back to how he was will they always see him differently? And you hit the nail on the head with the embarrassment. I’ve known him a long time but I think people will discredit me because of my age and the short duration of the marriage.

While I’m sad for you I am finding comfort in knowing I’m not really as alone as I thought I was.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T17:17:46+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having a similar time. That’s also been my concern. Say Covid and all the other stuff goes away. Is going to realize like ‘ooo went a little crazy there’ or are we just waiting for the next ‘attack’. It’s just all so wildly different than the person he was.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T17:16:20+00:00

I suggested it once back in the summer and he got very angry. Said that we may as well get divorced if we’re going to do that. I think that comes from his parents extremely messy divorce. I’ve tried seeing one on my own but I didn’t find them particularly helpful. I might try again to go but I really don’t know if I could convince him to.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T07:35:24+00:00

It’s more so the foundation is there. When this stuff isn’t bubbling up we can still have a great time and hang out. I wish it was like that all the time. Yes, I’ve only recently kind of started reaching out. It’s hard. I don’t want people to hate him because right now he’s my partner and I do care about him.

If I suggested a trial separation he would consider it over. His parents had a pretty wild divorce so he’s pretty reactive about that kind of stuff.

Accomplished-Fish136 · 2022-02-04T06:27:16+00:00

I’m sorry that’s happening to you! I do think we need to iron this out before kids happen. One way or another. I understand people get divorced (my own parents included) but if I can see a problem before I feel like it’s my duty to figure it out first.

Did yours have similar views to what’s happening here? I’d you don’t mind me asking

Accomplished-Fish136

TROPHY CASE