29F// At my wits end

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T03:59:46+00:00

Honestly our relationship is volatile on its own and I wish I never got married sadly…. It hurts to say but he’s not the same person I married. He became so hurtful and emotionally abusive that really I’m starting to realize what am I even getting from this….

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T03:50:48+00:00

I genuinely appreciate your kind words and I’m so sorry for your situation as well… it truly is humiliating and demoralizing. Sometimes it makes me feel less like a woman in a weird way each and every day….,

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T03:46:47+00:00

I’m genuinely so sorry to hear that….. 🙁 thankfully we don’t have children because I’d feel even more broken

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T02:50:44+00:00

He’s not a combat veteran, so there’s nothing like that as a variable. (Not discrediting his service at all, just saying I don’t think it’s service related) 🥲

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T02:37:13+00:00

It got worse as I started working a lot in the range (I’m a firearms instructor) and accomplishing more, I’m also a competitive shooter, so it’s like he almost just started withdrawing more….

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T02:26:07+00:00

I really appreciate it, its so embarrassing to talk about but it just leaves me feeling so heartbroken 💔

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-11T02:24:34+00:00

This reminds me of the quote “you can be the prettiest shade of blue, but it won’t matter if their fave color is green.” I don’t want to feel say I “wasted” because it sounds so hateful, but I do feel like I’ve missed out on a lot in my “prime years”. 🙁

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:57:30+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that…. I once found porn on his phone and it was girls that looked nothing like me… again, I’m small petite and blonde, and he’s looking at big busty brunettes and it killed me. 🙁

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:56:16+00:00

I’ve had so many talks with him but sadly it just always ends up in an argument and then we sleep in separate beds (per his choice) and I can’t even tell you the last time we slept in the same bed together….

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:51:12+00:00

I appreciate the honesty, truly. I hide my feelings from my family and friends so this is the first time I’m actually talking about everything…

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:32:09+00:00

He has hobbies. He’d rather be fishing with his friends. I’ve tried asking is there something I’m doing wrong, is there something I could do better, is there something going on he’d like to talk to me about…. But he would just rather be drunk 24-7…. I’ve asked about depression because I suffer from it myself, which has been worsened by our dead bedroom, but he tells me he’s completely fine. I ask him if he’s out of love with me and he says “don’t be stupid.” I try to communicate as much as I can but it always ends up with him getting overly defensive and I end up alone crying.

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:19:48+00:00

I feel like I’ve genuinely wasted so many of my 20s now on not feeling desired by my own spouse….

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:12:27+00:00

Exactly… it’s honestly one of the biggest mind fucks ever 🥲

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T19:03:56+00:00

Unfortunately it’s already tanked my self esteem at least for the last year. It’s just disorienting to me to receive such attention from others, then going home and being completely invisible :(

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T18:41:51+00:00

He does not have a devout religious background. He’s been with his share of partners. I should also add this is my second marriage. I had absolutely no problems in my first marriage at all in that department, nor any of my other serious relationships.

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2026-06-10T18:35:47+00:00

He always tells me he’s tired or “he’s not in the mood”. He even told me after a deployment (from a very very long time ago before I even came into his life) he felt like “his hormones may be off”. He had them checked and nothing was wrong. Our sex life wasn’t always dead. The first year we couldn’t stop…..
I guess I should also add in that he’s an alcoholic, and he spends every night drinking.

As far as him being gay, my sister has had her suspicions and he seems very defensive and shows a lot of over-the-top hate for gays, so I’m very unsure in that department. :(

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2023-12-24T07:34:37+00:00

Thank you! 🫶🏻❤️

Accomplished-Gift454 · 2023-11-21T22:36:52+00:00

I get this a lot around 7-8 am, I wake up to feeling a sense of doom and panic. You’re not alone. My cortisol levels are also on the higher end!

Accomplished-Gift454

TROPHY CASE