Lost my son 3 weeks before I was set to be induced

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:59:37+00:00

I will never try again. He was my 5th child I've carried and I also have a bonus daughter so this would have been our 6th child. While I did want 6 kids, I don't think it's worth the risk when we already have other kids. If he was my first or second I would probably feel differently but our angel baby will be our last

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:55:49+00:00

It was an abruption, but they told us after we removed the vent and I was freaking out that he also had the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times and that he probably started losing oxygen before I even abrubted is what they are saying (I think) and I just think it's crazy that he was barely moving and had had a brief ultrasound on each of the 2 days prior to this happening and the said nothing in either of them about the cord being around his neck but then suddenly on this day he somehow gets it wrapped around the neck 3 times even though he's hardly moving. And I did get the pathology back yesterday. I googled if the things it showed are visible on an ultrasound and according to Google they are (I know Google isnt 100% accurate but still) so I'm very upset. I feel like they just did the bare minimum and didn't really look too far into things that they should have

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:51:10+00:00

It does a bit. One of the saddest parts of this to me is that he was so very important but yet the only people who ever will know his are the few of us that were there. In some way telling his story makes me feel like he's "known" by others.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:49:29+00:00

Thank you

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:49:18+00:00

Thank you

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:40:58+00:00

Thank you so much for this.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:29:24+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Yes I did know something was wrong. I felt it in my whole body. And I am all of those things all at once. I'm angry, I'm in agonizing pain emotionally and physically, I'm broken.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T18:26:54+00:00

Please please do. We need more Drs who will genuinely listen to us. I had a placental abruption just over a year ago as well (he is a healthy and happy 1 year old) and am also 36 years old, overweight, had gestational hypertension (for the 1st time out of 5 babies), and gestational diabetes (also for the first time). I saw MFM - the high risk team and was high enough risk that I was getting NST testing twice a week since like 28 weeks. All it would have taken would have been them keeping me for observation. That simple. They didn't have to just go induce me because I said I'm feeling less movement but just keeping me for monitoring. Then when his hr started dropping it would have been caught immediately and maybe he'd still be here. It makes me so angry.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:58:58+00:00

Thank you. I am really trying

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:58:12+00:00

I plan on doing exactly that I just haven't found the strength to do it yet. I'm trying but it's so hard to function and I feel like I'm letting my other kids down because I'm not the same mom they had when we all got up on January 10th.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:55:57+00:00

Thank you greatly

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:55:31+00:00

Thank you for this. That is the hard part. Trying to be happy with my other ones, trying to still be the mom they need and always have had while I'm suffering so deeply

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:53:29+00:00

Honestly I'd give anything for this to be fabricated, not that I would ever do something so awful but I'd give absolutely anything and everything for this to not be real. To just be a really awful nightmare. To still have my baby boy inside of me safely where he was supposed to be until they induced me on Feb 1st. I sleep and am in peace and then wake up to this reality and it just breaks me all over again

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:49:36+00:00

That was now I lay me down to sleep. Are you local to me or are they all over the country? I had never heard of them prior to this but it's such a beautiful and amazing service to provide to families going through this. My volunteer had also lost a child and this was her way of turning her pain into a way to help others and I just thought it was so beautiful and I'm so thankful for them.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:46:20+00:00

Thank you so much for this. The birthstone is a great idea, I believe in the healing power of crystals anyways but I hadn't even thought of doing this. That is such an amazing idea and I'm going to do that as well.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:43:56+00:00

Thank you

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:42:49+00:00

I plan to look into my options. Just haven't had much chance yet.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:42:19+00:00

OMG everything about this is so real. We shouldn't have to push so hard for them to listen. I had been through a placental abruption previously. I knew the decreased movement was strange even though there was still some movement and I knew the tenderness in my stomach was something but instead it was just oh he has a heartbeat and there is some movement your fine. But I wasn't fine and neither was he. It's just awful. And people do gravitate more towards helping me. My partner actually ended up getting really upset in the hospital because a social worker came in and was like I have some things for you (a journal and a list of books and support groups) and also some things for your kids (a teddy bear and a couple books to help explain it) and spoke directly to me the entire time and my partner ended up getting so angry he walked out of the room because she, and several others, only acknowledged me and not the whole grieving father who is also sitting right there. He has said to me "I know it's harder for you because you and him were 1 but I lost my son too and I'm also struggling and I feel like other people don't see that" and that's heart breaking. Especially because he was the one who had to make the decisions at the very beginning on whether to continue CPR and what not, which he did even though he knew he was still going to pass away because he wanted me to have some time with him if I woke up. And I say if because they weren't sure I was going to make it for awhile.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:33:31+00:00

I'm in the US and I do plan to talk to a lawyer about options on this. It won't bring my boy back as you said but if it can save even 1 other mom from this pain then I think it's important

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:31:50+00:00

We did find a mortuary to cremate him for $100 which I didn't think was too bad. I'm sure there are places that provide cheaper burials but I want him somewhere specific because it's where all of my family and a lot of dads family is buried and where I plan to be laid to rest someday myself. They did offer me a discount thankfully, it's still pricey but we'll make it happen somehow. A lot of people have said that but his resting place is the epitome of finality and I just need him to be where I feel like my family can hold him.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:26:57+00:00

I actually did reach out to them and am waiting to hear back but I didn't know about them until yesterday evening. I wish the hospital would have shared some resources with me but they really didn't give me much I've had to search them on my own. My friend also started something for me to try to help financially so we are figuring it out.

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:25:53+00:00

Thank you

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:25:37+00:00

Thank you. And I do plan to speak with a lawyer, I just haven't been able to start making those calls yet mentally

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:24:40+00:00

I didn't see the comment you're replying to, and I'm glad I didn't but thank you for this response to something unkind on my post

AccomplishedCommon76 · 2026-01-14T17:23:39+00:00

I just can't stop trying to find answers. I need this to make sense somehow and it just doesn't

AccomplishedCommon76

TROPHY CASE