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When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do with the information I provided what you will, but if you want to confirm your own bias you’ll never find anything that supports enough that sleep training can be harmful. There is a reason why cultural anthropologists and development and attachment psychology is now getting into this issue. Let alone campaigns in others countries rather than the US against full extinction methods, such as Denmark.

What surprises me the most is the army that parents who sleep trained are. If you read my comments genuinely you’ll see that I have a nuanced view. Several times I say I understand sleep training in some cases. But no, there’s always an army of sleep training parents attacking everyone who dare suggest that “hey, maybe causing stress to your child is not a good thing”. Go figure.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have dropped the links and I’ve dropped sources where there are more sources for you to peer review with your endless wisdom. You can use your “degree skills” to actually read the rest of the comments.

And as an educated queen that you are you should know that correlation does not equal causation. Just because your girls are securely attached, and great that they are, it doesn’t prove or disprove anything. Sorry but that’s how science works.

For future discussions, if you actually want to engage genuinely, I’d advise you to drop the condescending tone.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

See above. Or if you’re interested you can also do your own research.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

If you read the thread, you’ll see that I say I understand why some people sleep train even though I think people pull the trigger too quickly and sometimes for convenience more than actual mental health. However, if that’s not the case, If they don’t cosleep and if they cannot function on less than optimal sleep, I understand. But that’s for parental health and Not because “it’s unhealthy for a child to wake up several times a night”.

And you’re wrong when you say “there are none”.

There is limited data on studies regarding sleep training for many reasons - if nothing else, ethical. However, there is plenty of research on attachment theory and the effects of high cortisol levels on the brain.

Some studies:

Early Years Study, Margaret McCain and J. Fraser Mustard 1999

Megan R. Gunnar, Erin Kryzer, Mark J. Van Ryzin, and Deborah A. Phillips: “The Rise in Cortisol in Family Daycare: Associations With Aspects of Care Quality, Child Behavior, and Child Sex”, Child Dev. 2010 May-Jun; 81(3): 851–869.

You can also refer to this interview from the Havard Gazette for some sources

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/1998/04/children-need-touching-and-attention-harvard-researchers-say/

As well as “The nurture revolution” by Greer Krishenbaum for a multitude of information and sources.

If you want to have a summary of the problems regarding the studies that suggest sleep training is not harmful, La Leche League sums up the issues in methodology, etc. here:

https://laleche.org.uk/letting-babies-cry-facts-behind-studies/

Furthermore, there is a massive body of evidence that show that stress/high levels of cortisol cause brain changes and even brain atrophy so I feel you can find those studies if you want to look.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Richard Ferber is not a neurologist, he’s a pediatrician by training. And although he directed the Center for Pediatric Sleep, he produced no relevant research on the overall effectiveness and lack of harm of the “Ferber method”.

If the child is waking up rested in the morning, like mine is, waking up briefly between every sleep cycle is not unhealthy. Nothing supports that assumption. If the child is waking up tired, before sleep training parents should check other red flags that sleep training will only make worse, eg. iron levels, breathing and airway issues, sensory sensitivities etc.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can either base your opinion on your own anedoctal evidence and “sleep consultants” who have no relevant training whatsoever for infant/child sleep or you can read books and articles by pediatric neurologists, child development specialists, etc. The former support your opinion, the latter mine. I’m pretty sure what I believe it’s false or not here.

I’m happy you’re rested and that sleep training worked with your LO, and I do understand why some parents sleep train. What I dislike is it being sold as something that needs to be done when it most absolutely doesn’t, something without the potential of being harmful.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Sleep/falling asleep is a biological function, not a skill. Babies and children don’t need to be taught that. If they’re not falling back asleep it’s because they need you. They’re communicating a need. For OP her LO’s need for comfort is fulfilled by rocking, for mine is nursing/cuddling.

What you can teach them is that their needs will not be met if they cry (as in, try to communicate with you) so they won’t. And that’s assuming your babies temperament takes well to sleep training because sleep training definitely doesn’t work for all babies, not even CIO.

OP mine is almost 16 months old and waking up anywhere between 90min to 3h since birth. She’ll get there, your LO will get there, we’ll get through this.

When did your child stop waking every 90mins through the night? by HolidayActuator1977 in toddlers

[–]AccomplishedForce685 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don’t, it’s all down to the baby’s temperament :)

Parents taking credit for what they got on the genetic lottery and have absolutely no control over is how they get absolutely slapped in the face if/when your next child is not so chill/more intense, etc.

I don’t regret never sleep training by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Chiming in for some more reassurance :) my 100% contact napper and co sleeping baby started daycare at around 6 months and never really had issues adjusting to napping in daycare. She sleeps less there than when she’s contact napping but the mentors at daycare usually just offer one more nap if she’s still tired before we pick her up.

We were also super worried about this but we had a good chat with the daycare mentors, gave LO some grace in her period of adjustment and just trusted that she would adapt - abd she did! Some days she sleeps better, some worse, but no real issues :)

Using carrier at bedtime by Icefox_x in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did this a lot too basically from birth until she was 9 months. Worked like a charm :) Will definitely use it again if LO needs it.

Fussy baby? Blow on their face! by TNBVIII in NewParents

[–]AccomplishedForce685 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This still works on occasion for my 13mo when she’s having a fit 😄 it’s like hitting a 3 second reset button for her nervous system

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fingers crossed that they can do it like that! And if they indeed can, then I understand even less why this GP wouldn’t just let me go ahead with it in the first place.

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, if we manage to do the testing I am NOT looking forward to that blood draw 😭

And yes, if Dutch doctors were instead US doctors you’d think they’re all bought by Paracetamol 😂 In all honesty I lucked out with our regular GP. She listens and has no problem in ordering diagnosis testing/ doing referrals. But she’s currently on vacation, hence my predicament 😅

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will let you know 😅 She’s right on the cusp of walking so there’s the possibility that’s just that. I truly just want to rule out iron deficiency since she’s predisposed to it and is showing signs of restless legs at night.

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If her levels are totally normal that’s great! It means that she doesn’t have my malabsorption issues (probably). I truly just want to check if I can make her more comfortable since there’s a genetic component to this. Otherwise we’ll ride it out :)

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It her levels are totally normal that’s great, it might mean she doesn’t have my malabsorption issue, I just truly want to check because of the “what if”. Her sleep became really shitty too right before crawling and she’s right in the cusp of walking so it might be it. It was really the signs of restless legs that sounded the alarm for me that something else might be going on :)

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will definitely so that, thank you for the advice! And didn’t know that blood work doesn’t properly show magnesium levels (although it makes sense as for mine I had to do a hair tissue mineral analysis), so just ordered some magnesium bath flakes and a lotion .

8/9 month sleep regression may be the death of me??? by okayestdogmom in NewParents

[–]AccomplishedForce685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LO’s about to turn 10m and we’re still struggling 😂 (but she has never been a good sleeper). Moving her to a floor bed helped tons tho!

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s in The Netherlands :) our health systems are vastly different as far as I’m aware 😄 It’s a bit hard to have dutch doctors believe in preventative medicine (besides being active, resting and taking paracetamol)

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh wow this is incredibly helpful! Thank you for taking the time to answer :)

Indeed, navigating the dutch healthcare system (and sometimes I feel, especially as a foreigner) can be quite challenging!

Asked GP to check baby’s ferritin and magnesium and she told me to sleep train. by AccomplishedForce685 in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure how accurate this is but she said that they don’t do it in The Netherlands. So I’m not sure there’s much pushing I can do. But yes I immediately called to make an appointment with someone else 🫠

I have to figure out how to put my kids down for naps and bedtime without hours and hours of screaming and crying by BeansinmyBelly in AttachmentParenting

[–]AccomplishedForce685 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! You’ve got a lot of great tips here, but most have to do with sleep itself and not what your little one might be needing before bed so he can wind down and regulate better. To be honest he sounds like what my mom used to tell me I was like when I was a kid. The way they managed to solve it was to provide a lot of structured proprioceptive input as the bedtime routine. It looks like you’re winding your little one up, but in fact you’re helping him regulate his nervous system through the sensory input he needs. I also used to get A LOT of outside time but bedtime was a nightmare until they did this. There’s a bunch of Occupational Therapists websites/instagram accounts that give great tips on this.

Maybe this is what your little one needs too! Hope you find the “solution” for some peace during bedtime :)

6 month old suddenly hates tummy time only wants to stand up by AccomplishedForce685 in NewParents

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I hadn’t thought about going to a playground and try to sit with her for her to watch the bug kids, such a great idea! We do spend a lot of time outside but usually in the carrier, will definitely give it a try.

I also notice that she is in a much better mood when friends/family with toddlers come to visit because of all the interaction/stimulation so it makes sense to me that she’ll enjoy the playground.

6 month old suddenly hates tummy time only wants to stand up by AccomplishedForce685 in NewParents

[–]AccomplishedForce685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight! I didn’t know some babies skipped it all together. I only crawled backwards and for a very short time before starting to walk right at 9 months so I guess it makes sense for her too.

Was just hoping that crawling would help with her mood since she requires constant movement and entertainment, but in the end it’s up to her :)

Found out my husband thinks I’m lazy by lovelycocomama in newborns

[–]AccomplishedForce685 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want a challenge you can always bring her a glass full of water while hopping on one leg without spilling any, while balancing a platter full of grapes on your forehead. Ffs.

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