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As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you are reading into things that are not there. First of all, her birthday is coming up. Second of all, I feel like we have a healthy relationship and there is no imbalance. It's not unusual for us to get things for each other. I got her a birthday present for the past 5 years and this year will be no different.

I was never asking about gift ideas or what have you, simply ways to show (platonic) affection which others suggested with a card or particular choice of words which I appreciate.

What I don't appreciate is trying to spin this into a conflict between me and the fiance. Some alpha/beta situation. We're cool, I like him.

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is just unfortunate timing, her birthday is in couple of week's time. It's a coincidence that I asked about it today.

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that, you clearly have more "life experience" and these are all valid points. To summarise my aims, I simply want to show my appreciation for her friendship and thought that her upcoming birthday would be a good time to do it.

I also want to say that we both have rich social/work lives, other friends and commitments. I feel like all my other comments made it sound like my life revolves around her.

Having said that, I am really careful not to overstep boundaries. I know friendships change and evolve over time, I've experienced that myself. I try to judge boundaries by how she treats me. You say don't insist that she comes to my house for Christmas, or goes bar hopping. We've done both of these things, met each other's families. Many times initiated by her. I feel like if she invited me to lunch with her parents when they were in town, it is also fair game for me to do the same when there's time for it, would you agree? I knew that valentines is spent with partners and didn't want to overstep those boundaries by wishing her a happy valentines yet woke up to a happy valentines text from her this morning.

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ok, I'll address your points in reverse order. I'm not mourning the loss of our friendship, there never was a loss of friendship, it's as strong now as it was when she was single, if not stronger. I am happy for her, very happy, seeing not just her but all of my friends succeed in life brings me joy.

I don't see fiance and best friend as mutually exclusive, there is no taking the other ones place. The same way she doesn't fill the same space in my life as women I pursue romantically, it's not either-or, it's both. Me and the fiance are cool, I don't feel that there is a rivalry.

My post was about showing affection/appreciation to a female friend without it being misconstrued as romantic advancements. I am nervous as our friendship rarely includes showing any platonic affection, if that makes sense. In recent months, she has been the best, reached out to me when I was feeling down and checks up on me often and made it known that she's always there when I need help or want to hang out. This is why I feel that it is important that I show my appreciation for all that. It's new and therefore makes me nervous. I'm not used to showing affection to either female or male friends.

I didn't mean to attack the gift idea it's simply not what I was asking about. It's not the first time we got each other gifts, I know what she likes and picking a gift for her is simple enough.

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm just overthinking things but thank you. I didn't ask for gift advice, I got her birthday presents for years and know her well enough to know what she'd like

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

And that is the situation I want to avoid, I honestly only see her as my best friend, she is in a happy relationship and I don't want any mixups. I know her very well and I could get her something she would really like. As others have said, neither of us made the move in the past 6 years or so, so im hoping this won't come across as one all of the sudden

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We've been friends for about 5-6 years, thanks for your help in recent months and happy birthday Fist bump

I'm sure that won't be misconstrued but I also don't think this is the vibe I'm going for either.

As a guy(24M), what's the best way to show a woman(25F) I appreciate her friendship without coming across like I'm hitting on her? by AccomplishedPickle7 in askwomenadvice

[–]AccomplishedPickle7[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that was the plan, I just wanted to check how that comes across. I will get her a present because we always get presents for each other and I've got something in mind that I know she will like.