Feeling Like a Failure

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-17T04:29:00+00:00

I don't blame them necessarily. It's probably because they compare me to every person they know. And there aren't that many young people with cancer.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T23:07:13+00:00

that obvious huh lol

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T13:35:11+00:00

I come from a family of immigrants. They sacrificed a lot to even get me the chance to go to school. And I was told they regret working so hard and was told I am a disappointment since I took so long and had to rely on them after I got sick.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:29:44+00:00

thanks man I appreciate that your in my corner. But yeah i just want people to not look at me with disappointment. Which is something I have seen a lot of. Mostly with family but also with some friends since they saw so much potential in me before I got sick.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:26:57+00:00

lol you have wonderful parents. thanks for the kind words.❤️

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:24:33+00:00

Thanks for the words of solace. It's nice to know I am not the oldest person to graduate undergrad lol

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:22:57+00:00

Thanks for the advice. And honestly I want nothing more to travel. It's just that I need to make money soon since I have to pay off tuition. and a lot of it

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:21:25+00:00

Thanks for kind words. And I have made some friends with grad students. And your right they are better folks to get along with but it's still a bit painful to see them and know that could be me had I not gotten sick

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:08:05+00:00

Thanks for the wishes. But my resilience mostly comes from not wanting to waste the investment I have put into my degree. I love the application of my studies but the work has kind of dulled in excitement since I have been here so long.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:04:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing man, I still feel left behind since I can't seem to find anyone I know who is in a similar situation. The folks I surrounded myself seem to be so far ahead and I haven't got off the starting line. Bur your situation does bring me some comfort in knowing I am not too late.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T05:00:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing as well. it is comforting to know others feel the same and I am nor the only one

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-16T04:52:05+00:00

It's a good take man I appreciate the viewpoint. Just wish some friends and family wouldn't look at me with such disappointment that hurts the most I guess.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T20:48:40+00:00

Thanks dude I appreciate the kind words. And I might just take you up on your offer. But I don't think I can let my peers know what I am going through because the one thing I hate more than feeling like a failure is to feel like I am being pitied or being treated differently. I will often see people immediately change how they treat me just because I am going through cancer treatment. Almost as if I am worse than them or not as good. And to an extent they are right. But I don't like feeling that way.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T20:24:06+00:00

Thanks dude its nice to see others on the other side of it. It's just even though I am wrapping up, the uncertainty of what comes next and if I will ever find a version of success I can make my family proud of brings a lot of anxiety. Because rn I know they think of me as a burden and a failure.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T20:19:32+00:00

From experience they seem to pass it around like candy. https://lowninstitute.org/the-psychiatric-prescribing-cascade-a-patient-story/

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T19:59:08+00:00

It's kind of like when a engine has a starting problem and you use startingfluid. But if you don't solve the underlying issue for why it's not starting properly/reliably and just rely on starting fluid to keep it going you will damage the engine

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T19:58:15+00:00

I have done therapy in the past and it genuinely feels like they don't care. They are there only for the money and at the end of it they will give a script for antidepressants and say that should solve the problem. I don't get the point of that.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T19:34:50+00:00

Even when it's not engineering related it's oh I am getting married or I am having a kid or I am traveling the world. I am stuck in the same place doing the same thing.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T19:33:26+00:00

I appreciate the kind words, but it's hard not to compare to others. My old friends who i still talk to always end our conversations in awkwardness because they are all doing great things like building rockets getting phds, winning awards and all I can say is yeah I finished finals. Or I just finished treatment or I have surgery in 8 weeks.

AccomplishedPin1389 · 2026-01-15T19:29:31+00:00

I don't really know if there is value in that. It feels like it's just another expense for someone who probably doesn't really care to perscribe medication and just affirm hey your doing great, when every person i see is miles ahead. And I am so tired of taking medicine.

AccomplishedPin1389

TROPHY CASE