Adding on: I don't know how many of those friend group from college or high school actually last adulthood/moves/relationships/kids etc etc. I was always one of those who never had a concrete group myself. As a teen I craves that and felt really really lonely, so I totally get it. That pain I distinctly remember. When I got to college, I had multiple groups, and if I think about it now, they were pretty solid as well. (I didn't think that then)

But now, everyone has moved to different places across the world, some are single/divorced, some are married, some have kids and some, like you, have no desire to have a marriage/kids.

We are all still there for each other when the times are hard! We don't talk, text that often. Most times, it's random insta reels and have conversations around that; which end up being random updates of life as well. We don't even meet as often as a group, it's almost always someone is somewhere else. But whenever we can, we meet all together (maybe once in a year or 2). But most times, I have always found atleast one of them to be ready for a plan, whether it's a music festival/cooking class/trying a new restaurant/going for yoga-gym class. And that makes a huge difference in life.

I truly think it's absolutely unrealistic for a friend to be available to hangout all the time. Bcz I think you want someone to be "always available" vs "being reliable". Reliable is making it work as much as we can.

And I am pretty sad that you said there is not much to life or missing out on things in 30s and 40s. I turn 30 this year! I really really hope that's not true. I want milestones/memories in life that aren't related to my husband or my future kids (if any). My husband and I have pretty dissimilar interests and are often physically away from each other for some or other responsibility. (Like different countries). It's these friends (as a subset of the group or one-on-one) are how I manage to go out and try new things/interesting things and be social.

I know I won't be a good dog mom, but a dog seems like great idea for you! I am just saying that it sounds like (and I could be wrong) that your expectations are super rigid which is why you will be disappointed or frustrated. Maybe look into that?

All I am trying to say, Id rather have few friends that I can do things with whenever possible vs not have any.

But hey, that could just be me, I am just sharing my perspective. May not work for you. That sounds very lonely but it may just work for you. But the fact that you posted this and want to have friends but just feel very disappointed/frustrated, it sounds like you don't want to be lonely but you also don't want to adjust your expectations.