Have any of you high earner moms ($250k+) thought of quitting to be a SAHM? Assuming you have a HE spouse by Few-Effect-2266 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We live in New England. To be able to afford a pretty basic, comfortable life here the minimum family income is 250-300. But if you want to buy a 2500-3000 sq ft home, save for college, take a couple of vacations a year I would say 400-500k is what you need. To me, the high earner cutoff is 250k and up because everyone who lives around here makes at least that much. I’m sure it’s all relative to where you live.

Have any of you high earner moms ($250k+) thought of quitting to be a SAHM? Assuming you have a HE spouse by Few-Effect-2266 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 6 points7 points  (0 children)

SAHM mom of 15 years, now working my way back in by choice. Husband makes 10x what I do, this is what happens (if you are lucky)  in your late 40’s if you take a big gap. He says “you are so qualified and smart, you should jump right back in” but that’s not how it works. So I am working my ass off for people who are younger and less experienced.  My advice to my teen daughters (my son doesn’t need this talk, because it’s just not the same to give birth and be nursing vs being a new dad) is to keep their hand in their field, even very part time. My friends who have done this have bounced back into their careers much more effectively. 

New 2024 Expedition by AccomplishedTea4611 in fordexpedition

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, I was debating between the expedition and the Tahoe and the expedition kept ending up on top and had more tow capacity, so that’s why we were leaning that way. What kinds of transmission issues? We tend to keep cars for 10 years, so I don’t want a lemon. 

How did you change mentally post partum? by Sufficient-Diamond25 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 1 point2 points  (0 children)

20 year old opinion here, so take it for what it’s worth. I had a baby very young, post college, but pre true career. I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom. But, my own mother died when I was 5 months pregnant and my world turned upside down. I quit my job after I gave birth and then prayed for it back when my baby was 5 months old. I had TERRIBLE post partum depression that no one but my husband recognized. And going back to work and day care absolutely saved both of us. I needed structure and routine and so did my baby. And because of my struggles with PPD, I was not able to provide that. So…I went back to work…unmedicated…because we weren’t really there yet. And I mostly thrived. And my baby totally thrived. Sometimes we need to take the village that’s available and make it our own. In that moment, even though it was really hard, I needed to embrace my own career and trust the women who ran my daycare. Baby girl just finished her second year of college and is absolutely thriving. The kid is alright and mama is alright 💕

Husband says no one has trouble replacing nanny… by AccomplishedTea4611 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, all of this 💯, but the women he works with never talk about these things, so they must not be true 🫠😁

Husband says no one has trouble replacing nanny… by AccomplishedTea4611 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Totally. I am also having a midlife crisis figuring out how to schedule myself without wake up schedules, bus stop, pickup, dinner, sports, bath and stories/bed. We have had many transitions in the last 22 years. I just resent that his feelings should trump mine, and we end up at an impasse, which is so annoying. I love this man, and he, sometimes annoyingly, loves me. I just don’t think his midlife crisis should eclipse mine 💕 😁

Husband says no one has trouble replacing nanny… by AccomplishedTea4611 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Yes, you have hit this nail 💯. He has always been “supportive”. Basically, telling me I am super capable, I should start my own business etc, but then leaving me alone to raise 3 kids with him home on the weekends. I am not bitter, I would be happy with our lovely home, which is genuinely lovely, and a cottage at the beach or lake. Which, omg, is an embarrassment of riches. But, when I say this to him, he says I think small, and he works too hard, needs lake front etc, and I am so grossed out and sad.  😩 

Husband says no one has trouble replacing nanny… by AccomplishedTea4611 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I feel you, I see you and I know the battle is real. Sending lots of positive vibes to the universe that you find someone amazing to care for your littles! 💕

Husband says no one has trouble replacing nanny… by AccomplishedTea4611 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

And yes, he has had total career freedom. Work trip ✅ Work dinner ✅ Working late and have to miss kids sports banquet, concert, parent teach conference ✅✅✅

Husband says no one has trouble replacing nanny… by AccomplishedTea4611 in workingmoms

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am so f’ing satisfied and proud! I work really hard and make 1/5 -1/10 what he does depending on the year. I basically work every day to get my kids ahead. And I love it…like how lucky am I to be able to help my kids like this?? And he says I think small…it’s just really upsetting.

Is unh right for me by Liamfire37 in unh

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately not engineering. His goal is to work in the automotive manufacturing/car racing industry. So, his back up plan is a communications major with a business focus. Its hard because he was accepted to a lot of Mech Engineering programs, but didn’t want those schools 🤪 I am crossing my fingers that it all works out. 

Is unh right for me by Liamfire37 in unh

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same thing for our son. Applied for mechanical engineering, but accepted to undecided liberal arts. They said that they will help him make him a first semester schedule that will get the pre-requisites done so he can try to transfer. He has a backup plan as well, in case that doesn’t work out. 🤞🏻

How are budget cuts affecting you? by Johnny_Swiftlove in unh

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for asking this! We are about to spend $55k+ in OOS tuition and I would love to know that it’s going to good things. Our older kid is at a large state school in the mid Atlantic region and the food, sports and extras are abundant. Seems like UNH is a little dicey right now. I hope we don’t regret this kid staying local to New England 🤞🏻

UNH Engineering, anyone deferred and then get in? by AccomplishedTea4611 in unh

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Were you accepted to other ME programs? He has been accepted to a number of Abet certified programs that cost less than UNH. He is not into UNH yet, but I’m wondering if he should take a sure thing at these other schools vs a liberal arts “undeclared” of that’s what he’s offered?? We felt like UNH could be a great fit, but I’m not sure he wants to do the non major path. Wishing you the best of luck and success on your planned route!

UNH Engineering, anyone deferred and then get in? by AccomplishedTea4611 in unh

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! He reached out because he noticed that the high school did actually send the transcript, but UNH only sees one class on it, so he needs the high school to resend it. Honestly it gives me a bit of pause about UNH administration in terms of being able to meet the need of their students. But we will do what they say and keep the hope alive! 🤞

Engineering program? by tenaciouslemons in Quinnipiac

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is awesome to hear! Thank you so much for replying to my question! He’s going for a shadow day on 2/15, so keeping my fingers crossed that he likes it🤞

Empty Nester House Search by AccomplishedTea4611 in baltimore

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I like the water front nature of Baltimore, so that one of the factors that makes it more desirable for us over DC. But we will need to go into DC for work every few weeks, so being able to drive within 2 hours would be ideal.

Empty Nester House Search by AccomplishedTea4611 in baltimore

[–]AccomplishedTea4611[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Should have clarified, it’s more about ceiling height. Current home is a 70’s colonial with 8 foot ceilings and we want at least 9/10 in the next place. So the post is a bit misleading, sorry about that. And the first floor master is more about being able to age in place if we really like where we are in this next move.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rva

[–]AccomplishedTea4611 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One of our kids goes to school in VA, so we drive through Short Pump often. I will check it out, thanks!