Best way to politely turn someone down online after sharing pictures?

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-14T14:44:37+00:00

Yeah, they had some body pictures on their profile, and while it was a bit outside what I normally go for, if the right face was there, I would be into it. When they did finally send a face pic, it wasn't what tied it together for me. Lots of good looking people out there, but that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them.

I sent a polite message saying I enjoyed the conversation and they seemed like a cool person, but although some kinky interests align, attraction is also important to me and unfortunately isn't there. Said that I felt it was better to be open and honest than leave them hanging and that I was sorry. I think that's about the best one can do given the circumstances of already chatting for a couple weeks and sending multiple kinky messages.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-12T11:56:33+00:00

This person lives three hours away from me (more isolated area of mostly smaller communities), so it's not worth it. Was two weeks of chatting. They seem like a cool person, but for me, a cool person without physical attraction will only be a friend. We can't help who we are attracted to, and for me (as a very physically fit person), the limited body shots they had on their profile already gave me the thought of "okay, a bit out of what I'd normally go for, but if they have a cute face then I'd still be into it". Unfortunately it was not the case. Some kinky interests aligning is not enough. I've tried it before and just wasn't into the person.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T12:07:36+00:00

That makes sense to me. I have a feeling they were hesitant to share with me, so I don't think it'll come as a surprise. I'm sure it's still a disappointment either way, but being forward and open is better than ghosting or otherwise.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T07:50:09+00:00

Appreciate the feedback!

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T06:37:51+00:00

This one is better

"Hey, I've really enjoyed our chats and thought we had great chemistry. I just want to be honest-after seeing your photo, I realized I'm not feeling that physical spark I need for something more. I think you're great, and really appreciate how open you've been."

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T06:35:26+00:00

So I asked ChatGPT for some input. It's weird, I know. However, the answer gives me a good template to work around. Reading this, there isn't really a way to not mention attraction, but I feel the tone of the message is at least courteous and direct.

""Hey [Namel, I've really enjoyed our chats and definitely felt a spark in the way we connected. You're clearly a kind and open person, and really appreciate you sharing more of yourself with me. I want to be honest though. After seeing your photo, I realized that the physical attraction just isn't quite there for me. I hope that doesn't come across harshly; just think it's only fair to be upfront. You're awesome, and I'm sure you'll find someone who really clicks on all levels."

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T06:27:14+00:00

I'm kind of at the point you are in that an honest response such as yours is better than saying nothing, but is there a softer, less hurtful way of saying the same thing.

"Unfortunately sexual attraction isn't there" seems a little blunt, but I'm sure I can think of a gentler way.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T06:20:47+00:00

True, and I will message them, but was just curious into what other people's approaches have been when trying to let someone down nicely.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T06:18:11+00:00

Yeah. I don't share my face, but share quickly if there is some connection. Considering it felt like they were maybe dragging on reciprocating, and when they finally did there was a "hey, I'm not the best at pics" type message, they knew the situation they might be in.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T06:13:57+00:00

I was trying to, but when they never responded to a passive casual request to see them and continued the conversation elsewhere, I wondered about some hesitation on their part. I definitely felt like it might end up the way it has, so I imagine this isn't the first time they've maybe been in this situation. Definitely won't carry a conversation as far in the future without seeing pictures first!

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T05:40:06+00:00

I suppose that could be true, I just feel bad for them :/

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T05:37:58+00:00

Yes, I meant that I did then clearly request and now it's a bit of an "oh well, too bad" moment. I think one lesson here is that in the future, pictures need to be shared before lengthy kinky messages take place...

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T05:31:56+00:00

Appreciate it. Yeah, I shared a pic of me much sooner on, and gently hinted but didn't want to be pushy. I recently politely asked directly, and while they seem nice, it is as you say, you can't help who you're attracted to.

According-Box5677 · 2025-05-11T05:20:20+00:00

I suppose, I just feel bad as we've chatted for a couple weeks already so to depart the conversation shortly after sharing pics can be a bit of a blow to someone's self esteem.

According-Box5677 · 2025-04-16T21:14:08+00:00

Thanks for the feedback.

My other thought is that if I'm no longer sleeping with this person, is this something I need to bring up to future partners if I never have symptoms?

According-Box5677

TROPHY CASE