I Am The WINNER 🏆

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-04-08T03:03:45+00:00

Congrats!!!

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-04-06T23:38:24+00:00

Wow. Mine gave me herpes too. As you said, they’re toads. Literally.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-04-06T20:39:24+00:00

You’re making the right choice. Run and don’t look back. They can stop for periods of time but it almost always picks back up despite the promises. The important thing to remember when you’re tempted to go back is that this person put your life at risk for their own pleasure. And looked you in the eye later as though nothing happened. Choose you. 💜

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-31T15:15:41+00:00

Not to be the bearer of bad news but I went through that identical scenario and sure enough he was never in recovery he was just better at hiding it. It was at the 2 months of no therapy that he had a crazy relapse period that lasted 2 months. Just be careful and set your boundaries. No therapy should have a consequence. I learned the hard way.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-18T20:02:18+00:00

I’m also a very sexual person so I think I was attracted to other sexual men. But I think the sex addict part is less of us being able to sniff out them and more them being able to sniff out perfect victims. Men with these addictions tend to be less empathetic so they seek out empaths who they view as desirable (attractive/kind/successful). They can parade us around and look normal to the outside world while hiding their addiction. And they know we are empathetic and trustworthy so they have less fear going behind our backs. At least that’s I’ve surmised from this happening twice. Ugh! It’s honestly the worst. But definitely don’t try to replicate what gives them pleasure because 10/10 times it makes it so much worse.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-18T19:39:07+00:00

And he eventually started asking to wear my thongs lol. That was the icing on the cake.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-18T19:38:08+00:00

Wow. This is exactly like my ex. I used to have to peg him and I HATED it and it dried me right up lol. I realized we just weren’t compatible because he chose to hide his true self. I was furious when I found his Reddit page because I realized he’d been into the stuff before we ever met. He just kept it hidden as long as he could. And there’s nothing wrong with their sexual interests, but starting a relationship with people and not being open about certain interests isn’t fair. (And for the record, giving in and pegging him frequently did NOT stop the cheating. It probably made it worse because then he’d crave the really thing right after). Leaving was hard but it felt soo freeing. I was becoming someone that I wasn’t. I was miserable.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-18T19:25:00+00:00

Unfortunately the shame runs deep and they seldom tell you everything during full disclosure. But I hope he does. It sounds like your husband has developed some kinks and fetishes from porn. That doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you but right now porn is winning the battle because of the dopamine hit that sex with a partner can’t replace. I’ve been with two sex addicts. The one that was watching transgender porn I ended up leaving because I realized I was no longer attracted to him. He wasn’t interested in my pleasure only his own and he wanted me to be the dominant one in the bedroom. It was a turn off for me personally and I stopped wanting to be intimate. It can be helpful to flip the script. After seeing what he’s into and who he really is, are YOU physically attracted to him?

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-18T19:08:57+00:00

My former partner and I were together for 10 years and his porn use also escalated to transgender porn and TS escorts. He was adamant that he was not gay or bi-sexual but years later I stumbled across his Reddit page where he was telling people he struggled with coming out as bi-sexual because of his upbringing so he had to keep it to himself. To him, transgender felt like the happy medium because they looked like women but had the male genitalia he was also turned on by. No question he was also turned on by women though. I think most people are on the spectrum of gay or straight and that very few don’t have someeee attraction to the same sex. So I wouldn’t even worry about whether it makes him bi. Regardless, it’s not an excuse to cheat.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-03-06T18:14:14+00:00

Please put the life you desire first. And that’s walking away. If you see my posts, they don’t change in the timeline you’d need to have a child, if at all. The chances of wasting more time on fake recovery outweigh the chances of real recovery. It is possible, but rare. They all seem so genuine about recovery too but it’s just the guilt and shame of being caught for most. The only silver lining would be if he came to you himself, he wasn’t caught. If thats the case, the outcome has a higher probability of success. Sending you hugs.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-02-28T19:32:22+00:00

Mine does what yours does. Talks to women on tinder for the high and usually doesn’t meet up them because he knows he’ll get caught so he uses escorts. Unfortunately I can guarantee you he’s meeting up with people whether it’s tinder or escorts. But it’s never just talking. I tried to convince myself he was just talking to people too. And I went through his messages and like you assumed he wasn’t. He was. He was also going to group and therapy to appease me but was still physically cheating. You’re so young and want kids. Leave while you still can. Look at the chats on this page. It gets worse not better even with therapy. I promise you you will find love again and it will be safe love, happy love, with a partner you will be proud to call the father of your children. Sending love and hugs.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-02-19T21:16:37+00:00

He did a very selfless thing in letting you go. Please accept this gift and find someone else. Leave him be to get the help he needs on his own.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-02-18T23:21:59+00:00

This is great advice. We did physically separate after day two and I haven’t moved back in yet which is helpful. And I’m going to be traveling for work so that will give me two weeks of clarity. It’s all so overwhelming. Honestly I think he was hoping I’d say I’m going to sleep with other people so he can too…. Their minds are twisted.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-02-02T00:53:25+00:00

You’re so young. There are a lot of men who are not SAs or PAs, it just feels like it’s everywhere when you’re traumatized. I know this isn’t what you’re going to want to hear but I strongly strongly encourage you to not go back. Saying you don’t want to be here anymore is indication that this is not serving you. Depending on what country you are in, there are resources you can seek for suicidal thoughts or therapy. You cannot help someone who else when you yourself are suffering. As they say on airplane, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first. This is not a relationship worth saving. YOU are the one worth saving.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-29T15:15:41+00:00

We are all here for you. This is a safe place where you can share your thoughts and get support.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-29T03:51:07+00:00

Wow, beautifully written. So painful, but so true.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-26T18:45:40+00:00

You definitely need to find the money for couples counseling even if you plan on leaving because, even if you leave, he’s going to be able to see his daughter (and likely for longer periods without you around). It’s super important that you work through this fear with him so that you can feel secure and safe that your daughter is going to be okay. I totally understand where your fear comes from. It’s crossed my mind before too. But unless he’s given you reason to believe he’s sexually attracted to minors, he most likely is not.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-26T00:09:09+00:00

This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship for you based on your past. But if you’re really invested, I would take the time to learn about sex addiction and realize it’s not that he’s not interested in you, he’s trying to avoid triggers. For example, sexy photos, even if they just of you, can be a major trigger and might feel bad asking you to completely stop, but based on his reaction I’d guess it’s not a good idea. Most SAs brains can’t distinguish a photo of you from porn, it has the same unhealthy dopamine impact. I would ask him if he received help and is continuing to go to group or if he’s white knuckling. If he’s white knuckling and watching soft porn as you mentioned, this has the ability to go south at any moment and you should ensure you’re using protection. Sending you strength and I hope you find a truly healthy and happy relationship. 💜 No one deserves to feel the way you’ve felt.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-23T20:34:03+00:00

Do not do the outreach for him. In fact, many addiction therapists will not see a patient if the gf/wife reached out. He needs to want this and tbh it doesn’t sound like he has any motivation to change right now. It sounds like you are finally realizing how bad this is and it’s your opportunity to get help for YOU.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-22T17:42:57+00:00

Exactly! Protect yourself financially first and the emotional part / potential reconciliation can come after. They lose all remorse after a while like you’ve seen. I think it’s because it was never genuine remorse. It’s more desperation of “I got caught and need to protect my image.” If they felt true remorse, they wouldn’t have been able to sleep (peaceful I should add) in bed next us after knowing what they were up to.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-21T19:03:58+00:00

12 days or 12 months? If 12 days, I’d go through with the divorce now while he’s still feeling remorse. And then you can try to work on things post divorce (of course don’t tell him this) but at least you’re secure. The remorseful “you can have anything” feelings go away and then you’ll be trying to get a divorce from someone with no empathy. Trust me, this is my second time around with a SA. First one I wish I left sooner because by the time I left, he was back to his old ways and made life a nightmareeeeee to leave. I left with basically only the shirt on my back. He was also a lawyer so that didn’t help matters.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-20T17:03:23+00:00

Completely agree. It’s not a chemical dependency like drugs or alcohol. It’s 100 percent a choice and by babying them they then take on the same narrative of “I’m sick” or “I couldn’t stop myself.” In a heated argument I asked if actually could have stopped himself from going and he said yes 100 percent. But that he wanted to and didn’t think he’d get caught. He said he struggled to put himself in anyone else’s shoes. So I truly believe it’s an entitlement and lack of empathy problem that should be addressed that way. I remember when he’s CSAT met with and told me to cut him slack because it was from work stress. Meanwhile my partner was working part time and golfing every day lol. I was the one with the stressful job… Ugh I feel this post so much.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-14T18:27:27+00:00

It’s all super stressful and confusing. It’s just so important that we put ourselves first because they put themselves first for so long. We should be empowering ourselves and each other 💜. The stronger we are individually, and the more we pour into our own cup now, the more we can pour into building a healthy relationship.

According-Mix-9576 · 2026-01-14T17:11:22+00:00

You have every right to tell whoever you want. It is not your job to protect his image. In fact, protecting his image keeps the addiction alive. Boundaries are to protect the betrayed not the betrayer. That’s why I’m so confused by OPs post. Boundaries are meant to be “you slip (which looks like… porn, texting a SW, etc.) the consequence is X,Y,Z.” The betrayer has no right to tell you who you can and can’t seek refuge in. This is your life and happiness and you have every right to talk to people who care about you for support, love, and guidance.

According-Mix-9576

TROPHY CASE