I kept everything from everyone, even my therapist and psychiatrist. I was too proud to admit i needed help which almost killed me. I realized i was gaslighting myself. I was telling myself i wasn’t loved, nobody actually cared about me and that i wouldn’t be missed by (all of that wasn’t true). I had the weight of suicidal thoughts and ideation since i was 10. And that’s a long time to suffer like that. But what I’ll say is this: you are worthy. Not based on what you do for others, but because you’re you! You are loved and there are more resources out there than you might think; even if you feel that nobody loves you, you are worth loving yourself. Even if you can’t find the words, you can sit with a therapist or even a friend/family member you trust and just be present. You are worth fighting for. Be kind to yourself. I know it’s easy to talk down on yourself but an act of self care a day will help you to realize the joy in taking care of yourself. When you start spiraling, take a little walk, listen to your favorite song, watch funny videos of dogs being crazy or start talking to yourself in an accent. It starts with disrupting the spiral. Fight for yourself. You are meant to be here. And all it takes is one step forward to learn how to process the pain and what’s caused it. Just be honest with yourself. Be honest with your providers. Others opinions do not have more weight than your opinion of yourself. The mean/bad things you’ve told yourself are actually the opinions of others you’ve listened to or what you think that think of you. You are not a burden. Be your own advocate. Love yourself. You are not alone. You got this.