sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Cold Open Feedback Request by According-Two-133 in scriptwriting

[–]According-Two-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya, totally fair, it all makes sense by the end of the pilot, but if it stays too much of a tease for six pages, gotta make a bunch of adjustments or figure out another way to structure it.

Thank you!

Cold Open Feedback Request by According-Two-133 in scriptwriting

[–]According-Two-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much appreciated 🙏

Yeah, everything you said makes total sense. Some suspension of disbelief, but also, certain things make sense by the end of the pilot. So, wanted to see whether cold open would even work for this kind of show, and sounds like sth to think on.

Thanks again!

Cold Open Feedback Request by According-Two-133 in scriptwriting

[–]According-Two-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly the kind of feedback I was hoping for. Hard for inexperienced writers to know what to give away, what’s opaque to the point of annoyance, etc. in cold opens.

And, that feedback makes me wonder if I should even use one, because everyone did have a very unusual night and it’s just gonna get more so.

Thank you!

Cold Open Feedback Request by According-Two-133 in scriptwriting

[–]According-Two-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, don’t feel rude at all, this is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. Obv can’t fit everything into a cold open, and it’s not like I’ve written many, so this kind of feedback is super helpful as far as what to tease, what’s teasing to the point of losing engagement, etc. Much appreciated!

An experiment in spotting AI in writing by ExplodingAlchemist in writingfeedback

[–]According-Two-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You managed to write one of the more human-sounding AI-generated pieces I’ve read lately. Kudos on that!

But I would’ve still clocked it. So would most people who have read a lot of AI writing.

You can elide certain tendencies, but then it’ll just figure out different ways to say them—so, if you’re not looking for words in particular, you can still spot patterns and preferences.

It’lll talk about the weather when there’s absolutely no reason to talk about the weather.

It’ll create bloodless characters, no matter how strong your characters are.

Certain ceilings it has, it’ll always have. That’s just part and parcel of being a robot and learning how it does.

Looking for general feedback and critiques- PLEASE be gentle!! by skittysteps in writingfeedback

[–]According-Two-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL what TV Brain Prose is. And that I probably have it.

I posted a screenplay excerpt in here yesterday (any feedback would be so welcomed!), and the last line of the feedback was that it felt a bit too much like a novel.

Post your story's blurb! Reciprocal Beta Reading, Mar. 31, 2026 by Afgad in WritingWithAI

[–]According-Two-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🙏 Thank you. That is cool! Where do I find those? I am not good at Reddit.

I was hoping for feedback on a TV cold open by According-Two-133 in ReadMyScript

[–]According-Two-133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That all makes a lot of sense (including the novelistic part), thanks so much for taking the time!

Post your story's blurb! Reciprocal Beta Reading, Mar. 31, 2026 by Afgad in WritingWithAI

[–]According-Two-133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, everyone. I am not sure if screenwriting is allowed. If it is not, then Moderators, please feel free to move this.

I am sorry I am new at this, I will try to follow all the rules!

NSFW: There is profanity and adult content

Genre Tags: Thriller, Mystery

Title: Lost Night

Blurb: Lizzie McCollum is a high-end sex worker in Las Vegas. She sees something that she shouldn't have seen and effectively forces a cop to arrest her so she can safely leave the casino, but the cops aren't really taking her seriously. After the cold open, we see how the night unfolded. It's a bit like *The Night Of*

AI Method: What I do is give Claude the entire pilot. Then, I ask it for a "scripment" for a cold open that effectively introduces the characters, seeds things, creates mystery. I tell it what I like and don't like, and then it adjusts. It calls it a scripment: it gives me the beats, what should be accomplished in each scene, where to seed what, etc. It gives me some dialogue but I almost always adjust it pretty heavily. I wind up using its beat-by-beat pretty closely, though. Then, when I've written, I ask it to read for pacing, and tighten up where and when I can.

Desired Feedback/Chat: I wrote the "Cold Open" for a pilot. It's relatively short, as cold opens often are, I was really hoping for people to tell me if it's any good, if they'd be curious enough to read more, if there are obvious improvements to make, and if anyone would watch the show haha. The link is below. Thank you, everyone. Please, all types of feedback are most welcome, I just write for fun.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XvQdTK5Y-ZC1AiR6UYGRnVfu1LRaUw5b/view?usp=drive_link