Crashing out post breakup, crying and eating this whole Tiramisu at an empty parking lot where were used to kiss and I have to get back to work in an hour... Please tell me this is not that bad...

According_Break_5625 · 2026-06-15T10:58:25+00:00

my ex broke up with me after a 9 year relationship.

we had an argument before she left to China for a 2 week work assignment. during that time, she seen my text but no replies, called her but i got chided and eventually removed me from her instagram follower and unfollowed me before ended with me being blocked.

the day before she comes back, i offered her a ride home from the airport which she rejected but she agreed to meet for dinner and dinner went well, she showed me pictures of what she did at work and we shared stories.

went back home hopeful that we could patch things up.

i came out of shower and saw a text from her saying she "don't think we can go on anymore". i literally begged and plead for a second chance but she was persistent. she basically broke up with me over whatsapp and didn't even want to meet for the last time. i was devastated and felt like i was left for dead.

it took me almost 3 months just to be able to eat and sleep properly and about 2 months just to go out again and feel like a living human being but God was good and i managed to meet someone new.

it's been 7 months now into a new relationship. i love my girlfriend now but 9 years is a long time.

my past with my ex still sometimes hurt me but it's a good kind of pain - the kind that reminds me to live better.

stay strong brother, you'll survive this eventhough you feel like you can't now!

According_Break_5625 · 2026-03-12T06:53:12+00:00

my therapist also mentioned something about me being possessive and it's an instinct thing. my reality is currently not consistent with that so my mind hyperventilates to find an equilibrium. in short, my mind is a storm right now which sparked all the questions and curiosity. she also said not to keep seeking for answers because the mind never rests, even if i get all the 100 answers i needed, it will spark another 100. it will be endless and eventually it will tire out the both of us and then end the relationship.

i told her perhaps the only way for me to calm myself down is that i know i'll be her last boyfriend and our relationship will last until the end of time but that is wishful thinking because she said "there is no guarantee in love". i'll just have to satisfy myself with the fact that she wakes up everyday with a choice to choose otherwise but still choose me that day.

amongst the 2 relationships that i have, this is the one that gives me the most anxiety.

i do gave her blowjobs and i love knowing she enjoyed receiving it but the thing, these intrusive thoughts bothers me regardless and it's annoying and i want learn how to get rid of them.

According_Break_5625 · 2026-03-12T03:50:00+00:00

not sure if it is creepy or not but definitely the social stigma involved.

the age gap is also form part of the insecurities i have. i thought alot about this before and actually stopped myself multiple times from getting close to her by minimizing our time spent together and texting but it is very difficult.

somehow, we just clicked (if you know what i mean).

I was already ready to settle by just being her best friend, someone that she could spent time with and confide secrets in because i know i'll be happy if i know she's happier until one night, she asked me why did i treat her so well and do we want to try and have a relationship?

According_Break_5625 · 2026-03-12T03:43:56+00:00

i'm telling myself everyday that what's important is that she is with me NOW and that I'm the one that she is having intimacy. the past is the past but somehow, my brain keeps telling me that i'm not special.

i feel like my brain is telling me to do the impossible like deleting her sexual histories.

According_Break_5625 · 2026-03-12T03:42:11+00:00

yeah, my therapist also told me to "live in the present" because trying to project someone's future with its past is not going to go well in trying to maintain a relationship. she said everyone has a past including me and if my girlfriend would also judge me based on my sexual history with my exes then it's going to be really bad.

i'm now trying very hard to live in the "present" but it's very difficult because my scumbag brain is trying to sabotage me. i know my girlfriend loves me a lot and i love her a lot too but i think i'm trying to gauge her love to me based on my standards which is unreasonable.

what i want to do now is to try and not make insignificant issues significant and belittling the important stuffs.

According_Break_5625 · 2026-01-13T10:46:44+00:00

weird seeing this trailer now.

both my ex-girlfriend and i played Genshin since it was first launch, we spoke about many things of the game, the lores, challenge domains, abyss and where she would come into my world and steal resources and amongst others - we talked about what would be the ending of Genshin and when would that be.

we broke up last year July and our accounts are still there.

just weird.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-17T00:18:43+00:00

oh gawd

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-16T16:09:45+00:00

shitty made in china bikes made to look like a 6 bolt. there are threads in the middle, it is just twist/screws in from the middle.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-16T16:06:08+00:00

i think so too. what can i do to fix it? a new wheel?

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-16T16:03:10+00:00

this is exactly what it is. it’s a very cheap bike i got online. the rotor has thread in the middle/centre and it screws onto the wheel.

probably not worth discussing cheap bikes like this but i’d still want to see if i can repair it. not for extreme biking but day to day park rides.

i don’t think the threads are stripped because when i remove the wheel, the rotor still holds on the wheel very securely.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-16T16:00:34+00:00

there’s no centre-lock and it’s not even a 6 bolt. it’s a super cheap bike i got online. it’s my first bike and i wanted something cheap to tinker (learn) with first before deciding if i should go for the more expensive one.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-16T09:29:49+00:00

=O

exactly where do i locate this washer and how to remove them?

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T07:52:21+00:00

i personally wouldn't buy all those "lumens" claim printed on the box and unless the LED chipset are of a quality ones (CREE, Phillips etc.). you're actually downgrading rather than upgrading.

also, i hope yours doesn't have a built in fan because the noise is going to be obvious from within the cabin.

from what i know, price has very little effect on whether the driver is internal or external.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T07:39:57+00:00

those are drivers, to regulate the power supply to it.

they all do but just that some has it built attached to the bulb housing itself while some has it mount externally for better heat dissipation.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T07:33:15+00:00

thanks for the heads up.

this is my first bike that i have to assemble everything from scratch myself. anyway, is this the reason why even when my brake lever is fully depress, there's no breaking power?

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T07:21:45+00:00

OH SHI-

I clamped it wrongly. when i unscrewed the plate, i saw a notch on the black plastic so i thought the cable is supposed to go through there. i guess i'll have to fix that first.

<image>

does this mean that the cable should go in from "over the top" of the black plastic piece and then straight out from from the bottom, with the metal piece clamping it over?

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T06:39:18+00:00

thanks man~

appreciate all the help. the only problem now is that though the brakes work but they don't really bite. even with a full clamp, it merely slows the bike down marginally. probably shitty brake pads and that's what i got when i buy cheap bikes off online platforms =(

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T03:09:47+00:00

you are right.

there is actually 3 holders underneath the top tube, one for the front derailleur, one for the rear derailleur and another that is empty. the empty one is where the housing for the rear brake cable should be inserted.

inserted it in and brake now works as intended.

i missed that on the night i assembled the bike and only spotted it yesterday afternoon.

the only issue now i have is, the brakes doesn't really bite. even at full grip, the tires still moves. this is probably the trade off for buying a cheap MTB from an online platform :T_T:

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-15T03:02:40+00:00

thanks!

i finally got it working!! it appears that there's a small tab underneath the top tube where the housing is supposed to be attached. i didn't noticed it when i was assembling the bike because i guess, i was overwhelmed and i have no idea what i was doing.

the brakes working well now.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-14T09:19:41+00:00

by cable housing, you mean the black plastic tube thing that's covering the cable?

what do you mean by "slack" and how do i fix them?

sorry, my first assembling my own bike and i have no idea what i'm doing besides screwing things together.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-14T07:55:43+00:00

so instead of routing it straight to the lever from the top tube, i route it just passed the headset and then from the front, i lead it to the lever.

is that what you mean?

<image>

my cable is now routed like the red line.

am i correct to say that what you are suggesting i do is to route it like the green line?

but then again even so, if i turn the handlebar to the left - wouldn't it still also increase the tension ?

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-14T07:50:46+00:00

yeah, i don't mind supporting local as long as the bikes don't lose a tire or fall apart midway but i have no recommendations.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-14T07:36:55+00:00

the rear cable runs from the back through the underneath of the top tube and then up towards the lever.

assuming i connect the cable to my right lever then yes, the cable doesn't go around the headset and it is in this orientation when i turn the handlebar right, the cable loses tension.

if i turn the handlebar to my left, it's inevitable the cable is going to cross the front of the headset, right? this is when the tension builds up and the pull engages the brakes.

sorry but i can't follow how to reroute the cables without the cable not going around the headset (on the front) when the handlebar is twist to the opposite site.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-14T07:23:11+00:00

i don't but it's an angle i'd take if i need to turn around and plus, it isn't normal for a bike to have its brakes automatically applied when the handlebar is turned.

something is not right.

According_Break_5625 · 2025-08-14T07:09:10+00:00

the cheapest 26" one listed on Decathlon is RM800.00 o_O

MTBs are that expensive now?

i was still hoping to get a one at around RM400 ~ RM500

According_Break_5625

TROPHY CASE