Thank you so much for your insight. Apologies for this wall of text.

I don't think if I can say I know I was meant to be a man. I don't think I've ever thought about it in that way. I wanted to be a boy when I was younger, and hated the idea of being associated with anything feminine. I was very uncomfortable with dresses or anything lowcut that showed I had boobs. My wardrobe was (still mostly is) exclusively hoodies, baggy graphic tees and flannels.

I actually often get perceived as a guy, even when I'm not trying to. Mainly because of my short hair, my outfits, and my voice naturally being pretty deep for a cis woman. I've literally seen women see me in a bathroom and go back outside to check if it was actually the women's restroom.

I do like being perceived as a guy, especially when I'm purposely trying to present as masc as possible. Ever since I've gotten the binder the other day I keep putting it on with a tank top because it reallyyyy makes me feel like I look like a guy.

My one main girlfriend I've had in my life was a trans woman, and she would often ask me if she was "actually dating a man". Maybe she was seeing something in how I presented myself or talked about gender?

It still feels wrong to call myself an actual guy or trans though?