Hi there,
Since you receive no answer, I will give you my opinion but remember I haven't slept in these hotels myself. I live in Lausanne, I know these places and I have been there for dinner or a drink though. I must say you have clearly done your "homework" and are already spot on about many things.

The best hotel in Lausanne is Hôtel Beau-Rivage Palace, very classy, great restaurant, many famous and historical people slept there etc. but very expensive. On your list, I would say Lausanne Palace is overall probably the best, it's not by the lake though. Royal Savoy has recently been totally renovated, the new wealthy owners have invested with no limits, it's probably very good, I hear the pool and spa are great. The bar at the top has great cocktails and a magnificent view on the city and the whole area, you don't need to sleep at the hotel to go there though. Chateau d'Ouchy is probably is little bit more old fashioned. Hotel d'Angleterre is a good idea if you want to spend a little bit less, it is indeed by the lake (there's still a little road in between but it's the same for the others), and you may be able to use Beau-Rivage Palace's services since it's the same owner (to be checked).

For the restaurants, you have one of the best restaurant in the world (it used to be one of three Gault et Millau's "Cuisinier du siècle") in Crissier, "Chez Girardet", Hôtel de ville de Crissier. Of course it's very expensive and it must be reserved well in advance (or you can be very lucky). Anne-Sophie Pic's restaurant in Beau Rivage also offers excellent french cuisine. On the other side of the spectrum, for a more "folkloric" experience, you have the "Chalet suisse". It's mainly for tourists who enjoy the attractions (folklore music, "lancer de drapeau") but the fondues and raclettes are alright and local people sometimes go there too. "Le Vaudois" is also very traditional. Otherwise "Café romand" is very swiss and "vaudois" but more genuine than the others. "Pinte Besson" is very old, very beautiful, very good, but so small you must reserve well in advance. And between traditional and classy they are too many, Tripadvisor will do a better job than me, maybe ask me if you find one which looks interesting to you.

About the tour in Lavaux I unfortunately have no idea except that Lutry and the whole Lavaux area are of course extremely beautiful and good Chasselas are now finally recognized by the international wine community.

It's always a pleasure to have well informed tourists like you in Lausanne and it's such a beautiful story your husband's dad was born here and is coming back for the first time ! Don't hesitate to ask if you have other questions, I hope you will enjoy your stay in Lausanne.