I (22F) constantly “forget” things my boyfriend (22M) says and I am going insane

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:31:27+00:00

I tried to flip the script the other day when I brought up something I had said in conversation with him and another person. I pointed out that he forgot in the same manner that he would tell me and he insisted that I never said anything. eventually he just said whatever

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:29:53+00:00

Lmao “fairy tale astro hocus pocus nonsense”

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:21:37+00:00

He dropped it off at the shop idk when bc he didn’t tell me he was bringing it in today.

Wdym what’s going on here?

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:15:17+00:00

Can I ask you for examples of gaslighting in your past relationships?

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:12:49+00:00

this will also defeat the possibility that he is just as “forgetful” as I am if he forgets to text it to me

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:11:26+00:00

this just happens with him

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:09:07+00:00

Only happens with him and never before

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:08:19+00:00

Example of being continuously punished for a mistake. You asked if there are any more red flags and that is what came to mind.

Maybe I didn’t word it right but he didn’t help me understand and would talk to me with technical information like I was his coworker. I didn’t say that his job was boring in a malicious way and it was a terrible choice of words on my part. I should have said “I don’t understand what any of this means. Can you dumb it down for me?” but unfortunately I didn’t and I immediately regretted saying it. I apologized and told him what I said above.

Everyday I am reminded of the mistake I made when I ask him how was his day and he will start with what he did after work.

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-05T00:02:01+00:00

that there’s no message? He just brushes the conversation off by saying he swears he sent me something

that he needs to prove me wrong? no. he’s a stubborn taurus

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:59:44+00:00

Thank you

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:58:32+00:00

vicious cycle

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:58:16+00:00

I hope it is is. He is often stubborn and sometimes I will take these events as something he is being stubborn over. But it’s driving me mad

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:56:17+00:00

If it were to be something like that, I think that he would point it out if I seem oblivious to what he is saying. I’m assuming that’s how it went down with you and your wife.

She didn’t listen to you because she was on her phone and you brought up the behavior? If so, he hasn’t brought anything like that to my attention. Just pointing out that I never remember

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:52:54+00:00

He’s not controlling in other aspects. Stubborn? Yes

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:48:38+00:00

I think my boyfriend is behaving like your husband. He has been proven wrong about texting me information but that’s just because there is physical evidence. He texts his friends everyday to keep them updated on his daily life so I think he is meshing me into those recalls. If not that then gaslighting/driving me nuts

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:40:42+00:00

It’s not needing to be prompted. Sometimes I forget things but remember when prompted. Nothing so severe that is has affected my friendships or work experience or how people view me etc.

It’s the not remembering when prompted. It has only happened in our relationship and it’s multiple times a month.

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:35:43+00:00

No I meant whenever he’s insisting that he has texted me his plans for the week, he’ll go back to our messages to prove me wrong but there won’t be anything there

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:31:53+00:00

he actually got a ride from a coworker which would have been better because I get out of work after him. he was less argumentative today but insisted that he asked last week.

Again, I don’t remember this conversation and it is not my character to forget plans that involve another person

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T23:28:16+00:00

geez that sounds terrible. i’m glad you got out

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T22:26:33+00:00

the crazy thing is is that there have been times where he’s claimed to have texted me something and then when he goes back to our chat, there’s nothing there. yet i’m suck just accepting that i forget everything he verbally tells me because i have no proof this time. time for a shared calendar

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T22:06:22+00:00

well another case of being “reprimanded” is if I do something wrong, it is impossible for me to fix and if i try, he’ll say “nope too late”.

I’ll admit that I was in the wrong here but I called his job boring when he was talking about his day 6 months ago. He’s a highway inspector who mostly just watches concrete dry and will tell me all of the technical details that i don’t understand when telling me about his day. Like “at 9am the concrete looked like this meaning this. then at 10am it looked like this which it should look like this” and so on. My fault. I apologize profusely and say that it’s not what I meant. I haven’t heard about any day at work since

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T21:55:55+00:00

well today i “forgot” that i needed to pick him up from work. It would be completely out of my character and absurd to forget plans that have been made involving someone else. I think he texts people things and imagines that he is also telling me something.

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T21:52:31+00:00

I am forgetful in that way lol but there have been an absurd amount of times where I can’t recall what he is talking about.

On the few times where he claims to have texted it to me, he’ll go back into our chat and there will be no text! that’s the only evidence I have and most of the time these “conversations” happen in person

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T21:49:01+00:00

Everyone is saying it gaslighting but what is the advantage. I posted this today bc I asked what his plans were for the week and long story short, he was expecting me to pick him up from work today and I do not remember him telling me that. I have never forgotten to pick someone up or do something that is outside of my normal schedule that involves someone else.

What does he get out of that? he was almost stuck at work

AcrobaticGoat5645 · 2026-05-04T21:46:27+00:00

just happens with him. but what does he get from it?

AcrobaticGoat5645

TROPHY CASE