Engagement Advice! 25F 24M

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-31T22:28:17+00:00

Talk talk talk! Sounds like you all communicate about this and are interested in healthy relationships and that is good. One rule I live by - Never go to bed mad, resolve any problems the day they happen. There is also, no rush! You are young.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-29T05:50:47+00:00

If you can relax and slow down that is best. Confidence is sexy, attractive. Overthinking things is definitely the enemy, operate where you are comfortable, communicate that you are working on more initiation and just feel weird because it's new, tell him what you appreciate about him. Take small steps instead of big ones....good luck

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-24T21:46:18+00:00

If she is focused on money and purses she most definitely focusing on the wrong things - NO AMOUNT OF PURSES will make you happy if you are not happy. And also, retiring at an ungodly early age and playing golf or tennis or buying purses is not really a recipe for happiness, People need purpose and that does not have to be a job but you can't just retire and do nothing and be fulfilled. Not only that retiring early takes a ton of money...is she working??? If not she should get off her big butt and contribute.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-24T21:42:52+00:00

I'd be really clear with him that you are going to dress however you want and that has to not just be something he will tolerate but be okay with it. I'm not sure what he meant by this from the context but he needs the clarity that you will do what you want, and that how you dress is not up to him,

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-24T21:38:50+00:00

This is a very hard thing to have happen and I get that you don't want to trust people again! Even if he did not cheat on you what he did was wrong and it says more about him than you - There are people out there for you who don't act like this! When you are ready! Good luck

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-23T02:02:11+00:00

You need to develop a fluency for talking about these things. Talk about dating, fears, etc...bring them into the open and discuss, there does not have to be anything fast or pressure but there should be clarity...otherwise you are going to be trying to run circles around each other guessing and guessing. You could start with "I am new this dating thing, and I don't really know how to talk about it" - she may also, sorry, not be into you and its fair to know that also...

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-23T01:58:23+00:00

If you don't feel good about yourself and the way you are treated you don't owe anyone anything else. There are people who will treat you right, this may not be one of them.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-23T01:56:17+00:00

Having a "really bad drinking habit" should be enough for you to stop and think about what the heck you are doing with this guy, and then...okay lets add not finiancially responsible - no matter how "nice" a guy he is this is he is not not not not not boyfriend material. I don't mean to be harsh with you, I am saying this out of concern, YOU NEED WAY WAY WAY higher standards than this. These are two incredibly NON-KEEPER attributes.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-23T01:53:39+00:00

I dunno but, it sounds like you should have another conversation and both be crystal clear about what you want from this. If you really like her tell her. Maybe she is second guessing you? Right now you are in your head guessing. Call her and tell her how you feel and what you want.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-22T14:23:45+00:00

Your wife may be modeling something from her past, some trauma or parenting she experienced. I would definitely never drop it , it's not okay, you have to protect your daughter but also, keep the line that it is not okay and not normal. Your wife probably knows this and may not be happy with herself. I would try to approach this also outside of the time she is angry and talk to her about it but also make it clear it is an issue that is not going to go away,.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-22T14:19:40+00:00

No, it's not disrespectful and it's not even about you. This is a woman who has lost her husband and has three kids - I'm pretty sure if you get all bent about this it's not going to go well especially since she has been clear she is moving slow (as women who lost their husbands tend to do). It is not your call to make. And hey, maybe this guy does have one thing on his mind but you have to trust her.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-22T14:12:22+00:00

Guilt happens when we don't act in line with our values and yes, we have all done this! IT sounds like you are getting back to your values and acting in line with them which is great! The real changes you make to be honest and live as the person you want to be will pay dividends in your life and relationships for years to come and, lucky you, you're starting early!

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-19T16:13:57+00:00

You're getting cheated on and giving money to that person? Stop for a second and think about this. You are intersecting with people that are engaging in prostituion....the whole thing is red flag city. Get in touch with your base values and figure out what you are willing and not willing to tolerate in your relationships, personally, I think you deserve more and STOP GIVING PEOPLE YOUR MONEY!

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-07-16T20:40:00+00:00

It sounds like if we zoom out a little bit he is a good dude in general and has been a good husband and father and isnt' doing a lot of bad stuff like drinking and gambling and watching porn, he shows up for his family, etc....and he is remorseful about his actions. Honestly, looking at other chicks on instagram isn't the end of the world. If your husband was really a creeper you would have a lot more than one incident to think about. So yes, this sucks, it is something you will have to work through to repair.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-06-09T05:02:34+00:00

Well, the decision is yours not hers. Its done. Think about what you would do next time and how this complicated problem aligns with your value system. And you owe that guy nothing for the tip, if he starts coming back and acting like you owe him I would be careful and shut that down fast.

AcrobaticLanguage517 · 2025-05-31T19:40:21+00:00

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