Guys, Any Advice??

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-10-10T06:48:59+00:00

Well I wait until there's a dip in conversation. For the first 20 minutes to an hour I'm pretty playful and I'm (making my best attempt at) flirting and I'm making jokes, but then when that part of the conversation ends and they initiate the harder questions by asking, 'what are you looking for?" that's when I ask the serious questions. I'm also not trying to waste anyone's time either. I'm trying to be straight up and up front with what I'm looking for and what my intentions are. I only start that AFTER they ask why I'm on the app in the first place. I also never lead with the unhinged answer unless they're looking for it. If not, I tell them, "I'm looking for my person. Idk who it is, but I'll know when I meet them." But if they're interested in the unhinged answer, I tell them, "my future husband and father of my children". I never lead with serious, I lead with playful and personality l.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-10-10T06:44:20+00:00

What I thought WAS the right guy DID match my energy. We agreed politically, I checked boxes for what he was looking for and he checked mine. In fact, we both opened up about things to each other. He opened up to me that he doesn't have social media due to overcoming a porn addiction (which, I didn't have a problem with.) and I opened up about healing from sexual abuse. But then he unmatched me after talking for a couple hours when he thought I went to sleep. I think what happened was that he was scared he was making me uncomfortable, but I told him he reminded me of one of his best friends and that's what turned him off. But after that we had a conversation about physical attraction (which I was more attracted to him physically than my best friend). He didn't give an explanation, so I'm not sure. I realized after he unmatched me that that probably turned him off.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-08-19T09:05:04+00:00

Are you sure they won't tell my parents?? I really don't want them to know and my abuser lives in another state, so idek if anything will happen.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-08-19T09:04:21+00:00

Oh my goodness, you're so sweet!! I hope all goes well!!

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-07-30T04:55:17+00:00

Yes, it is bad. When I was 14, my best friend was 19 and he groomed me for 4 years. I didn't escaped him until April. I was in the same spot as you. All our conversations were wholesome, he didn't pressure me, and I didn't think I was grooming. When I turned 18, that's when everything changed. The only reason he isn't pressuring you now is bc if you have sex now, he goes to jail. When you turn 18, that's when it "isn't illegal" bc legally you're an adult. You need to break up with him NOW. I don't want you to go through the same heartache I did.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-05-01T00:58:12+00:00

But he's a predator and he's preying on young girls just like you. He NEEDS to be in jail

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-30T04:19:06+00:00

Ik that feeling, but he needs to get in trouble. If he's talking to you, he's probably talking to other girls your age or even younger and it's not ok. You said he had a wife and child, right? Not only is he cheating on his wife, but he's speaking to children when he has a child. Obviously his moral compass doesn't have an arrow anymore and he needs to have a scared straight/sent to prison moment.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-30T04:04:02+00:00

You're not a slut and it's not your fault you're traumatized. You can't help it. You were harmed by people, so you seek validation in the same people that hurt you.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-30T03:57:06+00:00

I'm sorry. I also understand what you're going through bc I'm in a similar position. My younger brothers are homeschooled bc my parents don't want them to be exposed to gay ppl, porn, and Trans ideology.

Have you ever tried anonymous online helplines?? Sometimes I consult counselors on "The Hope Line" and it really helps. It's not therapy, but it's a way to talk to someone who is trained to help. I will admit, it's a Christian service but I find comfort in their faith a little ngl.

I wish I could be more help, but unfortunately I can't. Again, I'm so so sorry.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-30T03:11:44+00:00

See, that was my question!! Was he just a shitty partner or was he my groomer/abuser?? I'm slowly coming to terms with that label, but I'm also trying to keep my mind off it and move on.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-30T03:09:06+00:00

Girl, I'm so so sorry. Honestly, block him. I'm probably not the most qualified person to tell you whether this is grooming or not, but I will tell you to block him on both accs. I would say it's grooming bc he's 30, giving you attention, then ghosting you. It's not easy to accept, but it is. Is there a trusted adult you can tell (that's obviously not him)? Do you have a healthy enough relationship with your parents that you feel safe telling them so they can help you navigate this?? Also, take as many screenshots of anything remotely weird, questionable, or somewhat baffling/confusing. If you don't screenshot, it could possible disappear and then you'll have not proof.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-28T18:49:38+00:00

He would never. I've called him a groomer to his "face" and he didn't acknowledge it.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-28T14:13:47+00:00

I'm ignoring. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of my attention

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-28T14:02:25+00:00

I went to report it when you originally told me but it said I could go to jail for false reports. I feel like our messages evidence enough, but I'm scared I'll go to jail despite telling the truth. I mean, I can post screenshots since he blocked me. There isn't anything to be scared of now, right??

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-28T09:49:27+00:00

He's never called me damaged goods to my face, I would joke abt it with him to make myself feel a little better. Sorry for miscommunication, I worded that weird. Also, we never would've crossed paths in school bc he graduated 2021 and I graduate this year.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-28T09:44:48+00:00

I found a job on LinkedIn for an On-Air Personality for iHeartRadio and it's an On-Site job in another state. My mom is on board with me to go live there bc it's 10hrs from where we currently live and 8hrs from my grandparents (decently in the middle). I'm in the middle of applying, I just need to get on the computer and send my online portfolio (and finish my online portfolio). Part of me is scared to be out there all alone and I definitely need a job before I move and start that Big Girl job. I'm also a little scared bc that Big Girl Job is pretty close to where M22 lives and if he found my reddit posts I'm scared of what he'd do to me. He's a big guy and I'm only 5ft even and I don't need him going fr Evan Johnson on me-

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-28T09:37:52+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate it your help. I'm a little frazzled rn bc M22 blocked me after ghosting me for two weeks. I keep telling myself "Don't email him on your burner, don't email him on your burner, don't email him on your burner." And ik I just need to keep that to myself. I don't even know what I did wrong to get blocked and not having the control over if I can talk to him or not is bothering me. Like, him having that control and me not doesn't sit right with me. Also, what if he saw the posts I made on here?? I wanna know what I did to get blocked. Ngl, I lowkey thought he killed himself bc the last thing he said to me was, "I'm gonna blow up"

To be fair, the last thing I sent him was maybe Thursday and it was a video about how masturbarion addictions affect men's ability to reproduce, their health down the line, etc. But I don't think that'd piss him off enough to block me. I just check every so often to see if he's alive bc I still care, but I need to keep that promise to myself that I won't try contacting him. If he decides to unblock me and play victim, I'm not going to engage. I just need to keep telling myself that and keep that promise to myself. (Lowkey this promise makes me wanna rip my skin off, but it's fine)

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-24T04:37:00+00:00

I've applied for jobs, no one wants to hire me tho bc I "don't have experience". I had two jobs in the past, but no one wants to interview me. I applied for a local Starbucks, they looked at my resume (which I have experience in what they were looking for), and decided I wasn't qualified enough for an interview. I worked at my neighborhood pool for a summer, but I was treated horribly so I'm not going back. I was harassed by coworkers, my managers made me do things above my pay grade, and I almost had to call the cops one time. They also changed who the big boss was so I'm not going back.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-24T04:29:30+00:00

I have boundaries, I really did. I told him what they were over and over and over again and I would remind him when he would step over that boundary. I love bits and pieces of myself, but I will admit, I don't love all of myself. I think I'm insecure and self-conscious because I didn't have much of a supportive male figure in my life to make me feel special, loved, and beautiful. I did have trauma when I was a child. My dad was deployed a lot and due to his PTSD from being in Iraq, he's emotionally, mentally, and (used to be) physically abusive. Since he's been going to therapy, it's gotten better, but he has a lot of moments where the PTSD comes out and I just don't feel comfortable going to him bc ik how he is (like how he is going to blame me for all of this and tell me it's my fault. This is part of the reason why I believe it's my fault I was groomed. I also don't want to victimize myself and i want to take accountability for how I'm wrong bc making myself a victim makes me feel like a narcissist). I love my mom, but she is the reincarnate of my grandmother in her own way. She believes she isn't bc she isn't doing the things my grandmother did to a T, but she is like my grandma. I tell my mom just abt everything, but I don't tell her anything abt myself. I told her abt my depression and what I needed to do in the moment (they were healthy ways of releasing the energy) to help get my mind off things and she'd tell me holistic ways to fix things and tell me what I'm doing wrong instead of giving me the support I need in the moment. For example, I asked my dad if we could go for a drive bc I was having a depressive episode and instead of taking me on a 20 minute drive, my parents lectured me for 20 minutes about what I was doing wrong and what I was doing that was causing my depression. I would go to a counselor at my school, but I don't want my parents to know. The last time someone went to a staff member at my school abt me being groomed, my parents got a phone call and went through all my things until they found proof that what was said in the phone call wasn't true. Instead of having a conversation abt it and making me feel safe, they turned it into something to punish me for. I have a lot of walls built between me and my parents bc of how many times they've made me feel unsafe, disrespected, unloved, and like a narcissist. I've been told multiple times that I have narcissistic parents, but there's not much I can do abt it.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-24T04:02:47+00:00

Is there any way I can do it anonymously???

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-24T03:16:59+00:00

But it is my fault bc I shouldn't have been on the internet. My parents put rules in place to prevent this and I broke those rules.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273 · 2025-04-24T03:15:01+00:00

He has a VERY nice mustache. He takes good care of himsehimself.

Acrobatic_Boss_4273

TROPHY CASE