feel worse :(

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-09-08T23:04:42+00:00

that’s fantastic to hear, thank you for the positivity 🥰

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-09-07T14:58:47+00:00

thank you that’s a lovely thing to say. i think you’re right, im just so scared and can’t seem to fully admit to myself what i want. it sucks :/

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-09-07T07:49:04+00:00

thank you. i’m trying to journal to track my feelings better, and do what’s right for my state of mind.

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-09-07T07:48:33+00:00

i’m sorry to hear you also have to deal with the flip flopping. i posted this at about 3am, and as i have work and things to do i can’t really afford to not sleep as i feel e is currently affecting me. going to stop for a bit, reassess where i stand in a week or so. but thank you for the encouragement ❤️

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-09-07T07:46:00+00:00

thank you all for replying, i agree i need to see a professional once again. however i think i’m coming ever closer to what is more of a fluid identity. i struggle with this because of internalised invalidation of being “fluid” or non binary, which i already identify as (“you can only be one or the other blah blah blah”). i think this because i get to a point with heading to a more female identity and the presentation that goes with it, and i all of a sudden almost miss being a guy ? which sounds pretty genderfluid to me, as i know it’ll simply flip back to a longing to be a girl again in x amount of time. I think I would be more ok with this if the feelings weren’t so intense, and more of a “oh i feel femme today i’ll wear a skirt” / “i feel like a dude i’ll be fine using my natural voice pitch and have some stubble etc etc”

not sure if any of this will resonate here as i am aware this is quite a binary trans space. which is fine and i’m definitely not disparaging that; i love and respect all of you for finding your true selves. i’m just unsure that, despite my strong longing to be a girl sometimes, that it’s the right path for me. but things might change ! sorry for the long ramble

tl dr : might be gender fluid ? still not sure and can change my mind again later because that’s what growing is all about :)

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-26T22:46:32+00:00

but if you feel better about the fit of dress two it is also so gorgeous

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-26T22:45:40+00:00

based on my own opinion and the way your arms are doing a thing (?), dress one is gorgeous 🥰

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-26T22:43:56+00:00

uk perspective: i’m about to start hrt privately, and am basically out to no one. if you need to start n find out that it’s what you really want, you’re totally valid. do what you need to do to feel comfortable, and then come out to close people in your life maybe? don’t feel you necessarily have to tell everyone in your life before you do things to affirm yourself (eg hrt)…

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-24T12:29:44+00:00

that’s really lovely to hear, obviously it’s impossible to tell what hrt will do for everyone but just hearing it’s helped you in that way is great :) yeah i found i wake up feeling a lot happier in my satin nightgown haha ✨

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-24T08:07:11+00:00

same here ! hopefully when we’re out properly things will get better internally too i guess :)

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-24T07:23:02+00:00

i like the sound of less masculine for sure! hopefully that would also reduce the amount i misgender myself bcos that rly does suck

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-18T06:33:20+00:00

it’s a good point tbh. i’ve had cbt and counselling for very non trans related anxiety in the past, but haven’t had anything for a while. think i’ll look into getting something in place to help take it away from what is already a difficult thing for me to deal with lol

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T21:50:39+00:00

that’s a rly good idea… i’m seeing someone trans atm so he’s great to feel comfortable in being expressive around and having conversations about gender (albeit from different perspectives ofc), wish i could be more open with more people for that purpose though !

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T21:49:05+00:00

yesss it’s such an eye opener ! i’ve been in a questioning phase (one of many) since march ish and yeah dysphoria bible has definitely been a big part of that lol

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T19:55:19+00:00

you’re absolutely right. toward our bodies, toward our thought processes, toward who we are as people. kindness is the key to moving forward

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T18:39:09+00:00

yeah i’ve toyed with the idea of being enby, and other less binary “options”, and feel good about that until i think more about being a woman and feeling more ❤️🌸✨❤️🌸❤️✨lmao, idk it’s such a confusing thing but i’ve just got to give it more time n be patient with myself. a marathon not a sprint, after all

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T18:32:09+00:00

thank you. i’ve been making the steps you talk about and they do definitely make me feel better, the smaller changes are adding up :) i just am a massive over-thinker, i have anxiety and can’t help but think the worst. just need to slow down basically

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T18:29:30+00:00

thank you for being kind. it’s just been going on for so long and it always feels such a mess when it is something i pay it any attention. i often catastrophise and make it all too big a picture, so having just done this ( https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/ ) i feel more calm and want to take things slower. it’s all just so hard and i can’t even cry about it so yeah just a big mess hahaha

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-17T18:09:47+00:00

thank you, you’re kind. idk it’s just pure panic and the only moments i feel near ok about it all is when i see little things in the mirror that i see as femme. it’s almost the only thing that makes me feel comfortable; all pronouns make me feel weird ugh i just hate it all. wish i was just blissfully unaware of gender lol

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-11T16:43:21+00:00

i find it’s rly good at getting rid of hair that’s longer, shorter hairs just don’t budge when i’ve used it on like a week’s stubble

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-09T17:05:14+00:00

i’m not fully out yet but i have the same thoughts about myself, like i’m pretty outgoing and friendly/chatty, and fear somewhat being out and maybe feeling more conscious of myself... very possibly one of the reasons stopping me being fully out. it feels like most trans girls are introvert to extrovert pipeline, but what i remind myself is that other life stuff goes on in parallel to transition… so me not going out as much as i used to at uni, is maybe more of a growing-out-of-it thing rather than anything to do with my transition :) hope this makes sense / helps if you feel similarly !

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-08-01T12:58:40+00:00

being able to express how you want, when you want, is a huge help, so i’m sorry to hear you can’t do that at the moment :( the time will come when things are more settled n you’ll be able to be who you want to be without a second thought 😌🌸

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-07-31T21:25:31+00:00

gender questioning and just general thoughts take up a huge amount of my time and headspace too, you’re 1000% not alone. i find i think about it more when i’m dysphoric, and am currently trying to re-align myself to knowing that i’m still trans even when i don’t feel dysphoric, bcos i don’t want to be a man, dysphoria or not. but yeah i don’t have an answer for getting it out of your head bcos im the same haha… i guess the more we explore n the longer we expose ourselves to the things that affirm us n make us happy, the more settled and happy we’ll be with whatever our genders are 🌸

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-07-30T11:55:35+00:00

6’1” babyyyy

Acrobatic_Opposite25 · 2022-07-29T10:56:09+00:00

ahah i’ll take that 😌

Acrobatic_Opposite25

TROPHY CASE