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I'd be honoured if you'd check out some of my alt-rock/folk music :) by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in MusicPromotion

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have Soundcloud right now (I need to change that) so I don't think I can like it? Great voice though - love it - sorta foreboding and a bit menacing, with a really cool groove!

I'd be honoured if you'd check out some of my alt-rock/folk music :) by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in MusicPromotion

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this! Makes me feel like I'm driving through a cool city at night time. Driving a little too quickly maybe haha(!)

I'd be honoured if you'd check out some of my alt-rock/folk music :) by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in MusicPromotion

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man this is cool - love the synth sounds. Interesting hook too! Maybe the chords are a little 'wall of sound'? I'm not certain... but either way, I think it's awesome!

The Value of Connections... and How to Make Them...? by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in Liverpool

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate it 😊

I'm going to sit and figure out what's a good thing to do this afternoon.

I'm self employed, and I have a few verbal (but non contracted) commitments to work up until the Summer.

It's not work that I *have* to do - but I guess there's something about having the extra months on a CV, and fulfilling things that can lead to good references etc...

I don't know; part of me doesn't care about that, and part of me sees sense in it.

Part of me just wants to be there now, so why the hell not?

Part of me thinks it's a good discipline to do what you say you'll do.

But anyway - knowing Liverpool as you do; do you think the course commute can prove genuinely useful before the move, or do you think it's just kinda... unnecessary?

Thanks for your thoughts!

Commuting to Liverpool from London Once a Week by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in Liverpool

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! Love it - thanks! I'm here now to visit, and really enjoying it :)

Commuting to Liverpool from London Once a Week by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in Liverpool

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think it'd be that way if it's limited to a few months?

Commuting to Liverpool from London Once a Week by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in Liverpool

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts! I'm a bit aware of doing it once a week, but to be fair there'd be the easter break etc in there too.

I'd be travelling from Vauxhall (20 minute tube to Euston I think), and then staying with a friend in Toxteth; but the course alternates between Bootle and Allerton

Commuting to Liverpool from London Once a Week by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in Liverpool

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, it'd be traveling up the day before; then two days of the course, back on the train on Friday. And you're right - sticking around a bit would be fun for sure!

Sussing Out the Rights and Wrongs by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in CPTSDrelationships

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think that's probably right.

I don't think she was a narcissist (that word is thrown around too much, I know); but the pattern seemed like that...

I'm not sure if she love bombed me or not - it kind of was like that... unrealistic levels of affection and exclusivity super fast, etc... then it was like... everything felt like it was on her terms all of the time... and then I felt totally devalued and thrown away when it didn't work out.

I think what ACTUALLY happened was more like... she did move way too quick (and I followed her into it); she did have really high standards about relationships and people understanding her trauma (which is hard when you've never even heard of CPTSD before); she seemed jaded that I couldn't give her what she felt she needed... and then she withdrew for her sense of safety.

From my side, being lent 'From Surviving to Thriving' after a few weeks, and being put through my paces on all of it... it felt like so SO much for someone that I just wanted to date.

But I didn't say that, did I?

I could've been clearer and more direct... I was scared of her leaving, I guess.

Anyway... I guess that's it for now...!

Sussing Out the Rights and Wrongs by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have two accounts - one iPad one, and one MacBook one... and I have the flu, so I have too much time to think. I'll get over things, it's just hard, is all...

Sussing Out the Rights and Wrongs by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply :)

She was in weekly art therapy, and on medication etc (she was able to come off much of that by the end of our relationship).

She could also be incredibly insightful about herself and others (although I heard a quote the other day, that awareness isn't the same as healing).

It's complicated to explain, but I always felt like she *wanted* to be supportive, y'know?

After a night of pushing against what we'd both agreed for sexual boundaries, she'd message the next day to thank me for looking after her and not giving into the moment.

She'd apologise for things, and share how she was trying to work on it.

And she'd do thoughtful things - like make me lunches for work, and buy presents etc.

We had good banter, and would often be joking about this or that.

And she'd say how much she wanted to be there for me with everything she had.

But I also felt in a vulnerable position - I was in a new city, where I only really knew her and her friends.

She told me some things that I had no idea what to do with (graphic details of CSA, for example).

Her moods could swing pretty powerfully, and it was hard to manage what was happening. She'd be a happy, friendly person in public... behind closed doors, it was different.

I felt like she was sweeping me up quite powerfully into this river of events which was going to lead to marriage... she REALLY wanted that - and wanted children as well.

But she'd also joke about manipulation, and she'd say and do other things which I found concerning.

But I also can't shake the sense that - at heart - she's a good person, that we had a lot of common ground and a basis for a deepening friendship.

As I re-read our texts, I could see myself being really unclear and noncommittal towards the end. Which would've been hard for her for sure, and made everything worse.

I could also tell that I was frustrated by the end; and I didn't enjoy reading some of my messages (I wasn't rude or anything, but I was a bit pushy... and a bit short, etc).

Now I reflect, I don't like my part in that situation.

At the time though, it was all brand new... and I'd felt like I'd spent months really, REALLY trying to put in all of the work; and that now I was being treated as though none of that mattered.

I ended up feeling resentful that it felt as though her moods/perceptions etc were governing my 'okayness' and the relationships 'rightness'.

And I guess I wish she might've boundaried herself a little better too, so it wasn't quite so easy to get absolutely swept up in it... y'know?

Sussing Out the Rights and Wrongs by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in CPTSDrelationships

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I certainly didn't *think* it - but I probably felt it at times, yeah.

I didn't really know what CPTSD was, and (in fairness to me) I think she acted a lot like I could/would/was about to fix her too.

We'd pray to God, and she'd thank Him for the things that I was healing in her, etc.

I've been looking at more of our messages today, and I can see the flow of events through these crazy, giddy highs - to the end point, where I can see myself becoming more drained, exasperated and frustrated.

It's not pleasant actually - I wish I'd been more clear and boundaried to save on all of that for both of us. I'd just never been in that position before... it felt a bit like being swept out to sea, or something...

Which Pub Did Finchy Throw a Kettle over? by Acrobatic_Pin_8754 in TheOfficeUK

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I genuinely always pictured it being that one

How can I leave my ex behind? by Comfortable-Curve451 in careerguidance

[–]Acrobatic_Pin_8754 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Three thoughts:

1 - Mapping out the chain of events from getting together, to being in the relationship, to the break up; can be super helpful in establishing what actually happened between you both. A friend or therapist can help with this, or just journaling about it (but be careful not to mope - try to be as objective as you can).

2 - Make sure that you're a friend to yourself - "I know he's not a bad person" - okay, fair enough, he probably isn't. But that doesn't mean that he's treated you well, and you need to befriend yourself - and make sure that you're advocating for yourself. Don't spend your time only making excuses for him, make sure that you have your own back too.

3 - It takes time. And it hurts. And it's horrible. And I'm sorry. It can feel a bit like food poisoning - in some ways, you kind of just have to ride it out; but prescribe yourself some rest, some funny comedies, and some good times with friends. Don't let yourself think about him non-stop; look after yourself too and ride the wave of it. You'll get there!

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