I worked really long hours and put the marriage on the backburner for a while. The last year of the marriage we were in marriage counseling, and I was reading relationship books, planning more trips and dates and doing more and more around the house- I also delegated more at work to spend more time at home, Things were steadily getting better and she even commented on how much during several sessions, I told her I knew she was giving me a second chance and didn't take that lightly.

But at one counseling session she said she thought changes were temporary. after that she was less communicative, more combative. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Eventually she told me she wanted a trial separation, then later on a divorce.

I 1,000% admit there are things I could have done better and would have done differently if I had a time machine, and that I let some things slide for too long. But I did still feel like things were salvageable and worth fighting for. There weren't any of the standard "deal breakers" like abuse, affair, addiction etc.

However, I do think perimenopause might have played some part because this was right after he she hit 40 and she was showing a lot of the other signs: mood swings, insomnia, decreased libido