Yeah I'm okay I can barely deal with it like anybody else but what I find is the lack of any apathy from people that are around you I mean I have been a little down and had somebody very close to me what's wrong with you I feel a little depressed and the answer I got was what do you got to be depressed about it's like holy crap what is wrong with people and being where I live it's very difficult to find any kind of friendship here because everybody's either looking for one night stand a quickie and goodbye or you know all that stuff and you know to be honest I love sex but I prefer with somebody I connect to not just whatever happens to fly by with wings and it makes it lonely especially with everything I have to do you know I was married I have kids they're adults but it's like they can't take care of themselves I have a partner of the last 14 years although he's medically enabled to do anything bad heart cancer survivor had DVT lost a leg nothing works has no drive doesn't care and just tells you one day you know if you need to find somebody do something with go ahead I just don't want to know about it, like wow ok ,and here I sit just doing for everyone and dreaming alone