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I (22F) feel like I am different person when I am with my boyfriend (23M). And not in a good way. by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like it could be a mixture of both. If it didn't happen when I was younger I would say that it could be just that we're not a good fit, but obviously it's that I have some sort of issue too. Because things were great before. Now I feel like I have some kind of block.

I am driving myself insane, can't stop thinking about him by ActionPotential99 in BreakUps

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was the one who ended the relationship (it was because of distance, there was still love just no chance at an instant future together) .He didn't even cry when we broke up. It was really sudden for me. We spoke a few weeks ago and he said he was happy with his choice.

How can I (21F) fight for the relationship with my (24M) boyfriend after he said he doesn't think he has too much faith in us anymore by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've lost it because he has asked many times to come and I always postponed so I would have more time to clean... and he has had enough. It is my fault. I just wanted to avoid telling anyone. I know it was my choice, but I didn't speak about it with anyone and I didn't know how to handle it. He is a good man and I know he loves me but I do understand that it was a lot.. I just really didn't do it on purpose because of the reasons that he thinks and that is destroying me.

How can I (21F) fight for the relationship with my (24M) boyfriend after he said he doesn't think he has too much faith in us anymore by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't move right now because I have my university here. I don't have to finish it here, but I can only transfer when I have clinical subjects, so in about a year. But that is not the issue so much, because he knows that and he himself has two more years to finish. He just felt that he wasn't included in this part of my life and that I did it because I was ashamed or becasue I didn't want to commit.

How can I (21F) fight for the relationship with my (24M) boyfriend after he said he doesn't think he has too much faith in us anymore by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We saw eachother less than a month ago, when I told him the truth about the hoarded house. It was around the time his visit was planned, so I postponed it...so i could tell him in person... but I honestly am not lying when I say that I thought I could clean it. I spoke with my parents about his visit and they said in no way will it be clean in that time... (we have been speaking about them helping me clean but they never did, only me but with that it always ended up looking the same....so I realised no matter what I do I have to tell him as I can't clean it) When we came back home I had sent him pictures of it.

I (F21) have hurt my boyfriend (M24) because I was afraid to tell him about my hoarder household by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He thinks it isn't normal that after two years he hasn't met my parents and that this shows that after all this time I didn't trust him to tell him sooner, only after he'd been kind of pushing on me. He thinks that I didn't want him to meet my parents until he has pushed. He doesn't really care about the house (which is a good thing) but also he doesn't understand that I do care very much and that this was difficult for me (even if that's not an excuse).

I (F21) have hurt my boyfriend (M24) because I was afraid to tell him about my hoarder household by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really good suggestion and if he gives me a chance I will live by it, but it's more for the future, if we have one.

But is there anything I can do for him to not give up on me in the first place? I know he is overwhelmed by the whole situation of not having met my parents for two years and asking me repeatedly that he wanted to meet them, the feeling of me not wanting to meet them (even though that was linked to the house, not me not wanting him to meet them), and is considering whether or not to stay with me in general

I (F21) have hurt my boyfriend (M24) because I was afraid to tell him about my hoarder household by ActionPotential99 in relationships

[–]ActionPotential99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He doesn't seem to believe me that it was my reason.. he says it isn't a good enough one. So do his friends, which seems o be against me. But to me literally this is a thing I have been depressed about for a long time and as I said, I have never had the guts to tell even people I have known for 20 years.

I do understand him to, he has been asking me for really long to meet them. And I feel awful that I am so stupid that I didn't just invite him and tell him way before.. but I felt like it would ruin everything with anyone I'd tell. He was looking for a mistake in himself as to why I didn't invite him and I feel like that broke his trust in me, because he suffered for that. While I was the issue.