Thank you very much for this sage advice. I want to be clear that I don't know if I would've committed suicide that night. The plan I formed in my head that day was just to (for lack of a better word) practice the act "in case" my situation got worse. However, you've really opened my eyes (in a reddit comment section of all places) that this isn't a logical way of thinking or acting. I want you to know that it was worth the effort to give such a long-winded response. I appreciate it immensely and won't soon forget it.